I am in a strange problem . If I am little harse in my voice or angry for something and talk little strange to her or ignored her anger I get beaten up badly by her . She keeps on doing that for almost one year .She beats me up but I am still with her hoping I will find something to change her but nothing did . When she beats me if I dont repky in anger and just try to make her laugh she is fine but if not I am badly beaten up by her . Please please and please advisse me to help her . Some thing that I can do to deal with this type of person I guess there is all kind of person and ways to deal with them please help . I love her . But she can;t promise me that she wont stop beating me but she will try . When angry she dont feel sad how she beats me and says I deserve it . Well if I leave her she will blame me that I took her virginity and all other stuffs . I am badly confused and thinking to end my life
2007-01-16 04:48:40 · 25 answers · asked by Thinking 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well she is chinese and I am an Indian . Language is not the major problem here while we both communicate in english and pretty good at it to talk with each other . Before I left the pain she was giving me and thinking to marry her but now as she dont stop the abusive behavior I am on edge to change that should I be with her or not . It effecting my studies and everything . Above all her anger can destroy any thing that we bought or something that she recently brought . Umbrellas are like endless we bought many and when she is angry she will break sometimes I gone crazy too from her . She cries and hits herself and bite herself too . This is where I being helpless she doesnt listen and never listened to me .
2007-01-16 05:14:40 · update #1
Hi. The most common scenario is for the guy to beat the girl and it is rare that we hear that a girl beats a guy. You said this has been going on for a year with no improvement. If you really feel like you can't survive any longer then get out of the relationship. But if you think that it can still be save then try to work at it. Try to get your girlfriend help. So some sort of couples counseling that can bring you two together. You say you love her but do you think she loves you. Or maybe she has a problem that has been pestering her and you don't know about. Sit down and put your relationship in perspective and analyze if this is the best for you both. You'd be surprise maybe you can understand what is wrong with each other and find the faults in both of you. You both make this relationship and have a part of blame. Ending one's life is not the answer to this problem, but communication is. Be fair to each other and think hard on what would really make you happy.
2007-01-16 05:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by bookworm7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN, don't walk, out of there! It doesn't matter whether the person doing the beating is a man or a woman, the fact remains that without some serious therapy, an abuser WILL NOT STOP and will usually get even worse.
What she feels for you is not real love. Real love doesn't beat someone up for minor stuff. Real love doesn't make you scared of them.
You do NOT deserve to be abused. NO ONE deserves to be abused. Get OUT of that relationship. Get some therapy to help deal with the damage. And if necessary, file a restraining order (if they have such things where you are) or call the police if she shows up and tries beating you again.
2007-01-16 04:58:08 · answer #2 · answered by triviatm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't mean to be totally unfeeling but either you lie, are a player, have a poor memory, or are just plain stupid so I don't think there is help here for you.
Four months ago you wrote about a Chinese girlfriend that you so wanted to get married to but couldn't figure out how to make it work because of both your families, more recently you wrote about other relationship issues not related to this one but now you indicate you are thinking to end your life over this beaten wife complex to this person you supposedly have been suffering with for a year!
You don't need to end your life, you need to get one. Don't waste peoples time who actually might want to help you when you can't even give a consistent story!
2007-01-16 05:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by MtnManInMT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit thinking that way, you cannot end your life because a female has issues with violence.
you are better to leave her honey, you don't deserve to take her abuse! so what that you took her virginity, that is not a reason to stay in a relationship where you are abused...go off to college and find a real girl to satisfy your life and you will see that the year you have spent with this female was a waste...
she doesn't love you if she beats you, i would tell a female the same thing if she was being hit by her man.
2007-01-16 04:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by **Lil QT** 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this before and yes she can love you. Sometimes you can hate someone as much as you love them. I like to think that if 5 out of 7 days are good than it's not that bad. But being hit is not good at all. She might have a mental illness that can be helped. I think people are only treated as they allow themselves to be treated. Do not let her guilt you into staying. Leave ASAP if you worth loosing she will get help to try to change. Pick and choose your battles safely. Do not end your life if you love her or yourself this is not the answer. It is NEVER an answer. Please consider what I said.
2007-01-16 04:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ailyx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not, I repeat do not end your life. She is the one with emotional problems. You can't give her a choice like "Hit me again and I'm leaving" because she will. You deserve better. You love her and she loves and hates you. She is on that thin line and it sounds like she willing to use blackmail to keep her punching bag. When she gets angry ask her if it's you she really is mad at. More than likely she'll lie and say yes. My guess is that she was beaten as a young child by a male figure and she'll take it out on any man in her life.
2007-01-16 04:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by Linz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can she beat you and love you? Yes, she can. Face it, many women have been on the receiving end of the abuse in an abusive relationship and the abusive man usually says he beats her because he loves her. I think it's B.S. but to each his on. If you love her and she loves you seek counseling. If that doesn't work get to stepping because once you become immune to her hitting, kicking, etc. She'll start picking up items to beat you senseless. Don't fall for the guilt trip either. If you didn't rape her, you didn't take her virginity, she gave it to you. If she loved you enough to give you something so special she should love you enough to seek help. The easiet things to do would be to beat her in retaliation or "take your life". Don't take the easy way out. I have yet to find any nana work killing myself over. Seek help and if help isn't an option - get to stepping!!! Good Luck.
2007-01-16 05:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET THE H.ELL AWAY FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is abusive and you need to know that you deserve better then this... She is a very sick woman and no she does not love you... Her aim is all about control and real love is pure.. you need to as of even right this minute leave and go to the police station and file a report on her and then she can maybe get help through therepy... you have to get away from her before she goes to far and kills you, please if anything talk to your mother or someone thats close to you and if you have to go to a homeless shelter but you can't stay there and there is nothing you can do to help her... you need to get out of there :) :) :)
2007-01-16 04:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to go to counselling and you can go with her if she'll go to get help to find out why she is so angry inside that she needs to abuse you* NO ONE DESERVES to be beaten up ever let alone often*
If she doesn't want help.......YOU NEED TO LEAVE HER and let her family know that she needs help*
No one is ever worth wanting to kill yourself over* You are confused and scared because you know this is wrong and you see how she can get when she's angry...but if she doesn't want the help you offer to go with her to counselling....then for your own good..YOU NEED TO LEAVE* She can say all she wants about you taking her virginity...It takes 2 to tango...You deserve better, you deserve to be HAPPY* do you even remember what "Happiness" is??? Get out while you can* Do Not Let Her run you down into the ground like a piece of trash that she can use and abuse* You are WORTH MUCH MORE THAN THAT*
GoodLUck To YOU*
2007-01-16 04:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is domestic abuse it goes both ways, man or woman. You are a gentleman you know your strenght,if you hit her back she is a gonner.You only live once,don't let any one disrestpect you. Go to marriage councilor, victims of abusive wife/husband have the symtoms like you,their mind become weak.Will it be the end of your life if you live her and she blame you that you took her virginity and stuff ?I hope your answer is NO, if your answer is YES ,you are a dead man walking.
2007-01-16 05:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋