an 8 year old girl,and a 6 year old boy,and they don't have a father figure,cause they're dad left before my son was born,and the other male figure they have is my dad,and brothers.They calls my bf daddy,even though it's not his.What should I do?
2007-01-16 04:59:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If he is acting as the father -figure there isnt anything wrong with it unless you dont plan to stay with him, or he has not dedicated himself to the children if he plans to leave. The more men that come in and out of your life the harded for the kids to recognize the TRUE father. If your having a fling or not serious its best to have them call him by his name. Otherwise when he goes its going to break the hearts of the children and cause mistrust and resentment with the next male that enters.
2007-01-16 05:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by I luv Pets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are obviously very attatched to your BF. So think about how devastating it would be if you broke up.. Is your BF comfortable with this? If so, let it be unless you are uncomfortable with it! I am a step-mom of my hubby's 2 children. They were 5 and 1 years od when I first moved in. The mother is still in their lives but barely and they have called me Mom for a long time. I take care of them and raise them as if they were my own. (huuby has full custody) But I just simply explained to the kids that I wanted them to call me watever they were comfortable with.. Don't ever push your kids to call someone dad or mom! It's very confusing.
2007-01-16 09:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by onfire921 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think it is to soon for that they are old enough to be corrected and explained why. When you have been together much longer or I think even IF you get married then and only then would it be OK. You have to think about the emotional part for them if you don't stay together. They can really really like him , but once the daddy has been attached it's a different attachment. If you do break up it will be like losing another father.
2007-01-16 05:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should check this guy out a little bit, if he is nice don't worry about it. He just feels sorry for the kids cause there father left and if you like this guy enough, I suggest marrying him so the kids will have another father. So make sure he is safe, if he is don't worry, he's just trying to help.
Good Luck! The Children Specialist
2007-01-20 04:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how does he feel about them calling him daddy? You should talk with him about it so that they both of you may sit down with your children and discuss the topic at hand. If the both of you are in love and plan on getting married then thats great because he can adopt them then he really will be their daddy. If not then you need to sit down with your kids and say "this is momy's friend and he cares about you very very much but he is not your daddy so maybe you should call him by his name."
Good Luck!
2007-01-16 05:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-24 21:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by schifano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you need to talk over future plans with this man...is he planning on marrying you? i think its a lil late to tell your children that they cannot call this man father.i have a child by someone who doesnt care much for his daughter and i met my boyfriend almost 2 years ago and we are about to have our second child together which would make 3 altogether... when my daughter met him she immediately called him daddy and i didnt have a problem with it and neither did he...he loved her from the start and treats her as his own...now i just pray that this man who is allowing your children to call him daddy just doesnt think its a cute thing to do and actually is taking it serious.my daughter knows she has two fathers i let her know about her biological father...i think maybe it would be good to explain to your children if you havnt already that they have two fathers...if they ask where the other one is you will have to figure out a way to explain it to them to where they dont feel like it is something about them that made him not be around.hope i helped i think its great for another man to step in a take over being a father for someone who didnt want the privledge but just make sure he knows its more then just a word to these children.
2007-01-16 05:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by your1fool 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them call him that. My sister in law's little girl calls my sister in law'sboyfriend daddy and everyone let's her. He's the only male figure in her life besides her grandpa and her uncle (my husband). He's been there for a while and he's been really good to her and her sister. I think that if he's good to your children then let them call him daddy. It's good for kids to have a father figure in their lives. You don't have to marry him in order for them to call him daddy. As long as he's good to them and wants them to call him that and doesn't mind it then there's nothing wrong with that. You should be happy that your boyfriend is a good man toward them and you should be happy that your children feel comforable enough to consider them their daddy. Remeber any man can be a father but it takes a special man to be a daddy.
2007-01-16 05:11:31 · answer #8 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's okay with them calling him daddy, I don't see the problem.
I'd advise against using that as leverage to get him to marry you, though. My dad eventually admitted that he was more in love with the idea of being a dad than he was of being a husband, and that's a big chunk of why my folks split after my brother and I were big enough to more or less take care of ourselves.
2007-01-16 05:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know he is going to be there to raise them and love them like his own then he deserves to be called dad and won't mind being called dad since he's acting like one. I have 3 kids by another man and it was very difficult to accept it when they started calling my bf dad because i knew it would be traumatic for them if we ever split up. But I realized he loves them and takes care of them and would never leave us so I am very thankful they now have a good male figure in their life.
2007-01-16 05:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by ColeBaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋