I don't like to call it rules...
I just mean things that you don't want the other person doing.
I understand there is a fine line between wanting boundaries and being controlling and I know it does depend on the people in the relationship.
but, if you don't have 'boundaries' then you will have too much freedom and it'd be hard to maintain the relationship, correct?
2007-01-16 05:15:29 · 10 answers · asked by twylatimestwo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Rules, I don't think is a form of controlling someone.
It's just something you do or do not want the person to do and if they agree to doing that, then that's that. It's practically a rule.
2007-01-16 05:22:43 · update #1
I think you are very correct in wanting to establish boundaries. That is not being controlling unless you start making very strict do's and don'ts. Wouldn't you rather have boundaries known to both people in the relationship ahead of time? Its better than never discussing your feelings and commitment until after a boundary is obliterated and someone ends up getting hurt. As long as rules aren't interfering with you or your partner's ability to maintain a sense of individuality, I do not see anything wrong with having a few rules you both consent to. Its not as if these rules are engraved in stone. If a situation arises where a rule needs or wants to be broken you will both be able to discuss it. As cliche as it sounds, communication really is key. And boundaries or rules are just another form of communication.
2007-01-16 05:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by Legolas' Lover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boundaries work best, not rules. If they are like no sleeping with someone else. I'm sorry that that even became a rule because that was the understading to having a relationship. Stuff like, you can't go anywhere without me is upsurd.
2007-01-16 05:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by Linz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some things are unwritten rules but some need to be expressed and talked about openly with the other person rules are not only not wrong they're a very helpful thing to any relationship they are needed and they help both individuals understand what the other wants out of the relationship
2007-01-16 05:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the rules are consensual there is no problem. If you're trying to be controlling, there is an issue, but if you both agree on the rule, it's fair game.
2007-01-16 05:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by brown_iyed_grrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree. for example- i think if you know your partner can get outta control sometimes when they drink, you may set up a rule that they can only have 3 beers, or only drink when with a certain group of people. not because you want to tell them what to do or who to hang with, but cause youre concerned about them and maybe you only trust a few people to keep her safe.
2007-01-16 05:23:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes there needs to be boundaries in order for a healthy relationship to work... there needs to be individual boundaries and there need to be relationship boundaries and this has nothing to do with control but in order for a relationship to work both have to have limits :) :) :)
2007-01-16 05:23:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong just dont push it. rules can either help or hurt it depends on how much you are wanting out of a relationship
2007-01-16 05:19:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the rules aren't extremely outrageous, no.
It's just not a relationship if you let your partner bang other people and what not.
2007-01-16 05:21:11 · answer #8 · answered by omgitsafish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there should be rules of ethics in relationships,like households,schools,workplace ect...otherwise we become barbarians. You are absulutely correct.
2007-01-16 05:26:25 · answer #9 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rules? Isn't that a form of controling someone?
2007-01-16 05:19:16 · answer #10 · answered by Augustine S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋