Here is my joke my joke please post yours.?

Question

Black Eyes

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned.
"What happened, my child?"
"I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me had a wedgie. So I pulled it out, and she punched me in the eye."
"Okay. But how did you get the other black eye?"
"Well, I thought I'd done something wrong. So I put her wedgie back."

Answer 1

That was good I hope you don't mind if I post it at my group site.


Heres you one...



A Engineer dies and goes to heaven,
when he arrives at the gates he
is told there was a mixup
and he was supposed to go to hell.
So he gets in the elevator
and is instantly transported to hell.
After a few days the engineer
decides hell needs soom fixing
up so he
installs some faucets with cold icewater,
a swimming pool, and best
of all AIR CONDITIONING!
A week later the Devil receives a phone call from god,
God tells him
there has been a mistake,
the engineer was supposed to be in heaven.
The Devil grins and says,
"Well its too late, we have him and we are
going to keep him."
God thinks for a minute and replies, " I'll sue!"
The devil respones with a loud burst of laugher,
"ahhhHA HA,
youwhowho, HEEHEEHEE!
Where are YOU going to get the lawyers!"

Answer 2

Don't drink and Mass !!!

A priest was very depressed that every Sunday no one comes to church, but on Fridays Muslims fill the mosques completely. The priest was so depressed that he thought of killing himself. Instead, he went to pshychiatrist and told him about his problem. The psychatrist told him that the answer was easy: "Make an announcement that a big MASS or LITRUGY will be on such and such day, and prepare the church for the great event...and...don'gt forget to invite me!"

The priest happily responded and promised the psychiatrist the best mass he'll ever see, but as he was talking, the psychiatrist could smell alcohol from the priest's breath.

Anyway, the priest did what the psych advised him to do...and on that day the church was full of Christians till it was more than full. The psych came to listen to the priest's prayers and speech. Actually, it was powerful speech and all the crowd were deeply affected and many greatly wept.

Following the end of the celebration, the priest met the psychiatrist and asked him: "How did you find my speech, Doc?" The psych replied: "It was great! Save for only three errors you've made: First of all, his name was Jesus; not Jesse. Second was that he died on a cross; not in a motor-bike accident. The third thing, a$shole, when you descend to greet the spectators, take the stairs; not sliding on the balustrade !!!"

Answer 3

that was pretty good.. ha ha..

here is mine..


It's the way you say it...

A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays.

He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed.

He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?"

The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question.

"Yale," she replied.

The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL??"

Answer 4

there's a white man, black man, and a mexican who r all in a plane that is about to crash they are all told to jump out but there r no parachutes so say your last words and jump so the white man goes up and says "I hope my wife knows how much I love her" then jumps
the black guy goes and says "If you live and i don't tell my family i love them" then jumps
so now up goes the mexican and he trips and falls out of the plane screaming "my sandal"

Sorry that last part is supposed to be in spanish but i don't know how to spell it.

Answer 5

that was cute. heres mine
a woman went to the icecream shop ask the clerk for a 1/2pint of chocolate ice cream. the clerk said sorry man we're all out of chocolate ice cream she said ah and left, then , she came back and ask the clerk "can i have a cup of chocolate ice cream the clerk said" ma'm we are all out of chocolate ice cream. the lady said ah and left the store. then she came back and ask the clerk "can i have chocolate ice cream cone' the clerk said ma'm can you spell the "van" in vanilla she said yeah "van" he said can you spell the 'straw " in strawberry she said yeah "straw' he said can you spell the f*uck" in chocolate she said theres no f*uck in chocolate he said exactly thats what i've been trying to tell you.

Answer 6

lol that was really funny

ok

here's my joke

what do the pizza delivery guy have in common with the gynecologist?




well they both can smell it but cant taste it lol

Answer 7

this man said, things are so bad, that if my wife ran away with another man, i will go with them

Answer 8

haaaa!!!!!!!!!