My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now; we're both 26 years old. There have been ups and downs, but lately things haven't been going very well. I love him and care for him very much, but I'm not sure anymore that he's the one.
I kind of want to take a break, just to have some time away from him, sort out my feelings, etc. But I know he doesn't want to, and he would likely say that taking a break means breaking up. How can we work out something between us that we can both agree on, that will give us the chance to heal our relationship?
2007-01-16 07:51:50 · 11 answers · asked by cajun m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well... the answer is really up to you. If you are not happy and feel the need to have some time appart, staying together only because he wants to, will it make you any happier?
My spouse and I have been together for 14 yrs. But, a couple times we took brakes from each other, for the same reasons you mention. We kept in touch, spoke to each other, kept the lines of communication open. Eventually we realized we were better together than apart and picked up where we left off.
May be the solution is not to separate completly, but to spend less time together.. sort of a buffer in between visits..every other weekend hang out with your friends, let him hang out with his.. see if you feel better alone or with him.
In the end, he has to understand this is important to you, and the best for the both of you. It takes two to tango, and if one partner is out of sync, then the dance won't be as sweet as it should be.
Good luck
2007-01-16 08:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by Martin G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and have an honest conversation. Tell him that you do love him and all and your mind is very confused about things and you need a little time to sort them out. Tell him that you are not ending things. Even tell him that you will call him up in 2 weeks to let him know how things are going. That way he knows that you ARE NOT disappearing for good. When the 2 weeks are up get together again and talk to him about how you are doing and whether you sorted things out and share that with him.
Good luck.
2007-01-16 07:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by moo shell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you, then taking a break from him won't make him break up with you. Just tell him you need some more space to think about things. If he says that a break would mean a break up then his is just trying to issue you and ultimatum. Don't let him do that to you. You have a right to ask for space. Maybe it would work if you just see each other say once a week? Whatever the 'downs' are in your relationship you should talk to him about them openly and honestly from your heart. Maybe that would clear up your confusion as to whether or not he is 'the one.'
2007-01-16 07:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop kidding yourself, you know it's over, you're just afraid to end it. It doesn't diminish what you had to realize that someone is not for you. The reason you want to "take a break" is because you don't want to be in the relationship. You owe it to him & you owe it to yourself to be honest & just call it off. Breaking up doesn't remove the possibility of reuniting at some point, but "taking a break" is simply trying to be comfortable instead of facing the truth. Good luck.
2007-01-16 08:00:26 · answer #4 · answered by Sam Fisher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your boyfriend, I was in the same situation, except I wasn't the one agreeing with the break. If the relationship is to work, you need to solve the problems together. If that is impossible, then the relationship isn't strong enough. You two need to talk and address the issues that are making you unhappy. If you truly feel you can't ever be happy with him, then leave...
2007-01-16 08:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a break = you get to have sex with other people. It always happens. I don't blame him for not liking it.
Look, if you are going to break up, break up. Maybe later you will get back together. BUT be fair - unless you agree to remain "unavailable" during your break (until one of you goes and does whatever anyways, because in your mind it's OK) it's no different then breaking up.
2007-01-16 07:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-31 07:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by dewulf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you need space then do take that space. explain to him the relationship is in a critical position and you need to think things out.
2007-01-16 07:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
taking a break is the first step in breakup.
2007-01-16 08:31:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you'll should break-up and see what's out there and if you'll reunite than you'll are meant to be together but if not too bad.
2007-01-16 07:58:09 · answer #10 · answered by lisa_08 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋