Me and my mother have been fighting and I'm living in a foster house. I love her but not like before but then I don't hate her. I emailed her. I don't know what to do about my feelings for her.
2007-01-16 07:45:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I've been checking my email every hour since I emailed her. I haven't been able to sleep. I've been thinking about calling her cell phone but I really don't want to give her the phone number of where I'm living. Please, I need some help. I've becoming obsessed and I can't stand it. Should I call her, or not?
2007-01-18 09:57:43 · update #1
You poor kid. It's tough to deal with this kind of heavy stuff when you just want to be a kid and do the things that kids do.
I am not sure of your circumstances or what you are fighting about. But you are in a foster home so for some reason your mother was forced or voluntarily gave up her rights to you because she was putting you in danger. That fact alone must give you all kinds of conflicting feelings.
I am going to assume, based on the little information you have provided, that your mom stopped mothering you at some point--that she ignored her responsibilities. Was it drugs? Alcohol? Abuse? Abusive partner? At any rate, I am sure that you have some anger about that and it's going to come out in different ways.
On the other hand, you want, need, and deserve a mommy. You want her to be the mommy that you need.
Life's lessons are so very difficult sometimes and especially for younger kids. I would encourage you to talk to a school counselor about this because sometimes as much as we try to get people to be just like we need them to be, it doesn't work. And when it doesn't work, sometimes we blame ourselves and that gets us into a whole lot of trouble because now not only are we upset with the person we are trying to change, but we don't like ourselves much, either.
I would also encourage you to look around you and figure out who in your life is completely worthy of your love. Is it your foster parents? An aunt or uncle? Sibling? Friend? When you identify that person, focus on the goodness of what they bring to you.
Most of all, talk about your feelings with a counselor. That person can help you work through what is probably a very tough situation. But hang in there sweetheart. Things do get better. You will eventually be an adult and have your whole life to do the things that matter most to you.
2007-01-23 15:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a mom and a daughter can be so much alike - and so different - all at the same time. Sometimes those things cause a problem that just can't be fixed with the two of them living in the same house.
Parents try their best - but not every parent can manage to be everything that their children want - or sometimes even need.
You don't say much about what you're fighting about, or why, but that really isn't relevant. The fact that you e-mailed her is a good thing. Keep a small line of communication open. Maybe when you are older - and she is older - and you are both "wiser", you'll be able to find some kind of common ground to re-establish a relationship - a new, different relationship.
Good luck.
Blessed Be
2007-01-16 16:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by sewmouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers and daughters tend to bump heads at times. The only thing you can do is keep emailing her and tell her when she is ready to talk to leave you a message to call her. Put the ball in her court. If she doesn't respond back it is not your fault you did your part by making contact with her. Maybe what she needs is some time to think about things. You shouldn't beat yourself up about this because you are doing things to communicate with her it is out of your hands when she doesn't get back with you, you can't force her. Yes it will hurt but you are already doing your best!! Just give her some time and if she still doesn't respond it is her lose.
2007-01-21 11:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really look into your heart I am sure that you will find that you don't really love your mother any less than you did. You might be disappointed or upset with her and that may be clouding how you think you are feeling about her. Remember this is your mother and she is the only one that you have. It really doesn't matter what you are arguing about. The both of you have to come together and over come what is tearing you apart. It is better to work through the problems now than to have major regrets later in life. Please remember you only get ONE chance at this life. You should sit down with your mother and discuss what is going on in your lives. If you need to get a mediator to help you work through your issues do so.
2007-01-16 17:04:42 · answer #4 · answered by chugyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you want to give your mother the phone number where you are at? Are you afraid of physical or mental abuse? If not, then just call her and tell her you want to talk. Making a decision to cut off ties from a family member is one thing that you can't always take back. Make sure you think this through before you decide.
2007-01-23 21:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by awoman8559 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know exactly how you feel! My mom is in prison and I dont know what to do with my feelings for her either and the same thing with my dad! I was adopted by my aunt and uncle! I wish I could help you and tell you how to sort things out but all I can say is that you are not alone and you always have somebody to talk to if you need them! And one other thing is you can only do so much, dont go too far out of your way! Your mom will come around and if not then thats the way its meant to be! I mean I have not talked to my dad in three years! I am so sorry about what youre going through!
2007-01-16 15:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by dark angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet heart EVERY daughter has outs with their mom. Its natural. Let her know you love her, Though you may not like the way she deals certain situations. Also try to put your self in her shoes. Her baby girl is growing into a woman and is making her own decisions. Just remember that woman gave you life. And don't forget (God forbid) you could lose ever thing you have a split second. Life's too short to hold a grudge. Imagine life without her and you'll know what to do. Good luck!!!
2007-01-16 15:59:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully, your foster mother/agency can refer you to someone who can really help you deal with these feelings on a daily basis. Your feelings are genuine and reasonable, given your situation, and you deserve help and guidance in dealing with them.
Your mom will always be your mom, and you will always love her - but that love will evolve over time. My mom and I are adults; I still go to her for help, but we're more like sisters and friends. The most important part of our relationship is the deep respect we have for each other - and I wish the same for you and your mom. Work on it, give it time and effort to grow, and it will come.
2007-01-16 15:56:38 · answer #8 · answered by MomBear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to someone to help sort your feelings and emotions out.
You are in a foster home for a reason
You love your mom it is only natural
but not what she has done or not done.
talk to your foster parents and obtain counseling.
God bless remember you are a victor not a victim and That God loves you!
2007-01-23 10:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by tennessee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reason why she hasn't been answering your emails is because she doesn't want to talk to her daughter because they are in a big fight and she probably doesn't know it's you because you probably have a name that she doesn't ever seen and every time you emailed her she probably deleted it so just say on your subject "Hey mom it's me." and instead of me put your name and in the email tell her how you feel!!! Hope it works out between you both!!! THAT IS WHAT I WOULD DO!!!
2007-01-22 22:01:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋