Is it wrong to be independent?

Question

I date but don't want to be in a comitted relationship because I don't want to attachments of being a girlfriend and I been seeing this guy and he wants more. he ask me to let him stay at my house while I ran to the store and I told him that he had to come with me, and he was upset. was I wrong for doing that? if I was a man it would be okay right? why is it wrong when a woman wants to take charge?

Answer 1

It is most certainly not wrong for a woman to want her independence! If this guy cannot see the unique quality you possess he is not worth the effort. He needs to respect your right to be unattached the same way you would have to do if the roles were reversed. I hate that old school mentality that women are not allowed to take charge and possess their own independence. Just keep patiently reminding your man that you have a quality many women do not, and that is the fact that you are comfortable enough with yourself to do it without a man at your side.

Answer 2

Independent is fine, but I'm not sure what that has to do with a guy hanging at your house while you run to the store. You insisting he accompany you sounds like a lack of trust, not independence (and would be the same if the roles were reversed)

Do what works for you...and if you don't want to be in a serious relationship then don't be in one. It's all good as long as you are honest with the people you are dealing with, and whose lives you are affecting.

Answer 3

It's ok for someone to expect a certain amount of trust in a relationship. It seems like he expects more than you're willing to give, is all. Neither of you are "wrong", but usually relationships do progress towards closeness, it is natural for him to expect it to happen. However, if you're more comfortable keeping them "at an arm's length", it is certainly a valid choice, and it's only fair that you're letting the rules be known.

Answer 4

It's not wrong to want your independence and freedom, but in this case it's an issue of trust - not taking charge. You may have seen it as an act of independence, he saw it as proof that you don't trust him to be alone in your home. And you might not - that's fine, but you should understand that he might not be happy about it.

Answer 5

Some men are just not secure enough with themselves for the kind of woman you are. It may take time, but there are men out there that find independence a good trait to have. Some of us women just can't help but take care of ourselves first....just be yourself and move on if he can't take it!

Answer 6

you are in no wrong because first of all, its your house and you are in charge and secondly, he isnt even in a relationship with you so he doesnt have to right to get upset.

Answer 7

Hey gal is nothing wrong what you did, Keep it up just like you like it...If he get upset for that means he is a cry baby you don't need that...So you don't need that guy around you...IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!! Wanting to be that way...

Answer 8

It's NEVER wrong to be independent. If anything, it's the rightest thing you can be. Would you rather be a childish, needy clinging-vine?

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Is not wrong to be independent, but it's wrong to be rude.

Telling him to go with you just spells "I don't trust you" and has nothing to do with independence.

Work on your manners.

Good luck