what do I do? my boyfriend's kids are out of control! I get so mad.?

Question

Ifeel like I have to sit back and let thier dad handle it all. and it makes me feel bad for him. there is a 7yr.old boy, 10yr.old girl, and a 11yr. old girl. They throw the WORST tantrums and I can't stand it any more. I love them all. But they get violent over nothing. thier mom is never around and lives in another state. She left 4 almost 5 yrs. ago. Please help, because I can't take much more.

Answer 1

Take a Parenting with Love and Logic class with your boyfriend or buy the book. It helped us a lot!

Answer 2

You might want to talk to their dad. I wouldn't talk to the children. After all, they are children. You need to have a united front with your boyfriend. I don't know how long you've been with him, but if you're living together, seems to be longer term. I'd tell him that he's got to set a better example, more discipline, for his children so that they grow up to be "productive members of society." They can't be out in the "real world" throwing tantrums. It's going to get them in trouble one of these days. Perhaps telling him you'd like to help with the children, but you don't want to overstep your bounds. You are, after all, "only the girlfriend." This is the route I took with my boyfriend (now hubby) with his son. The child had no discipline and I finally told my hubby that if he wanted me to be around the child or have anything to do with him that the relationship pattern he had established had to be addressed. My husband wanted to be the "fun" dad and thought that meant never saying no. I think we've both come to an agreement that we can be fun and "cool" and still have boundaries and reasonable expectations. My step-son is 11 now and knows how to behave and what is expected of him at our house. Good luck.

Answer 3

you love this man than you should confront him about all this he can easely loose you because of all this there are ways that he can do to have his children under control also since the children haven't seeing there mother for almost 5 years it's a way they are saying that my father and mother will be getting back together soon and I don't want you in our lives. But you need to sit with your boyfriend and talk to him about this. My daughter is 18 years old and she does not talk to him base on her past history but she stay away and my boyfriend don't say a word until she says something. This whole thing can ruin your relationship if you don't talk with him. Good luck

Answer 4

If they live in your house, then they live under your rules. Stop standing back and make it clear what the rules are and have boyfriend know he is to back you when you discipline the kids instead of siding with them. If boyfriend does not like the rules then tell him to take his kids and leave!
You are entitled to a calm non-violent home enviroment. Step up tto the plate and take charge if he won't.

Answer 5

i have 2 step children and i know exactly how you feel but you are going to have to take charge or they will think they dont have to respect you if they live in your house they should follow your rules and your boyfriend should stand behind you on any decisions you make if he tryies to over turn your authority it will never work treat them as you would your own with no slack just because they are not your biologically they are yours because you are with there father good luck!!

Answer 6

Call Supernanny!

Answer 7

i have step kids my self there just acting out over ther mom give them some time and if thay dont come arownd you may have to start spanking them

Answer 8

you have to put your feet down. if they keep putting up those tantrums, try ignoring them, once they realize that trantrums dont work for getting what they want, then they will eventually stop.