i have a major problem, i have known my current boyfriend since i was 9 I'm 24 now(my bros friend). we never really hung out until last summer and when we did talk it was like he was a male me and we clicked so we started going out and now he has told his sons mother whom he was in a relationship with for 6 years off and on that he has a girlfriend and he is never coming back, now let me pause and tell you the situation between them well she has three sons 13,10,and his son who is 6 he takes care of all three and i commend that so we don't want to tear him away from them knowing he iis the only father figure thay have, but she does things in front of them and to herself to make my boyfriend feel bad for not coming back home. now here is my problem he wants to be there for the kids but not her and she has cut her self , starved herself, told him and the kids she was going to kill her self, and everytime we are having a good time she finds a way to mess it up. what should i do?
2007-01-16 06:02:05 · 13 answers · asked by vashi p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way he was moved out of her house for a year and a half before we even hooked up, she just started acting like this when she found out that he wasn't coming back to her. what should he tell her because i feel like i should just lay back and let him handle it and deal with her.
2007-01-16 06:04:50 · update #1
she is a psycho...she needs help.maybe he should take custody of the kids
2007-01-16 06:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert, but I highly reccommend that you lay off until he deals with her. Even though you two care about each other, he has to look out for the well-being of his own children. This women has serious issues and it seems he is the only one to put his foot down and deal with her.
2007-01-16 14:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's playing both of you. If she is starving her self because she has a full time nanny, whose really doing her a super favor, by raising the kids let her starve, shes a drama queen, who deserves no attention. And if he keeps mentioning her silly ways to you he's just playing you. If the sex is good continue to play with him until you can find better. But do not put all your eggs into this basket
2007-01-16 14:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your right to stay out of it, just be there for him when he needs it but don't get involved. this is a sad situation to be in and i'm sorry the kids are getting hurt by her bahavior. she really needs a doctor and some meds, maybe you can suggest it to your boyfriend so he can try to get her to go get help. all you can do is be supportive. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-16 14:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs counseling! Tell him to document when she does these things and consider whether he wants to take the children from her. I would notify social services for the dis protection in case she decides to take her frustration out on them as well.
2007-01-16 14:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, she's got him wrapped around her little finger. He needs to stand for his children and himself. Usually people who threaten to harms themselfs don't, they just want attention. Think about whether or not you want to be with a man who is so easily manipulated. She needs help, but as long as he runs to her becking call she wont. Why should she? She's got him where she wants him.
2007-01-16 14:12:56 · answer #6 · answered by gone from here too 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your shoes I'd convince him to fight her in court for full custody of those boys weather they're his or not. She doesn't sound like she's the type of mother the boys can always rely on to be there for them if she's trying to commit suicide and self-inflicting injuries. One day they may walk in the house to find her dead by her own doing. They need to be in a more stable environment so that they can become nuturing productive adults in our society. If you are willing to be a part of their lives and try to create a normal environment for them and the both of you then stay, if not, then you need to leave now before you get in any deeper.
2007-01-16 14:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by "N"saysable 1iric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO if he keep's running back to her no find some one eles because it will just get worse trust me I've been their
2007-01-16 14:11:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him 2 take her 2 a mental hospital
2007-01-16 14:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by Bugz Bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your boyfriend needs to document the things she is doing and take it to court and children services. She doesn't sound stable enough to have those kids in her posession. I don't imagine he has any real feelings for this woman, that shouldn't be a problem, he just is fulfilling his obligation to his son and to keep him safe!
If you decide to stay with this guy you will have to understand you will have to deal with this for quite some time until his son is old enough to be on his own at least. You need to ask yourself if it is worth it and if your love can withstand the emotional ups and downs of a situation like this. You would be amazed at what true love can withstand. It just has to be worked and and have lots of patience.
2007-01-16 14:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by cakelady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, no, it's not worth it. There will never be anything you can do to change her, she will always be a lead weight to him and therefore to you if you stay with him. She's got serious issues, and I feel bad for the kids, but you need to think about you. You are under no obligation to take all this headache on, you aren't going to save anyone, but instead probably be a crutch for everyone to lean on. You deserve better. I'm not saying he's bad, but the entire situation is, and life's too short for that.
2007-01-16 14:08:04 · answer #11 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋