Can a girl love you while she beats you up badly when she is angry ?

Question

I am in a strange problem . If I am little harse in my voice or angry for something and talk little strange to her or ignored her anger I get beaten up badly by her . She keeps on doing that for almost one year .She beats me up but I am still with her hoping I will find something to change her but nothing did . When she beats me if I dont repky in anger and just try to make her laugh she is fine but if not I am badly beaten up by her . Please please and please advisse me to help her . Some thing that I can do to deal with this type of person I guess there is all kind of person and ways to deal with them please help . I love her . But she can;t promise me that she wont stop beating me but she will try . When angry she dont feel sad how she beats me and says I deserve it . Well if I leave her she will blame me that I took her virginity and all other stuffs . I am badly confused and thinking to end my life

well she is chinese and I am an Indian . Language is not the major problem here

what is more worse is that she bites herself after she hits me . If I show her look what did you do to me . She will start hurting herself and if I try to protect myself she will consider it as I beat her . Ultimately she wants me to play cute with her when she says sorry . She waits in front of my dorm waiting to see me but I dont do it .After she hits me . My legs are swollen still . But she is keep on saying that she loves me and I am everything to her . I am very very confused please help help . Are there any food that will make her calm down . I need help badly

Answer 1

OK. I beat my man too when I get really mad at him. The man who is my husband is the one who wrote the novel up there to answer your question. I beat him because no matter how I try to tell him something, he doesn't even listen to me and cut me off continuously. You said when you try to make her laugh she is fine. I'm not sure the exact reason why she beats you, but in my case I cannot think any other ways to make him listen. Well he listens when I beat him because he is very desperate to make me calm. So it works. Trust me. I am not abusive or anything. I have never raised my hand to anybody else other than my husband, and when we decide to have a child (or children), I will never beat him or her! I will explain why it is bad to my kids until they understand. I am very patient with kids and basically any human beings. But I guess my husband is not a human and sometimes doesn't understand what I'm trying to say or he is too busy cutting me off to listen to me for a second. My advice to you is not only listen but also understand what really she is trying to say. Sometime women don't say things straight. For your information, my husband get beaten usually the day that he didn't give me XXX. So, find real reason behind. Women including me do not like to admit something like this as well, but sometime it is very simple what bothers us.

Answer 2

I am not sure how she was raised but to beat on anyone is just wrong, and it is her problem not yours and you cannot fix it only she can,All I can suggest is that you ask her to get help with the mental problems and that you will support her, Also you might go to a councillor, to find you why you are accepting being in an abusive relationship. You are not a bad man and do not deserve this kind of treatment, so you need to look at your thinking as well. Weather you stay or go you still need help

Answer 3

RUN, do not stroll, out of there! it is not significant in spite of if the guy doing the thrashing is a guy or a female, the reality keeps to be that without some severe therapy, an abuser won't end and could often get even worse. What she feels for you isn't actual love. actual love would not beat somebody up for minor stuff. actual love would not make you terrified of them. you do not should be abused. no person merits to be abused. Get OUT of that relationship. Get some therapy to assist take care of the wear and tear. And if necessary, record a restraining order (in the event that they have such issues the place you're) or call the police if she shows up and tries beating you returned.

Answer 4

It sounds like she has major problems. I know that in the past I have gotten violent with ex boyfriends but only when I was drunk. I've thrown things at them mostly. I've done that a few times even to my own husband...sometimes my husband gets in my face when I'm angry and he'll taunt me or mock me...so I slap him.....I wouldn't call it beating but I have a temper though but of course I love him very much and I rarely do it but it's still not right either way you look at it. Drunk or not it's not right. Maybe if it's such a big problem you should seek counseling....if she's worth it to you maybe you should ask her to go to a counselor with you. If she really loves you she'd be willing to do that for you. If she doesn't want to better herself for you then I would say get out of that unhealthy relationship and don't end your life. It's not your fault what she is doing. No one deserves that. Good Luck

Answer 5

I know you say you love her but if she is abusing you then you should call it quits. Violence is not love. I stayed in such a relation for too long myself and now i do well just to be a friend. I do not think either a man or woman deserves to be abused. You needs to seek counseling. You need to find a new and better life, Even if an abuser stops hitting you then they will start with mental abuse. I loved someone like that. Even if you still care you have to learn to be strong enough to walk away. After i told him he better not hit me again that i would come after him even in his sleep if he did-he kept on with the mental abuse until i became a very happy divorced woman. I find it hard to trust now because of this. Although i try to be a friend i even try to keep my distance even in friendship. Wake up and walk away and be happy. It is better to be lonely then to be hurt. Good Luck. Do not end your life-haven't you already been hurt badly enough?

Answer 6

You need to press charges against her and she needs to get mental help. The physical abuse you are taking is no different than abuse women get from men. Perhaps a women's shelter can direct you to a support group, ask them. You are not the only man who is physically abused by a women but you have to ask yourself why? Do you not have enough respect for yourself? You say you love her but I can't say she feels the same way about you. She has no respect for you, she has mental problems and you are going to ruin your life if you stay with her. The more abuse you take the less self worth you have for yourself, You will look like a beaten and battered man in a few years and no woman will want you.
She has to want to get help for herself, you can't do it for her. Even though it will hurt you need to break off your relationship. Do yourself AND HER a favor, insist that she get help or you will never see her again. You need to take the "tough love" approach and press charges against her for "assault and battery" and let her sit in a jail for a few days. Maybe it will wake her up! Otherwise, she will continue to do what she is doing to some other man.

Answer 7

First of all don't ever, ever end your life for any reason, let alone over a relationship situation. Life is beautiful and abundant, if you want to breathe you simply open your lungs and as much air as you wish will come in, if you want another person to have a relationship with there are approx 6 billion people on this earth. Now for your question, most people in this world have been in a relationship that they may not wanted to be in, or in a relationship that they wanted to be in but for whatever reason couldn't make it work, that’s what relationships are, they change. As you change in life so will your relationships, what did you think of your mother or guardian when you were only 5, how about 10, how about your age now, do you still feel the same way towards as you did when you were five probably not, that’s because you are different now then you were when you were 5. Are you friends with everyone that you were childhood friends with? Again probably not, as you change so will your relationship with your family, so will your friends, and so will your lover, unless they change with and grow with you, you will grow apart. Now every relationship is different, no one can tell what’s right or wrong in your relationship, you have to tell yourself. You have to ask yourself, do you like getting beaten by her, do you like getting blamed for taking her virginity, if you do than good, if you don't you need to change your relationship, you either have to change her, or change yourself. I promise you, you can never change her unless she feels it beneficial for her to change, and it is very very difficult to change other people. Or just change yourself, either deal with her, or leave and find someone else to share your life with. Again there are more than 6,000,000,000 people in this world if you date .00001% of the them, that would be 60,000 do you think you can find at least one woman out of that 60,000, I think so.Love your relationships, especially the one with yourself, love yourself, don't change the people around you, You shouldn't try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and it annoys the pig. Just grow and change yourself, find another path in your journey of life.

Good luck and Be strong!

Answer 8

Try seeing a councelor with her. Sometimes, they can help to solve problems like this. However, although you may love her very much, she still has absolutly no right to beat you. What you describe sounds as if she can be very manipulative and is making you blame yourself. No matter what: this is not your fault. I know you feel depressed now, and as if your life has no meaning, but please do not hurt yourself. Go to a councelor, and if her problem cannot be solved, I would suggest breaking up with her. I know it can be very difficult to make such a decision, but once you are out of a bad relationship, you see much more clearly than when you are in the thick of it.

Answer 9

When someone physically abuses you, it's not a sign of love. Accepting the abuse from someone and thinking that they love you is unhealthy.

I am not going to advise you to help her. I am going to tell you that you need help and that you need to get away from her. You need to understand that allowing her to beat you physically is damaging to you physically and emotionally. You need help building self-esteem. Honestly, what happens to her isn't important; she will find someone else to beat up on if she doesn't have you. If her beatings get worse she could kill you.

Stop trying to figure out what to do to make her happy. Start asking yourself why you want to be with someone who treats you so poorly. You would be better off alone than with her. She is not going to change.

I understand that virginity is highly regarded in Eastern cultures, but do you really care if she blames you for that?

Let me be blunt: She is kicking your *** and could possibly kill you...and you're right- language is not the major problem here.

Answer 10

well... turn into a man for 1. If she beats you... she doesn't love you. You are being very STUPID for thinking about ending your life over some stupid girl that gets off on violence. If you have tried to help her and she won't stop then I don't see that there is anythink you can do. If you look at it all... if you do break up with her... whats the MOST she can do to you? Say stuff... "Sticks and stones my hurt my bones but words will never hurt me". You will not be the first person to have sex with a girl then break up with them. I know that it might be hard to do things since you love her, but you have to look out for yourself as well.