There are some details that could change your answer...
- This was the only day we shared a free night (we work nights)
- Her son is a lil' less than a year old
- We've only gone out once, and talk on the phone often
- I don't really know her and her family well enough to ask myself to her house (she lives with parents)
- She doesn't really know my family to the point where I think she'd feel comfortable with my family watching her son
- We've talked about the fact that she has a son, and also that she would be my first girlfriend, so we agreed to take things SLOWLY
- That's right, she's the first girl I've been out with.
2007-01-16 05:19:35 · 14 answers · asked by Wocka wocka 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well....her son has to come first...give it time and be patient...good luck
2007-01-16 05:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering if she is really, really interested in you????? Why didn't SHE ask her parents to help? Especially under the special circumstances? Also why doesn't SHE invite you over to meet her parents? (By the way- I agree about this Alyssa chick....brother talk about issues! sorry, got sidetracked because I just read something else she responded to.....)
I do agree, though, that you need to get to know her better before you start doing things with her and her baby. Less than 1 yr old is tough to have any kind of evening out, and besides she needs to get out and breathe some fresh air herself. Her parents might be the babysitters during the time she's working, so they probably don't want to watch him at night again.??
Hang in there. Maybe go to the house with flowers or a little something for 'mom' and something for your girlfriend, baby, introducing yourself, seeing how and where she lives will also give you insight on what her life is like.
If you are interested, keep talking and keep trying. You don't want to walk away from something that could be the best thing for you and your life. You sound like a really good guy. Keep talking, and keep trying. If it suppose to be, it will happen--but--you have to do your part. Good luck!
2007-01-16 06:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Nisey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok listen up dude. your dating a single mom. this is a whole new ball game. you need to be very paitent with her. her child will come first over you everytime. no matter what her feelings for you are. so if u cant handle being number two get out now. single moms dont have bfs. they have potential fathers. they want someone grown up and responsiable. and someone who wants a family. if u cant provide that kind of love then get out now. u couldnt find a sitter the other night u need to come up with a plan b that involves that kid. chuckey cheese. anything. i take my son whos only 18 months old out all the time. we go everywhere. have been since he was 6 months old. so it can be done. you need to talk to your dad about this as well. can you cope with it. being with someone on a long term relationship with a child that isnt yours can be hard sometimes. you might have a disagreement on something as small as when a bottle is no longer needed. some say one years old some say two. me i dont think it matters. if u want to talk further on this u can email me or IM me. if u really love her and you want to make this work your going to need alot more help then what i can type here. good luck with what ever you decide to do.
2007-01-16 05:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother for the first time can be a scary thing. Maybe she doesnt want to leave the child with someone she doesnt know too well! Which is a smart thing these days! Ask her about that? Maybe she can even bring the baby on a date with the 2 of you, I mean you can have a bit of alone time after the baby goes to bed and everything. Just talk to her about things like this and see where it goes! And you do not want to take it too slow in a relationship...that can ruin things just as much as going to fast can!
2007-01-16 05:25:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you would be....try to be understanding of her situation whenever possible. If you really care about this girl, then don't make her feel bad if she has to cancel dates with you because of her son. Her child should ALWAYS come first, and you should respect her for that.
If this ever happens again, make the suggestion that you take her son along with you. You will still get to spend time with her, and get to know her child at the same time.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-16 05:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what's the problem? There's nothing wrong with dating this person other than trying to find a sitter. You two need to come some terms on dating each other because I wouldn't trust my child around anyone either. This is workable, just be creative.
2007-01-16 05:24:50 · answer #6 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like Alyssa has a few issues of her own,
she might be trying to go out with the girl you like! LOL!
OK, seriously, talk to her about it and depending on yoru ages, ask her if you can meet her family. Try having a few at home dates with her, watching tv, going out with her and her child. If you truely have feelings for her or are developing them, this will either soldify your feelings or tell you this is not what you want.
2007-01-16 05:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by PDK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should take the baby with her when you go out next time she doesn't have a sitter. If you want a relationship with her, you need to involve her son as well.
2007-01-16 05:25:47 · answer #8 · answered by KB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying. Things do come up with single mothers. You should talk to her about helping her with child care. Offer your parents services and see what she says. You never know until you ask.
2007-01-16 05:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if she will meet you for coffee/tea in the afternoon. Perhaps a walk? That way she can bring the young'un along.
Single mothers are a different animal altogether. its the mother bear and cubs thing. Don't expect to be first in line. the kids are always FIRST!
2007-01-16 05:24:57 · answer #10 · answered by Whoa_Phat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call her house ask to speak with her parents, and ask them if they wouldn't mind sitting for their grandchild so you can take mommy out for a night, and a well deserved night probably... That may put you into a better position with them when you do become closer to her family Good Luck!!
2007-01-16 05:23:52 · answer #11 · answered by momof3 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋