My 4 yr old daught?

Question

I need some advice on myh 4 yr old daughter. When I tell her to do something or I get on to her for making bad choices she screams at me. She also says your not my mommy anymore. Now when it comes to her father if he gets on her she listens. You need to know that she lives with me and not him. He also only sees the kids like once a week or every two weeks. He doesn't see them every day. What can I do to get her to stop doing that? She also tells me no and that she is going to tell daddy. It just drives me crazy that I always have to be the bad guy. Please help.

Answer 1

You need to check out the book 1, 2, 3 magic...this sounds just like my daughter...

another thing is you can not get mad, just calmly repeat what you have asked her todo. If she says that you are not her mommy tell her that you are sorry she feels that way right now, but you still love her. In the book I mentioned above it teaches you that, children sometimes do things just because they see it makes you mad. One of the many ways they can get away with stuff. If you are firm and do not give in she will learn to listen the first time or continue to hear you repeat yourself calmly, and that gets boring...also if you can...calmly talk with her father and explain that you still need to parent together...maybe if he can not help you out, ask him to not see her for awhile. (sorry, I hate to say that, but you need to be in charge and make rules that she will follow through out her life) If it helps maybe talk with him over the phone(and later with her beside you)...about rules you would like her to follow, ask his advise if you find you have a lot of rules...maybe you are asking to much of her? you are trying to fight all the battles and not picking your battles wisely? Does that make sense. Earlier I tried to help a lady whose daughter would singing, smile or whislte when given a punishment (time-out for pushing a sibling)...so on top of sitting the child would get a punishment for singing, then for smiling, then for whislting...do you see where this is going? picking your battles, what is more important to you...the child is being punished for pushing a sibling, or smiling? If the child is sitting they are serving their time-out. If they get up from the time-out you gentley place them back and say you are on a time-out.(you may need to repeat this 50 times...but you can do it calmly and unemotionaly) Make sense...in that book it will help you out a little better.

Try to find and praise her for the good things she does...some children act out because they want your attention...I know you can not give it to them every minute...if you are a busy person set aside 10-15 min. just to her, read a book, talk about the day, listen to what she has to say ask her questions about it.

With my daughter we put her to work, setting the table, telling daddy it is time to eat, finding the butter or milk, and clearing the table putting away the dishes, rinsing the dishes...include your children in everyday things this is what teaches us to show we care. My daughter and I take 15 min. right before bed and snuggle and talk about the day. She acts out a lot less.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

You need to talk to her father and let him know this is going on. If he's a good Dad he'll handle it on his end because regardless of whether or not you are together, you both need to present a united front to your daughter. My daughter is 5 yrs. old and her father and I are still together, but she also does that too. He always makes sure to let her know she has to listen to me as well and it has helped. A lot of it is her age, my 8 yr. old went through it as well and stopped around 6 yrs. old. Hang in there!

Answer 3

i think that you should sit your daughter down and ask her simple questions about why she might be doing this i no she only 4 but you would be suprised at what they keep to them self and here and see. tell her you love her and it upsets you when she says them things. i would also speak to her father and see if he has noticed anythins worring her or if she has said anything to him. or all this just could be her age. i have a particually difficalt 5 year old i really struggle with her behaviour. bad choises is just somethin a child that age does iam afraid a child that age dont fully understand what makeing a choise is or if its good or bad i hope i have been of some help

Answer 4

The next time she is around her daddy, make her tell him. It worked with my 6 yr old. They try to do that when they go back and forth and it is up to both of you to stop it. But she is only 4 and that is typical.

Answer 5

call the police - in the beginning, ADHD isn't a incapacity that permits a newborn to not notice of what they're doing or their surrounding. they're very conscious and a variety of of the time extremely clever. in case you do not checklist it then I hate to assert this, what variety of mom are you?? Stepson or not, he has already destroyed this little female except she gets into some variety of counseling which might might desire to be intiated by you! React by notifying the right authories and combating this from happening to a different youthful female or newborn. that's now on your hands.. what are you going to do with that coaching? enable it slide.. come on... he's 14! He is conscious extra advantageous. ADHD is a interest deficit hyperactivity affliction not gentle psychological RETARDATION which might account for area of his habit - nope he's clinically determined with an interest affliction which isn't suitable to sexual habit. maximum possibly the stepson is vendors to sexually molesting or touching from a private journey himself or he's on the direction to being a predator. Do the the terrific option element for you kin and get the stepson help and get your loved ones some help - this will possibly not get extra advantageous by itself - in case you leave it on my own then that's going to cling interior the room like a huge elephant for years and your daughter heavily isn't an analogous. 4 3 hundred and sixty 5 days olds keep in mind issues 10 and two decades down the line - how will she experience then understanding what befell, understanding you knew and did not do something approximately it?? I choose you the terrific success - notify the right authories and end yet another little female from being sexually molested.

Answer 6

lol, Mom, keep doing what your doing. There really isn't anyway around it. Toddlers are so hard to understand, they are egotistic and very sensitive. Just keep loving her. Keep disciplining her, she'll grow out of it. This is only a stage, my son was the same way. He only saw his father every few months, but he grew out of it, and your beautiful daughter will grow out of it too.

Answer 7

Hand me a paddle I am in the same boat with ya. But I tell her I am you mom and I love you just the same. Mine will listen to EVERYONE but me 95% of the time. BUT expects me to understand and listen 100% of the time. Its a stage I hope. GOod LUCK

Answer 8

You need to make sure he is not telling her stuff.. She had to learn that from somewhere... Just tell her you will always be her mommy and you love her so much but you want her to make the right decisions!!!

Answer 9

first off I have had this problem myself..go down to her level..and make her look you in the face..dont use a harsh tone.use your normal tone..dont forget to praise her for what she does "right"...or a child will act out..good luck

Answer 10

Praise her when she is good and does something right. You are putting too much attention on what she does wrong.