How do I get my 5 year old son to sleep in his own room?

Question

My son is the youngest of two kids. His sister is 11. He is the baby & both of them have gotten everything they wanted & more. He slept in his own crib & room until he was 2. Then my husband & I separated for a year and he slept in bed with my husband when he visited, he only had a 1 bedroom apartment. When my husband & I got back together Patrick was used to sleeping with him so I let it continue. He is now 5 & I have done evrything to make him sleep in his own room. Disney Cars bedsheets, like 10 night lites, the hallway lite is on as is his bathroom lite & his TV is on. He finishes his movie shuts off the lights & sneaks into his sister's room & sleeps with her. If her door is locked he will sleep in the hallway. I do not know what to do. If you ask him when he will sleep in his own room he says when he is 10. I can not wait that long! Help!

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with wanting to sleep close to your family. In a lot of places, families share a single bed. Therefore, don't think of it as a bad behavior that needs to be stopped, but just remember that sleeping alone is something YOU want to do--not your child. It's not bad for your child at all.

Just make it clear to your child that you don't want him to sleep with you anymore. His sister probably doesn't want to sleep with him either, so offer him small rewards for sleeping in his own room. Eventually he will come around if you convince him and don't get angry with him.

Also, even if he persists, he will eventually want to stop when he's older. Children naturally want to push away from their parents at times, and it's a good behavior.

Just give it time, and be patient.

Answer 2

Hi, I did that same thing as your son does when I was young. I don't remember why I did this but I did. Finally, when I reached age 11 I stopped. I understand you do not want to wait that long, so I have some suggestions. First of all, stop spoiling your child. If you keep giving him what he wants when he's not doing what YOU want then its not going to solve your problem. Secondly, talk to him about why he does this. Sit him down and say, "Patrick, why don't you want to sleep in your room?" Maybe he is afraid of there being "monsters in his closet", or maybe he does it for attention. If you don't talk to him, you wont be able to know. Lastly, before bed tell him a story, and then sit next to his bed for about 10-15 minutes(not talking to him just sitting quietly). My parents did this with me when I was a kid and it worked! Also, I know you might think the TV helps him not be scared but its just causing another disraction from helping him to fall asleep. I hope your son will overcome this problem. Isabel

Answer 3

Well...my daughter (she is almost 4) went through a weird thing where every night she would fall asleep in her room but within 2 -3 hours would be crawling into my bed. She doesn't do it anymore because ...first i would take her to the bathroom..get her water and read her a book...then tell her she needed to go to sleep...sit with her for about 5 minutes and leave. When she got up that night instead of letting her crawl into my bed...i told her she's a big girl and needs to sleep in her room and took her back in there...she cried and fussed...and i went back in my room..she came right back and i did it again...eventually she went to sleep in the hallway...i let her..the next night the same thing..she again slept in the hallway...she did that for about a week then eventually she stopped trying and just started sleeping in her room. I figure..you son is sleeping alone in the hallway...and oh well....eventually he will not wanna sleep in there..just don't let him in with you...keep puting him back in his bed. He'll be ok don't worry =)

Answer 4

At some point.....the sooner the better.....you're going to have to take the high road. Meaning you've got to put-your-foot-down. If you can recognize both kids are getting their way most of the time, you can understand that they've both figured out how to get what they want from you even when you don't want to, Master Manipulators that they are! :::: chuckle ::::

Seems like you've got more than just him to contend with. The older sister gives in, too. So when you put your foot down, you've got to have her agreement too. Explaining to her that this is for everyone's benefit and can take a month of his complaining to fix or the next 5 years of everyone else's complaining to deal with.

When you give him the stiff arm, be sure to substitute his lost cuddle-with-mom time with bed time in your bed for a movie or book every night for a while. You don't want him to feel abandoned and you DO want to acknowledge his emotional needs, so this will allow him to have a little of you on your terms while he gets to learn that you have authority over him.....not the other way around.

Better he learn it now instead of trying to teach him you're the parent when he's a teenager with a car and friends that might not be the best influences on his future.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

My brother and my mother both used to sleep in the living room (him on the love seat, her on the couch), my father in "his room", and I, of course, slept in my room. When I moved out, my mother claimed my room to herself but my brother still slept in the living room. She put all his video games, dvd's, everything else he owned in his room to ensure he sleep there. At first he refused but now he stays in there. Aparently you've already tried everything in your power. Unfortunately, I think punishment is in order. I know he's only 5 and you may think this isn't a good idea, but it works. For every night (or morning) you find him out of his bed, take away one toy. Not a little toy like a teddy bear. It sounds to me like you've spoiled him so it'll have to be something big. He will whine and cry and may even pitch a fit but it will have to be ignored. It may sound harsh, but it will work! Explain as thouroughly as you can to a 5-year-old why his toys are being taken away, and eventually he'll get it. When he sleeps in his bed for a few consecutive nights, give the toys back one-by-one. However, if the misbehavior starts back up, begin taking away toys again (or priviledges, like dessert or cartoons). Let him know this behavior is wrong and will not go unpunished. You may not want to do this but it's worked many times over.

Answer 6

at our house we're on sticker chart system.

we sat down and generated a list of activities that are really motivating for her (she'll be 5 in march): ex. a trip to the children's museum, having a friend sleep over, going for a picnic, painting, etc.

then we set a goal. ex. after 5 stickers you can choose 1 activity from your list.

every night that she stays in her own bed she gets a sticker. and every morning we talk about how many more she needs to reach her goal.

it doesn't work EVERY night, but because she chose the rewards she is motivated to earn them even though she still hates staying in her room. hope this helps :)

Answer 7

Ohh that's a tricky one being as your older sons in all probability did some fairly severe "harm" on his protection. i assume all you could truly do is proceed to guarantee him that there is not any such element as monsters and boogie men (perchance enable him p.c.. out a protector toy so he can carry onto something) and while he falls asleep on your room, as quickly as he's asleep positioned him lower back in his very own mattress. perchance after some nights of waking up in his room he will understand that the boogie guy did not get him and he might properly be brave approximately it.

Answer 8

My son did this too. I was a single mom until I met my now husband of 13 years when my son was 2yrs old. My son slept with me when we lived alone. When my husband and I couldn't get him to stop sleeping in our bed, we tried everything, including putting him in his bed and leaving him there to cry it out. He could cry and get up for hours! We tried this for a weeks to no avail. Finally, someone recommended this and it worked wonderfully!!!

The first 2 weeks let him fall asleep in your bed, when he is asleep carry him to his own bed and if he wakes up in the night take him back to his bed. The next two weeks, lay with him until he is asleep then leave. Again, if he wakes up and comes to another bed make him go back to his own bed. Then the next two tell him you are going to read a story and he has to go to sleep alone. It's not going to be easy, but it worked for us. Experts may say go 'cold turkey', but they aren't the one listening to a screaming kid either. Do what works best for you and him. Sometimes weaning is the best option.

Answer 9

When i was 5 i had the same problem. DO NOT let him the TV on that is not helping him got o sleep.Get him to use only one night light,turn off the hall light. Shut his door and make him stay in his room. He will have to go to sleep sooner or later.My parents switched the lock on my door so that the lock was on the outside they,would lock me in there untill i finally cried my self or went to sleep.un-lock the door when you go to bed.(if he is assleep)

Answer 10

well obivously there is a connection between him and his dad im not acusing but did he ever do anything to him that might suspect him of doing somthing that the boy has a strong copnnection with him or maybe he jsut is scared of being alone because hes afraid that you guys will break up again so hes trying to keep you together just explain to him that hes to old to be sleeping in your room and also sit down and talk to him and ask him why hel likes to sleep in that room