What does it mean when your boyfriend says this?

Question

When in a realtionship when people say that they are on a break form each other, what does that mean, by "break"?
Does it mean that you are broke up or just that you are thinking about things?
My boyfriend just went to basic for 3 months and before he lefted we decided that we should take a break from each other untill he comes back and then if we feel that we still have feelings for each other then we will get back together. This is my first realtionship, so i'm really new to this whole dating thing. i'm 21 and he's 19. I really have feelings for him. Since he's been gone, everyday i have been thinking of him, and thinking about all the fun things that we did. I don't know if i can make it without him. I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!! He also said that he wants to MARRY me when he turns 21. So that's a sign. We've been dating for about 3 months.

So any advice about this is needed. Seriously!!!
Thanks alot

Answer 1

*he has another woman on his mind
*he needs time to think about the relationship
*he isnt sure that your the one

Answer 2

Hmmmmm...think about this for a second. Step outside of yourself and try your best to analyze the situation from an outside perspective. As if this is happening to your best friend and she's telling you all of the details of the relationship. Make sense?

One thing that a lot of other people on here are saying is that he has another woman. But if you've ever been to bootcamp, you'd know that there are no other women there! So why would he break it off with you if he's going there if that's the reason? It makes no sense to me.

Also, if he's going to bootcamp, is he joining the reserves or is he going active duty in the military? Don't marry him on a whim if he is going active duty. A lot of people do this and it almost always ends up badly. Another tip: DON'T BE OVERLY AGGRESSIVE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HE MEANS!!! Guys hate this! Refrain from writing him pathetic (sorry- only word I could think of) letters while he's there. Play a little harder to get- I don't suspect that you're doing this now. Guys would rather chase you than have you chase them. Also, be patient. Letting some time pass (months, a year?) will most likely answer your questions. Nobody on here has full access to all of the facts- only you and he do. It's possible that wanting to take a break could literally mean just that. He has other things to focus on right now and wants to get them done and knows that he won't have time for you. I once took a break from a girl that I liked (when I went to bootcamp) and figured that if she was still there when I came back it was meant to be. To make a long story short, when I came back, she wasn't there. And to be quite honest, I don't miss her one bit!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to say this but i think it means that it's over. My ex boyfriend of 2 years said the same thing to me and at first I thought nothing of it i just thought that maybe he needed his space but it has been 4 years now and i have never heard from him since lol. Where or what is basic? If he went on a trip somewhere then maybe there is some hope that he'll come back to you. Seriously, you have only been with him for 3 months and thats not a very long time to be with someone. If he said he wants to marry you when you guys have only been together for 3 months he's confused and doesn't know what he's talking about. I think you guys are moving way too fast and this probably scares him.

Answer 4

Great question.

This is more difficult to answer than most people would think. From reading a few replys, I think most people are looking at it one of two ways that really need to be combined into one answer.

Yes, it is true that guys will take the easy way out and call it a "break" to ease into the "break-up". Also, you need to think about the whole marriage aspect. That is a little bit too heavy for what is essentially a 3 month fling. Here is what is puzzling me...if he wants to marry you, then why would he ask for a break? I think that he is being very catious and wise for his young age. He is going into the military, could be shipped anywhere, and he is thinking of you first and foremost. He will be married to the military for his time in there. He realizes that it isn't fair to you to sit and wait. He may also be using this as a barometer of your relationship. If you wait until he gets back, then you are a keeper. Should you not, then you weren't right for him.

Admirable on all counts. I would be careful with the military relationship as an alarmingly high amount of military marriages end in divorce. But I think you may have a winner on your hands. Perhaps take the opportunity to casually date some other guys, just to see what is out there and make sure you have the right guy for the future. Shouldn't be any issue there.

Answer 5

When you're on a break, it normally means that you're gonna stop seeing each other for a while, but still be together, so that you have time to think about the relationship, whether its what you want, what you need or how you think its going, whether you want to be with them...breaks normally happen when people go away, mainly because they don't wanna miss you too much, so they call it off for a while and see if the sparks come flying back when you see each other, although in some cases, because going on a break is basically breaking up for a while, that person could be off with someone else, so I'd watch out and keep a close eye on him, but don't be too worried, after all, you've only been together for three months, its a bit too soon to be thinking about marriage don't you think?

Answer 6

It seems like he's just afraid of things being ruined by being far away from you. He might not trust himself to stay faithful to you and because he loves you, he doesn't want you to get mad.

It looks like you really are deeply in love with him, and he might be too. But it all depends on whether you can handle this "break." It means that you two aren't together (although that might hurt), and it also means that you two are free to see other people.

It's very likely that he'll meet some other women. He might be doing this because he wants to make sure that every other woman is not the right one, and that you are the right one for him. It sometimes takes some looking around to understand what you're missing.

It all depends on whether you can handle the fact that he pursued some other women while you two are apart. If he's so serious about your relationship and isn't afraid of talking about marriage, then it's very likely that he will come back to you. But are you strong enough at heart to take him back if he has been with other women? If you are, then you're a lucky woman, and things will be great. As long as you never hold the break against him. But if it'll tear you apart to think of him trying out other women before he comes back to you, then don't put yourself through that torture, honey! It's all up to you, and what you want this break to be about.

Meanwhile, you should definitely enjoy your life. I know that you miss him a lot, but thinking of the good memories you had will make it easier for you. Keep busy, do good things such as hobbies, spend time with friends and family, and time will pass more quickly. If it feels right, you could see some other guys. Just to make sure that you won't regret being with him and him only. Since you're new to dating, then you might want to see how things are with other guys (not necessarily sex, but just dating). Of course, if it feels right to stay single and happy, go ahead and do that.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, don't stop your life around him. keep going, even if it doesn't mean romantically with someone else, and he'll appreciate that. he'll understand that he matters to you, but you also have a life of your own that he will eventually feel honored to be a part of when he comes back.

Good luck with this!

Answer 7

just take things slow, you have said you have been dating for 3 months but before that said he was away at basic for 3 months and you are on a break? you also said its for first relationship and you're twenty one, You're most like just feeling the puppy love stages of the relationship its purely infatuation right now every one goes through it, when you're just starting to be with someone and everything feels perfect and that nothing could go wrong. I don't think that you really have any idea whats going on and neither does he if he wants to marry you already. Plus being with someone in the military makes a relationship extremely hard. Just take it slow and see what happens you have hardly even been around each other. Good luck but seriously get your head out of your A$$

Answer 8

"Break" could mean several things, it depends on what he thinks it means. It sounds like he is either planning on the separation to be a time to explore his feelings, or he is using the time to ease the inevitable break up. You have only been together 3 months, so don't be surprised either way. Sure he said he wants to marry you, but people say all types of things and then change their mind, or never meant it in the first place. You said this is your first relationship, but you are old enough to have seen how relationships go. If you're lucky, you find someone to love who loves you back, and if you're really lucky, you spend the rest of your lives loving each other, but the norm is that relationships end and you move on to the next. This isn't meant to sound negative, we learn from every relationship, and take something from that love with us to the next that hopefully helps us make the next better.
Keep your chin up, and your heart open.

Answer 9

i.m a man, and when I ask for a break it can be anything. Tierd of the relationship right now becuse we are not married and When i ask for a break it makes the excitement more wonderfull to see each other again. If you value the man you respect then give him that space becuse sooner or latter you ruch things you might have kids and no money! Give a relationship a break at times becuse there is alot of ther things in life you were doing beofre him or her! And if it was ment to be he will say something. Mean time don't let it bother you as this will lead to problems that he will LEAVE!

Answer 10

ok the word "break" means something different to everyone. personally i hate it. you either break up or your on a relationship. however in this case it seems like you both know you still have feelings for eachother but for some reason one or both of you think that you need to spend some time apart. this could mean that you can see other people or not. but sometimes when one of the two people decide to date during "the break" and then decides to get back together, this person can be unforgiving and hurt. that is why the whole "break" thing is stupid and if people decide to take "a break" they should establish the rules and make things clear. like one of the answerers said: think of what ross said to rachel after she found out that he had sex with another girl while on "a break": "but we where on a break!" talk to ur guy and establish what the whole break thing means to him.

Answer 11

Well basically, if he suggested of taking a break. He is just pretty much giving you some freedom until he returns home.
Probably just to be sure that you don't find someone while he is gone, and have to break his heart upon his return. Since this is your first relationship he probably just wants to be sure that your are sure about your feelings for him and that they are real.
It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, but in all reality alot of men that go into the military and unfortunatly alot of our soldiers that are called away to war, most often come back to broken relationships, so that may be what's on his mind.
Good Luck and keep writing to him, he will need your love and support to get through basic.