Over the holiday break my husband told me he had found a drawing in my sons sleep pants that was XXX rated and of homosexual content. I spoke to my son about it and he said it was about a kid at school. I went into how it is not appropriate behavior and not for school. I asked him if he had any questions of sexual nature. I went on to tell him he could talk to and I understand he has alot of new feelings and changes going on and that he can come to me. I made him aware of how much trouble he could get into at school. Then today I get a call saying that a picture was found in his desk by another student. He was sent to the office given detention and I was called. I am so mortified I don't know how to act. Does anyone have any advice?
2007-01-16 03:58:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Ok, although you are handling it correctly, maybe he'd be a bit more comfortable talking to a male. I know it's hard talking to parents about things, and talking to the parent of the opposite sex may be a bit embarassing, no matter HOW well your relationship is. Let him know that you will explain ANYTHING, there is nothing to be ashamed of, and that the drawings need to stop, for his own good and such. Tell him that although he may or may not like the kid the drawing is about, it is really hurtfull to do things like the drawings. "how would he feel if any drawing of that subject were done about him?" He needs to get some things off his chest, questions and thoughts, just be there to support him and be honest about everything. it'll help your relationship in the end!
2007-01-16 04:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is no wonder today. With everything that kids are exposed to, at home, TV, Mall, everywhere. Kids are understanding the sexual nature of things earlier than ever.
It sounds like you were on the right path with him. You should also look very hard at your home life and see if you own any part of the problem. Do you let him watch tv or videos that aren't appropriate for him. Have you done the opposite and kept him so sheltered that he is starved for information. Have you taught him about the birds and bees?
This does not have to be a big problem. Part of it is a natural growing process. It is how you help him now and what path he takes from here that counts.
2007-01-16 04:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by ttpawpaw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son isn't having his sexual awakenings very delicately dealt with is he? All children are aware of sexuality to some degree. Just because there were drawings of a homosexual nature doesn't mean he will grow up to be gay. Try handling this without hysterical overtones, because like it or not, one day your little boy will be a fully grown man that has sex. And without making accusations, from what I've just read, you're more in danger of training him mentally that there is something very wrong with sex and that it will have terrible negative reception. Try a more understanding approach, and converse with him. Bear in mind this young man has already been hauled in front of the head teacher and I should think he's feeling humiliated enough already.
2007-01-16 04:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by mizzsquitz 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, pray, ask for support from your family and friends whom you trust. Its time to talk to your son. Sixth graders' worlds are all about sexual thoughts, experimentational curiousity and forming life long sexual personality. He's expressing his thoughts so it is time to STEER him in the direction you need him to go into. Talk talk talk to him and just when you think things have calmed down, continue to talk talk talk some more. Be sure to remove anything that may expose him to pornography, for example if he has a computer with the Internet or a TV with cable access, limit and monitor his use of that. Try not to make him feel ashamed so the communication opens, but do instill in him how upset and embarrassed his behavior has made the family feel. Remember to stay calm, I understand your disappointment and stress right now, really I do. All parents go through shocking discoveries with our Middle Schoolers, God help us. Hang in there. I wish you peace. Be strong and bold with him, but over all loving.
2007-01-16 04:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still dont have a child so I am not so experienced.However, I know sons love their moms more than anything else.And only telling that you are so sad about it may not be effective for a kid at 6th grade.You should show how sad you are.Yes you should cry while talking to him. This will surely make him realise how badly he made u sad. Then keep talkin to him drying your eyes and make him promise you that he will never do that again. He will probably promise you sincerely(well if he really loves you). Then offer him to go somewhere else together, like eating outside or somwhere he likes and show him how much you love him.
I hope that is helpful and your son is gonna be how u want to raise him
2007-01-16 04:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Bilge Khan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am 16 and I think that it is normal !
Pleaseeeeee leave him alone !
Just don't care about the things he did,cuz this is the changing time from a boy to a men,XXX things seem to be very attracted !
Let him explore that kool world for a while !
When the time is come,I am sure he 'll feel bad and he 'll change !
I am sure !!!
If u continue to avoid him from these XXX things,he can be self-love,He can leave home or causing super stress !!!
Believe me,maybe I am right !
2007-01-16 04:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by crystal_heart100 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say, homeschool him. You control the playdates and outtings that he attends and there is more supervision even during free time. There are many homeschool support groups that gather weekly for outtings or classes and you can find homeschool music/band/gym classes just like in school, but you, or a responsible adult, can supervise better than someone watching a huge group of kids.
2007-01-16 08:57:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're handling it the best way possible. The picture in his desk could have been from before you spoke to him.
2007-01-16 04:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by donkeehotay999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recommend u to talk about sex to your son... and why your son shouldn't spread these thing. Just tell him that stop drawing and say it in serious way....
2007-01-16 04:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jimmy N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at this age kids become interested in this being as you have already talked to him and warned him about it not being accepted at school you should show him you mean business and let dad discipline him
2007-01-16 04:06:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋