My boyfriend dated someone seriously when I was pregnant. I can't help but wonder and want details of the relationship. He gets angry and threatens to break up everytime I ask. He says now that he can't remember details, and it does not matter. Its been 8 months, and I can't get over it. Its got to the point where the only thing we can communicate about is the past and the baby. How do I forgive and forget?
2007-01-16 04:14:33 · 26 answers · asked by Andee21 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Make a decision not based on what you feel like discussing, but what's going to benefit your baby. You aren't married, and your relationship is on the skids-- is this the right environment to raise a child in? If not, stop it. He cheated, you decided to take him back. Now you can decide to stop polluting your life with your nagging. It's not a matter of forgiving/forgetting right now- it's a matter of stopping your nagging and communicating about other things. Every time you want to drag it up again, keep your mouth closed. If it bothers you, too bad. Your baby isn't interested in who the guy had sex with, your baby only cares about having 2 loving, calm, stable parents. It's not about you anymore.
2007-01-16 04:25:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't forget and time will allow you to forgive. If you can't stop dwelling on it and bringing it up you're going to continue having problems in your relationship. It sounds like you still may not trust him. Which is understandable. Counseling may help, and it may not but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. And...do you really want to know the details? If you're dwelling on things now the details just may make it worse. Then you'll be questioning why he did this with her and not with you, etc...
2007-01-16 04:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by slp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A broken/torn heart is hard to heal...It must be horrible knowing your boyfriend was seriously involved with another woman especially when you were pregnant. It has been 8months...but still feels like yesterday. I would suggest you either forgive and try to forget but it seems like you've tried that for months and it's not working......He is still with you* and your child* so that's a good sign*
If you don't seem like you can get past this and it may end your relationship with him altogether, perhaps youshould try seeking counselling to sort through your feelings/emotions/anger...if not...then sorry to say..your relationship wont last too long. If HE's Worth it......then you know what you have to do*
GOODLUCK*
2007-01-16 04:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can forgive but you wont forget. its hard to get through something like this because trust has been broken. you to need to get back to the roots of your relationship and start over. rebuild the trust. work together. and be honest no matter what your talking about. if it is real love he will be paitant with you in the rebuilding process. if not he will leave and you will be on your own. but take heart. there is someone out there for everyone. hopefully if u to cant fix it he will still be a good father.
2007-01-16 04:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you will never forget, and it is going to be very hard to forgive if you don't trust him. You need to determine if you can ever trust him again, and if he's worthy of your trust. Most of the time, when someone cheats, its because they're missing something in their relationship. Communication is very important. If you feel you can't talk to him about it, it's time to let go and take care of yourself (and your baby) for a while. I'm sure you have other people around who love you (friends, family) who will support you when you need it. You don't need extra drama!
2007-01-16 04:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by Meghan M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are really in a healthy relationship but I can remember things about girls I dated for years let alone 8 months? I would be curious as to why you think you trust him and what you think you are going to learn that would make a difference? Sounds like its is time to move on with your life, good luck!
2007-01-16 04:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by utahbugtussel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the one who should be sensitive to the insecurities that he created in you. If he really wants your relationship to work, then he needs to work extra hard to prove to you that he will never cheat again. Shame on him that he has led you to believe that this is "Your" problem and that you are the one who has to "get over it!"
This is HIS PROBLEM that HE CREATED and if he wants to fix it then he is going to have to work OVERTIME to help you build your confidence back up again.
Please find a Bible believing church in your area and seek counseling. You both need healing! -----God loves you dear! Take care of yourself, if for your child's sake alone. You need your heart healed so you can feel joy again and be the best mommy you can be to your little one.
PS Dear, if he is hurting you mentally and or physically, GET OUT NOW! There is assistance you can receive and though it might be tough now, in the long run... You will have your dignity! Besides, if he is half the creep as you describe here, nail him for some killer child support and get on with your life (lives-yours and your babies)!
2007-01-16 05:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by NONAME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard thing to forgive or forget. Trust is SO important in a relationship. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean you have to stay with him, especially if he is a cheater. You deserve better.
2007-01-16 04:19:10 · answer #8 · answered by GirlsRGamers2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you pregnant with his baby? and if you are , you totally deserve to know the details of this other relationship. if this other girl had any vd's or anything like that, is something you should be told. and also, if this jerk off is threatening to dump you, while you're pregnant with his baby, for asking these questions, he must be a real piece of trash. do yourself a favor and leave him, because it's not going to get better.
2007-01-16 04:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry but that is not something that you can ever forget. im surprised you can even think about forgiving him. you need to move on. the only way children learn is by seeing, and im sure you want your child to learn what a health relationship is, so kick him out and find someone that appreciates you and treats you and your child like gold.
2007-01-16 04:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋