that didn't use any cuss words at all?
2007-01-16 03:56:05 · 24 answers · asked by dianabarff 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends and she was talking about this other girl that she thought was a total whore.
She says " I bet screwing her is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway!"
OH MY GOD!! it was sooooooo funny!!!
2007-01-16 04:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.
Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'
2007-01-16 12:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by Bill G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oooh, good question . . . I've made so many. I'll just use the first example I can think of:
GUY #1: (makes a lame attempt at an insult)
GUY #2: You know, your insults have no potency.
ME: Neither does the rest of you.
2007-01-16 12:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once I heard someone refer to an enemy as a c*m dumpster. Ouch.
The other I saw on the movie "Juice" -
Two young men were trading insults and the one told the other
"I could have been your daddy but the line was too long."
2007-01-16 12:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by YSIC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once i saw some teeangers staring at a young lady in a very short shorts as she strolled through the mall, then she looked them straight in the eyes and said:(in the nicest voice ever)
'Why don't you take a photo it might last longer"
2007-01-16 12:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by ayanagin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the person did not realize that they had been insulted. Whole books of very polite insults towards limited brain capacity, lack of good looks, etc. have been written. Here's are two samples:
When they were passing out GOOD LOOKS she thought they said BOOKS and she replied that she didn't want any.
When they were passing out BRAINS he thought they said TRAINS and he missed it.
2007-01-16 12:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of my favorites is "You're a poster child for retro-active abortion" simple and to the point without cussing.
2007-01-16 12:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best insult, isn't that an oxymoron? How can something be the best (good) and an insult (bad)?
2007-01-16 11:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this place getting my hair cut, and the hairdresser told me I had really nice hair, too bad I didn't have more of it. She was serious. I think they call that a left handed compliment.
2007-01-16 12:01:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jimmytheblade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once heard some guy call his friend a "menstrual cramp". I thought that was pretty funny.
2007-01-16 11:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋