Why cant I get over my boyfriend?

Question

He dumped me because he thought that i was cheating on him.. I want him back, but he doesnt want me back. We had been dating for almost 2 years. Im sending him flowers tomorrow..

Answer 1

Because you have suffered a loss. There is void in your routine now that you are trying to fill and you are outside of your comfort zone. We've all been there!

Move on! Give yourself permission to grieve for a week or a month, but move on! He's just a boyfriend and you really don't owe him anything.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you're hurting, Sweetie. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to get him back. Where trust is involved, where someone is suspiscious of the other, it usually never goes away. I'm going to assume you weren't cheating on him...but even if you did nothing wrong, him just thinking it makes you guilty in his mind. Either that, or he was just using it as an excuse.

Two years is a long time to give your heart to someone, and naturally, you're in pain right now. However, the best thing to do is to mourn this like you would someone passing away or a divorce. Remember the good times and how it has made you grow as a person. Try to look for the things in your relationship that weren't so great and improve on them.

If you're suffering from severe depression, you may need to seek professional help. A lot of people have problems dealing with break-ups. If you're still up for fighting the fight, there are a few things you can do to make yourself feel better. The first and foremost is exercise. Working out releases endorphins that make you somewhat happier, and it takes your mind off of your ex...plus, you'll be in better shape for your next boyfriend :). You should also immerse yourself in your friends and family. These are the people who will be with you for a long time and won't ever "break up" with you. It would also be a good idea to get rid of things that remind you of him. It would be polite to return to him any expensive gifts he may have given you or any of his possessions. You may not want to throw away those pictures, but is it worth having if it will make you cry whenever you see them?

Relationships rarely last forever, no matter how hard we hope and dream. The key is to learn from them and make yourself the best person you can be. When you find the person who truly deserves you, you'll have that much more to give him, and you will know without a doubt who you are with or without a boyfriend.

Take some time to mourn, and then continue living. Those two years changed your life. Be thankful for those two years, let go, and smile.

Best Wishes.

Answer 3

It sounds like you were dumped on a pre-determined verdict. He is convinced and therefore you are guilty. So you feel the need to get him back because you didn't do anything wrong and if he would just listen then maybe you too would work.

Problem: If he was the judge, trial and jury and he found the defendant guilty. How will you prove your innocence? It is pretty hard to convince someone who has guilty stuck in there head.

I want you to get him back and somehow convince him you didn't do anything wrong. But a wounded heart is a hard thing to tell him he's wrong.

You can't get over him because you have no closure and to you nothing happened to change your feelings for him. Therefore in your mind the only problem is his misunderstanding. How do you let go of someone you love when they are just misunderstanding. There is still hope in your mind and there may still be for your relationship. But it is going to take some major convincing.

All the best,
Caroline

Answer 4

eeks..I wouldn't do that myself, but it's all up to you. We learn things the hard way sometimes.

There are men we never get over - but doesn't mean we still don't move on ...others we get over really easily - and others may take a few weeks or months...but yes, there are those few that stay with us always. Such is life. No different than anyone else. Life does indeed go on - if we like it or not - so sooner or later we just get on with life.

Answer 5

Sweetie, I understand exactly how you feel. And in your place, I would feel like trying to get him back too. After all, 2 years is a long time, and you two must have been in love.

But try to think of those 2 years in a different way. If he has the gall to dump you after that long, then you two must've had trust issues going a long way back. I doubt he got this idea of you cheating out of nowhere. You must've done something to make him think that you're not loyal...Perhaps you flirted with other guys too much. I'm not saying you did, because I don't know you, but that's a likely cause. He may have felt that he's not good enough for you and that you're keeping your eyes open to other attractive guys around you. I bet he felt insecure being one of the many guys you are attracted to.

Then again, i'm making assumptions.

Well, in the first case, if you did flirt with other guys or did something to make him suspicious, you gotta hand it to him. It was a logical decision for him to break up with you, and you should respect it. Chasing after him won't do anything for you because that'll make things worse. You may wonder why you shouldn't go after the one you love, but think of it this way. A relationship stops working when the man and the woman are no longer happy in their roles and start acting in a way that damages the relationship. It's a guy's role to go after the woman. Men love pursuing women, trying to win them over with flowers, and proving that they're good enough for us. It's something that can't be changed because that's the way men are biologically set up. By pursuing him you are making things worse. He will see you as a clingy nuisance even if your intentions are good and pure. And that's the opposite of what you want.

The only chance you'll ever have of getting him back is done in a totally different way. As hard as it may seem, move on with your life. Get back in to the hobbies or interests that you always had or always wanted to have, spend time with your friends, enjoy life! Judging by your avatar, you must be upset/angry with this situation. And that's your whole problem. No man would want to go back to a woman who looks upset or brings down his mood. Men are attracted to positive, independant, happy women. They feel honored when these women make space in their lives for them. And when they feel honored, they do everything to make you happy.

Once you start your life at full speed again, he'll come crawling back! That is, if you're smart about it. Maybe set up an "accidental" meeting with him while you're busy going through your everyday life. He'll feel a pang of remorse, and start pursuing you again!

If you want him back, the only way to do it is to move on and be happy :) Don't worry, if he's meant for you and you're meant for him, he'll follow you like a lovesick puppy! And if it turns out that he isn't the right one for you, then I'm sure you'll meet Mr. Right in your new and improved life.

I don't think anybody knows why you can't get over him. Even you might not figure it out for a long time. But if you're so attached to him and in love with him, then he may be the one for you. A simple lifestyle change to bring happiness to yourself will bring you tons of good things in the long run, and if you two were meant to be together, it'll bring him back to you. It surely sounds like you were meant to be, so I'd say give it a try!

Good luck :)

Answer 6

I believe that you should always let the guy chase after you know matter what the situation is. You're doing way too much to make him come back. You can't force somebody to like/love you they have to want to first.

Answer 7

If you keep begging you may win him back, but at what price? If he loves you and accepts that ou were faithful then you can fix your problems, if not, pack your bags and move on. BTW, guys don't like flowers.

Answer 8

Don't send the flowers.. Just find something else to keep your mind off him..

Answer 9

Because it was a relationship that lasted two years and it ended badly. By SITC standards you need two years in order to recover.

Answer 10

if he dumped you because he thouht you were cheating, he was the one cheating and he just didn't want to tell you, so he broke it off before you could get mad at him. most guys i've met are like that.