How can I help myself get over depression and my other problems?

Question

I am 15 years old and I don't feel very confident about myself. I get very nervous in public situations or in large crowds. I just sort of freeze and I don't know what to say. Like for example, at the start of Grade 9 there was a grade 9 day for all the new students before school started. I was walking into the gym where everyone was but I saw everyone talking, and I knew none of them (different district) so I started sweating and I turned around and walked home. Even in a store, I get nervous of the people around me. I take medication for depression and anxiety but it doesn't seem to help me, and when I look in the mirror I hate who I look at. Maybe some people will think this is weird because I am a guy and guys are supposed to be tough or whatever, but I just need some advice about what to do to help myself. I don't want to drag all this into my adult life once Im out of high school so I need to know what to do.

I will appreciate any advice you have for me.

get laid loser? Thanks ... thats really what I wanted to hear. If your just gonna make fun of me DONT ANSWER.

Answer 1

When you feel yourself get nervous, you start some good breathing exercises, this should help you relax. You can always leave the place that makes you feel uncomfortable and go to a place where you feel free. As far as problems you have to learn to resolve these yourself, deal with them so you can get on with your life without worry or depression. If you cannot solve your problems ask other people how they would deal with them. Just ask and you shall receive, ok like your doing right now.

Answer 2

its normal for people not to know where they fit in and to be therefore uncomfortable. In your heart, you're making everyone and everything bigger and more important than yourself. You have to realize that each person has a different point in life when they get past insecurity by being ok with themself. You are just a important, just as significant as anyone else. School is there to serve YOU. To prepare you to be what YOU want to be in life. The stores, the teachers, the policemen, the television commercials, everything here, is to serve mankind and that means you. So take a few deep breaths and repeat. "I am important and this is here to serve me." Then go into odd situations and get what you need from them to propel your life to where you want it to go.
And pay no attention to the morons that put you down. They're unhappy with their own worthless lives and want others to feel bad about themselves too. You're young, your future is before you. The world is your oyster and education is what unlocks your potential. Be happy with you.
Not all guys pretend to by tough. Some are sensitive and even too nice sometimes. I'm that way too. That's why I get the finest women on the planet. Stay away from fags and whores. You might need something to calm you down. The things you've said show pretty extreme nervousness. Studying the martial arts would be very good for you.

Answer 3

Did you know that its ok to be quiet if thats what you feel like doing. If you walk into a room, just do what feels right to you .If you start to feel nervous ,the best advice I ever got was to let the fear melt through you , dont stiffen up and get scared of it. If your personality is quiet, you are still ok .Why do you hate yourself when you look in the mirror. You are being extreme and too hard on yourself. I am sure you are your own worse critic so try to be more reasonable . I am sure you are a wonderful person and if you start knowing that, more confidence will come and less nervousness.

Answer 4

Hmm... Why don't you try making a list of things you do like about yourself? When your in a store or somewhere with people.... try the breathing method. Just breath in and out. I'm not sure if this advice help. It actually helped my friend who has the same problems. I'm sure there are lots of good things about yourself and what you have accomplished as a teen. I'm sure you have friends and you don't need to be nervous of your surroundings. Just breath and try to open up to the world around you and things will be much better. Also, if the medication is not helping then talk to your doctor about it. Well, i hope things will work out.

Answer 5

It's good that you're getting treatment for your depression and anxiety. I wish I could have told my fifteen-year old self to do that.

It sounds like you're nervous around people. If you're seeing a therapist, talk to him about it. Maybe you could practice conversations in a role-playing scenario with a trusted friend, adult, teacher, or guidance counselor.

The best advice I could give you is to get involved in activities you really enjoy, preferably something physical. Find an activity outside of school like karate, fencing, horseback riding, or something else where everybody will be an awkward novice. (The nice thing about it being unassociated with school is that if you embarrass yourself horribly you won't have to see these people for the whole rest of the year. It takes some of the pressure off).

The nice thing about physical activity (I have found) is that it will boost your confidence and make you feel better about yourself. All this while you practice talking to new people.

Try hitting the gym. Elevating your heart rate for more than twenty minutes releases a flood of endorphins (the body chemicals that make you feel good). It's hard to feel bad about yourself when you're working out and have natural feel-good chemicals in your body (one caveat: if you miss a few days of workout you'll go through withdrawal and feel like crap). Added bonus, you'll improve your health and looks. (and your perception of yourself)

The other nice thing about activities, (even non-physical ones) is that you know you automatically have at least one thing in common. (Hey, we're all reading the same book for book club! What do you think about the villain). Also, the groups will be smaller, so hopefully you'll be more comfortable.

When you start feeling comfortable handling yourself in social settings, try some school clubs. This will help you make some friends at school.

There are people, introverts like us, for whom interacting with other people is actual work (and hard work). It drains our mental and emotional reserves. Don't be ashamed of that, but do take it into account (party lasts for four hours, you're only good for three, maybe leave early or arrive late).

I hope this helps you. (Hang in there. High school is tough, but I promise you will find a place for yourself)

Answer 6

Let yourself know that you are in complete control. Find something youre good at or something you love and make it help you. For example, I used to be depressed and I sought comfort in music, I listened to India Arie. who made me feel like I could be a better person and not care what people say. Of course that didnt help me overall, but it helped when i was down. I dont think you get depressed, i think you get anxious and have low self-esteem. When you get in these situations, take a deep breath and imagine yourself as a confident, everybody-loving guy. And just pretend to be him for one day. Then, youll understand how appreciating yourself can go a far way.

Answer 7

You do not have Agorophobia, its when you scared of opened spaces where a lot of crowds are at and just public areas. I highly doubt if you have a depression. You just seem stressed because you have this insecurity problem, but the good thing is that you realize that it is there. What you need to do is to try to get friends. I know it sounds like too easy to do. Sometime to become cool with someone is not as easy as it seems especially if you new in that school. Well try to play a doctor. Sit in front of a mirror and talk to yourself why you are so insecure. Ask yourself questions like why I get nervous so easy? Ask yourself if you talk to people at all? Why you are not brave enough to just lift your head up and walk in to a room full of people that you dont know? Is that what happens on a family get together too? Or Christmas dinner when whole family is there? Maybe you are just nervous because you dont know these people, because they might not like you or think you are weird? Try to see where problem started? Have you ever had friends before? Do you communicate with anybody in the class? Why not? This way talking to yourself you will answer to yourself in a plain language and you will feel like "Daymn I am a fool! I dont really have any problem, I just have to man up and get in a bussiness! Its about time!" Something in that pattern. I hope it helps and next thing you know you are going to be just like anybody else in school. I mean you need to understand that all of us going through what you going through when we change schools or places we live at early age. Its part of being a teenager. With adults its easier because once we grow up we dont need nobody's approval, every is to themselves, and many of us dont even have real friends anymore. Trust me it takes time. So take your time, analyze everything in your head and go on do your thing!!! And remember there are people with a lot more serious problems out there so dont beat yourself up for this lil issue. You are going to be just fine! I have faith in you.

Answer 8

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 9

Your like my twin, i do the same EXACT thing in front of big crowds, grocery stores, whatever. I just freeze and get real nervous, especially around people my own age. I don't think i can advise anything, since i really can't figure this one out myself :) But just know your not alone, alot of people, including myself, get nervous in front of crowds. But why do you hate what you see in the mirror, you should never hate yourself; your you. Simple as that, don't hate who you are.

Good luck with the anxiety, i think I'm going to see a doctor about mine...!

Answer 10

A study just published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine concludes that exercise may be more effective than drugs in treating mild to moderate depression. The report by researchers at Freie University in Berlin found that just thirty minutes of exercise a day significantly improved the moods of patients who had been suffering from depression for nine months.

The 12 patients were asked to walk on a treadmill and to assess their moods before and after the ten-day exercise programme. Results showed that over half the patients who took part felt less depressed.

‘Physical activity has the same effect as antidepressants,’ explains Dr Fernando Dimeo who led the research. ‘Aerobic exercise stimulates neurotransmitters in our brain to produce serotonin, an endorphin which make us feel good. And exercise, unlike antidepressants, has no negative side effects.’

One of the main advantages of using exercise to boost your mood is that the effect is instant. Antidepressants usually take between two and three weeks to kick in, which can be a long time if you’re feeling really blue. And exercise, unlike antidepressants, is also not chemically addictive.

Another study done by Exeter University's sports science department is monitoring a football team that consists of manic depressives and schizophrenics to see if exercise will positively impact their mental health. So far their initial findings show a significant improvement in players' moods.

Dr Robert Lefever, GP and director of Promis Recovery Centre in Kent, sees an increasing number of people coming into treatment addicted to antidepressants. He claims that a third of the adult population in the UK is taking a prescribed mood-altering drug such as an antidepressant or tranquilliser when they may not need to be.

‘It is better to avoid using a drug if possible can because it can interfere with brain biochemistry, and our knowledge of how drugs affect the brain is in its infancy,’ says Dr Lefever. ‘It’s really like prescribing heroin for toothache. It gets rid of the symptom but doesn’t address the root of the problem,’ he says.
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Depression is manifested both physically and emotionally. The classic physical signs of depression are headaches, fatigue, digestive problems, hyperactivity, sleeping disorders, loss of concentration, and distorted eating patterns.
Chemicals imbalances in the brain can also be either the cause or effect of depression. Dopamine is the chemical that produces anxiety, stress, nervousness, and aggression. When the level of dopamine is ELEVATED, a person may develop feelings of insecurity, paranoia, and fear. Serotonin is another important chemical in the brain that can affect a person's mental well-being.
A person with LOW serotonin levels displays mood swings, and some sort of compulsion, such as alcoholism, overeating, or being a workaholic, perfectionist, or procrastinator.

Best ways to beat depression is Diet, Exercise, Supplements or Therapy.

Its essential to get the B-complex vitamins, since they work together to balance proper brain functioning.
Fatty acids, such Omega-6, Omega-3.
Magnesium and herbal extracts such:
St. John's wort (Hypericum perforatum in Latin) is a long-living plant with yellow flowers. It contains many chemical compounds. Some are believed to be the active ingredients that produce the herb's effects, including the compounds hypericin and hyperforin.
Chinese schizandra berry, wild oats, and calamus root.