We have a great relationship, we spend a lot of our time together, we skydive together, he's my best friend, and we love each other very much. This would be a picture-perfect relationship except one thing is lacking: the romance. As sweet as he is, he doesn't know how to be romantic. We've discussed this several times, and he always says that he has been used to dating the "goth" girls who didn't care, and not a more "girly girl" (like me I guess?) who wanted romance. I think I first brought up this topic with him a few months ago, and since then he has made no effort to start adding romance into our relationship. I'm not asking for him to buy me expensive presents or anything like that, just the little stuff, like a love note every once in a while or him tellin me he can't take his eyes off of me. He tells me that he loves me all of the time, and he says that is how he expresses his love.... but to me "I love you" and "you mean the world to me" say two totally different things.
2007-01-16 06:03:12 · 15 answers · asked by Wondering 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be romantic to him.
Show him what you mean by 'romance'. Write him a letter, give him a mix CD of your favourite songs, buy him a little gift, make dinner etc. etc. But don't shower this stuff on him. Just do something little every now and then and after a few romantic gestures of your own you can explain that's what you mean by romance and that you would APPRECIATE (NOT expect!) similar gestures from him.
Depending on his age he may not be mature enough to recognise your needs and he might not be emotionally committed enough to provide for them (typically 16-20)
But if he's any older than that he can learn! And you should be the one to teach him...
2007-01-16 06:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by slim_neva_shady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Why can't you be greatful for the solid relationship that you do have? I'll be honest, most men aren't romantic. They don't even see the point in that. But you said yourself that you have a great relationship, a picture perfect relationship. It sounds to me like you are looking for problems with this relationship. Are you really willing to ruin a good thing over something like this? Just think about that.
In asnwer to your question, most men don't even know HOW to be romantic. Maybe you could give him specific examples of what your idea of romance is. Get a book for him to read that can give him ideas. Tell him that spontinaity is romantic most times. Let him know that he doesn't have to go all out romantic or even to be romantic all of the time. Even if he could just make an effort once in a while, it can only help HIM to do so.
Good Luck!
2007-01-16 06:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change a person. There are guys out there, like your boyfriend, who love their girls, but are not the romantic type. If he is able to become romantic, that's great, but if not, that's just him. Be happy with the great relationship you have. By the way, I think you're expecting a bit too much. To have a guy tell you he loves you frequently, as he is doing, is great. Now you want him to write you love notes? Has he ever expected you to change for him? Be content with the "I love you's." Don't make him put it in writing. Be realistic and grow up, for God's sake.
2007-01-16 06:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by bellegurl17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont trust your wife then why are you worried about saving this marriage. And as for her fooling around 1 mo into your relationship...you knew about it and you accepted it now theres nothing you can do or say. Once you accept it and marriy her you move on. And you did the past is the past. And as for her talking about everyone tell her it makes you uncomfortable. And be honest with the child subject. If she leaves you cause she wants a kid that would be better then you having a wife that is depressed with no kid. She probably thought that after marriage came children. And in most cases this proves to be true. If you dont want kids there are others out there that feel the same way.
2016-05-25 01:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by Beverly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you told him about this a few months ago and since then he made no effort to improve I guess you should let it go...or just go to him and scream it in his face that you want him to be romantic...let's just say not all the time but at least in special occasions...good luck
2007-01-16 06:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by lonely 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god! I would be soo happy with your relationship! He obviously loves you - he tells you all the time. So what if he doesn't give you a love note or whatever. He clearly doesn't feel comfortable with that behaviour - otherwise he would have started doing what you wanted. Just be happy and in love & know that you've got something that most of us would kill for!!
2007-01-16 06:31:03 · answer #6 · answered by badgerpigeon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the first move, show him what you mean by romance. Most guys either don't know or have a different sense of what romance is due to their upbringing or the different women they have dated before you.
Show him.
I wrote a blog dedicated to this topic, How to cheat on your girlfriend. If you are curious on how its done, read up:
http://360.yahoo.com/howtocheatonyourgir...
2007-01-16 06:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
all the things you do together are romantic and you have a good thing going.just remember except him for who he is and don't try to change him because if you do,you will be seeing a two sided mirror of yourself!.
2007-01-16 06:13:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, how about you do those things you want him to do, to show him? If you have a romantic connection, its easy to express your romantic feelings, unless he is shy.
alot of guys are not connected to their feelings and have a hard time expressing them..
2007-01-16 06:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have repeatedly told him for seven months that you want romance and he hasnt changed yet, he may never change. Come on, his excuse is lame, all men know how to be romantic....is it really that hard??????
2007-01-16 06:09:27 · answer #10 · answered by bgsfnstldy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋