spanking my child?

Question

all of you who don't believe in spanking don't answer this question ok my daughter got spanked yesterday because it took me two hours to get her to brush her teeth i was chasing her around the house i would grab her and tickle her but after 10 warnings it got old so i picked her up and brought her to the bathroom to brush her teeth so she ran off again i grabbed her and spanked her once with my hand on her pants and she listened for 10 minutes then went outside after i told her not to i grabbed her brought her in the room pulled her pants down and gave her 3 swats on her bare bottom over my lap she totally listened we brushed her teeth and then we had some fun this morning i was putting her shoes on because we had to go somewhere she kicked her shoes off and ran around again warning after warning she got another bare butt spanking over my knee 5 swats she behaved so do you guys spank often too do u hav stories that will help make me feel better or compfort me thanx alot

Answer 1

I think your doing a wonderful job, if i was asked to make any changes, it would be not sending as many mixed messages. Like making something a game which to you wasn't funny (avoiding brushing her teeth) It should have been a warning the first time, instead of tickling her (though I totally understand, lol).

Your little one sounds quite young, I have given multiple spankings in the same day with the younger ones, so don't feel bad. That's the way it seems to work, 3 or 4 spankings in one day, then a month or more goes by with out having to do them. If she is older then 4 I'd not give her a spanking on the spot, rather I'd make her sit in her room for a few min. first then come in and do it. Yes bare bottom is the best way of getting your point across, don't count the swats, just try and judge weather or not she has learned her lesson.

All in all, I think you did just fine, ignore other who don't believe in spanking but couldn't resist answering your question even though you stated this is a question for spanking parents only.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I think that your technique isn't working especially if she still continues to do it. I used to spank and give warnings to my kids in the fashion as you have discribed until my 7 year old was diagnosed with LCP Disease. This disease affects the blood flow to the ball joint of the hip causing the bone to fracture and die and eventually the blood flow will return and the ball joint will regrow. This take between 1 to 3 years along with physical therapy and other procedures. Don't get this wrong, I asked the doctors if the spanking caused this and they reassured me that spanking does not cause this disease(many times I question this and I still feel guilty) Anyway I had to learn new techiques that didn't require spanking his butt. By the way I have 5 children: 2 are older then the son I'm talking about (I haven't spanked them for years -they get grounded) and 2 that are ages 6 and 4.
Follow these steps and I can assure you that she will listen and she will know were she stand and where you stand.
1. stop all the warnings: establish rules and a schedule and stick with them, make sure you explain to her that if she breaks the rule then she will have a time out. I used to warn and warn and I believe that they got so used to me warning that they paid no attention until I got so frustrated that I spanked out of anger and frustration. I still warn but only 3 times( for small things) and then they have a time out. When the time is up I talk to them.
Believe me I am not against spanking but for me I had to learn other ways and at first this time out stuff was more time consuming and stressfull because they would get out of the time out chairs and I would have to put them back and talk(they did this for about 1 week before they finally stayed in the chair). I didn't think this would work as good as a spanking but I have found this to be so much better for me and for them because they now know exactly what I expect from them. They know the rules. Now they listen so much better and I don't get as frustrated.

Answer 3

I am not a 'hitter.' Frankly, I can tolerate a 'swat' if a child reaches for something on a hot stove; or reaches into a fan. However...I am concerned that a lot of questions on Y/A are from S&M-type folks who 'get off' on bare-bottom spankings of their children. That is not good! Get your spouse to consent to a 'bare bottom spanking.' If your spouse enjoys it; and you 'get off' on it; then everybody is happy! And you do not have to involve a small child in your "pleasure!" The small child will appreciate this, as well!

Answer 4

Hurray for you. A lot of younger parents, including myself, are spanking more--we are just sick and tired of all the spoiled brats and the Nanny 911 nonsense.

You might be interested in learning that all the studies showing that spanking "destroys your kids and society" are either inconclusive or deeply flawed. There are actually very good studies showing it is the very most effective way to get kids to comply with parents' wishes and in no way harms them. If you are interested in reading my discussion of this it is on my blog at: http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

As far as spanking on the bare butt--that is the most effective way of spanking. I ALWAYS spank that way. That, for good reason, was the way not so long ago most parents spanked. But it was the first thing the anti-spankers got all crazy about. I am not that ancient--but when I was a kid my Aunt had a paddle hanging in her kitchen that had the inscription "For the Little Deer with the Bear Behind". And I know it was used according to the instructions--one time we were over there and I was the "little deer".

The other great thing you are doing is being consistent. That is most important. And with it--it becomes increasingly less necessary to spank.

Answer 5

Okay, I'm only twelve and I think what you did was right. To be honest, I attend school with kids that obviously have not been disciplined in their lifetime, and they're just spoiled brats who take total advantage of their parents. It disgusts me when I see it, because I know that if that were me and my parental units, I'd be spanked senseleness. There are just a few things that I suggest, and please take them seriously- because to this date, I still get them whenever I get merely an A- on a stupid quiz. >_<

1) Unless your child is really young, save the punishment for the end of the day. Why? Because if you get spanked during daylight, the rest of your day is shameful and ruined. Whacking your kid and sending him/her to bed right after at night is perfect- they can cry/think it off, and in the morning, they're ready for a new start.

2) Don't take their pants off. I know that it probably hurts more if you do, but it's just embarrassing- especially when your kid gets older. Leave their pants on, and either hit a lot harder or use something to make more of an effect.

3) Don't spank too much. I've gotten one for EVERYTHING, and still do- and all it teaches me is to lie to my parents to avoid it, and makes me way less comfortable around them. Plus, you don't want your kid to get intimidated when they talk to you.

4) Don't do it in public. It's humiliating, and the kid is focusing more on the faces watching them than the actual punishment itself.

5) If you're going to save it for the end of the day, at least say, "You're getting it tonight" or give them a second chance. Say, "You're getting it tonight, but if you behave, maybe I'll forget about it." This always helps. Don't do this, though, if the kid just misbehaves the next day.

Answer 6

the pattern you've establish will just continue. She knows she can gets away with it for a long time before tou actually spank her. She needs to know that when you say something you MEAN it. Tell her once. Say ' go brush your teeth now. If I have to tell you once more I will take you there myself and you won't like it' IF she doesn't go the first time, then firmly grab her arm and take her to brush her teeth. she'll struggle but she will learn you mean business the first time. you don't need to spank her if she knows you mean what you say because she will do what she's told. She will learn to respect your word which she doesn't right now. Tell her things once and then follow through with consequences.

Answer 7

I believe in spanking ..However you are the problem not her . You were chasing her and tickling her to brush her teeth . You made it a game for her and then when you didn't want to play anymore you decided to spanked her??? It was you that needed to be spanked. I very rarely have to spank our son. He gets time outs and occasionally we do have to spank him on his bottom just once or twice. He does get a warning before the spanking comes and if he still decides not to listen then he gets a smack on his bottom. There is no need to pull down his pants. Spanking is not about causing pain to your child. It is about humility there is no need for it to hurt them. It sounds like your daughter is always trying to play games with you. you need to set limits with her I think she doesn't take you seriously because she thinks you are playing with her. Good Luck try a time out once in a while she should sit one minute for each year old she is.
momof4

Answer 8

Spanking is an effective deterrent, but you need to not wait as long. Because the child actually enjoys jerking your chain, and as long as they know they can get away with it for 10 warnings, they are going to JERK YOU AROUND. Kids have such a sense of humor, more than us, and for some, if your reaction is emotional and not swift, they think the rise they get out of you is interesting. Swift, sure, and consistent will make you not have to use spanking as much. As they get older they will get desensitized and you will have to get creative about what you take away from them to really punish bad behavior.

My stepkids thought time-out was absolute hell, especially when the 2 of them got put in time out because they bickered, and had to look at each other without talking or getting up. They would cry like there was no tomorrow if they had to go in time out. But I never had that as a kid. It was a good ol' ***-whippin for me - and did not damage me in the least. Because I KNEW it was coming if I broke the rules, I hardly ever got spanked.

Answer 9

How old is your child? If she's under three, you NEED to be patient. They are just starting to learn disipline and rules. They, too, want to run, run, run and not take time out for anything that is supposed to be part of a daily routine. You, too, need to be firm and try to make a daily routine and stick to a schedule.

Start a reward system every time your child brushes her teeth or make a daily chart and let her add her favorite stickers to it when she does as she's told.

Answer 10

Yes-my kids are young and close in age. They do the same thing. They kick their shoes off when they don't want to go somewhere. They repeatedly do the things that I ask them not to. I put them in time out and finally I have to spank them. It's hard and it hurts the both of you-but keep at it girl. I'm not saying beat them, but spanking is due when you see the need for major discipline. Otherwise they will run right over u. My kids will try and test the water with me to see how far they can get away with doing things. It is very frustrating. Good luck. I always try and explain to them why I spanked them afterwards when they're done crying. If there was another effective way to discipline and get them to pay attention and mind, I would love to know too. I've tried everything.