I'm sure the question I'm about to ask has been asked a million times in a milliong different ways.?

Question

what do you do with a sixteen year old who drinks. Probably every weekend. Not falling down drunk, unless he's really good at hiding it. It seems he only has a little. Most of the times it's not that evident, it's more instinct that proof. Though he does admit he drinks. He says "I've worked hard at school all week, I deserve a few on weekends" That rationalization has a ring of an alcholic.Is there any steps to stop this. Driving license is just around the conor. Alcohlics on both sides of the familys, much afraid this is the path he is heading for. His answer is he has it under control and will never become an alcohlic becase it is a choise not an addiction.

Answer 1

He's already an alcoholic. Living in denial is a major symptom of alcoholism. The NEED to drink, whether he has it under control and only drinks on weekends or not, is a major sign of alcoholism. Alcoholism on both sides of the family indicates that he has been inadvertantly trained to behave like an alcoholic, even if he doesn't touch a drop. Get him to admit his problem and into counseling before it gets worse. I wish you both the best.

Answer 2

Its a dangerous path to start down. My ex was the same way when he was that age and by the time he was 18 he was a full flown alcoholic and that led to a drug addiciton. We eventually split up due to his addiciton to alcohol. He was able to kick the drugs for a little while but then he started using occasionally again when he was 24. With having alcoholism on both sides of the family he is even more at risk for becoming and alcoholic. I am the same way, both sets of grandparents alcoholics and my father is one. I take great pains to ensure that my drinking doesn't get out of hand. I only drink occassionally (maybe once a month) and then I only have a few. I wouldn't allow him to get his driver's license at 16 unless he can stop drinking. A DUI is not a fun charge(speaking from experience) but he could also hurt himself or someone else. What he is doing is against the law anyway. when he is 21 then he can say I've worked hard all week I deserve a couple.

Answer 3

Well Honey ! It doesn't matter how many times it's been asked. This is the 1 time that's important to you. I do think there is a very real chance of a problem in the making.
1/ Family members suffer from alcohol addiction and both sides, it increases his chance of becoming one. Actually for most people it's a choice to get drunk or not to. However because of his family back ground his system in the genes already has a sensitivity to alcohol like some are prone to asthma diabetes etc. It's all in the genes. It may not take much for him to become addicted.. No matter how much he thinks he can handle it. He's wrong maybe not right now but as he continues to drink and pressures of life mount he'll increase it and be none the wiser, until it takes hold.
My suggestion is.
Don't panic just yet, Don't pressure him too much over it just yet. He may close down , and take it elsewhere. However I would consider not allowing him to drive any vehicle or if possible even get his license until this situation has been sorted out and he's free of it for at least 6months.
Check out what advice ALA-Teen can provide.
They are the specialists in dealing with Teens sensitive to Alcohol. They may have some Teens his age who can guide him through this before he ends up like them. Give it a go see what they can do for you. I think your gut feeling is correct. Good luck to both of you. Ciao

Answer 4

Sorry, this is long. You say he admits to drinking, although not as much as you think he does. You do admit, too, that it is more suspicion than proof. I would get more proof before you start going off on him. Hear me out. According to labeling thoery, which I totally believe, if you treat a kid like a criminal, he/she will act like one. This is because, by treating them that way, they will distance themselves from you and will be more likely to associate with criminal people. Basically, they start to believe al the negative comments they hear and start to think things like, "well, I might as well do it because they're going to think I do it anyway" and "everyone is always calling me a bad kid, maybe I really am one." Let your parental decisions be guided by evidence, not paranoia (and I understand why you are paranoid, but be careful of how you act on these feelings). I know you are concerned, especially because of the family history, but, trust me, there are a great number of kids his age who get so drunk they throw up every weekend, drink over lunch at school, and get drunk on school nights, too. The thing that bothers me is that he thinks he is entitled to it, whereas a lot of kids do it to rebel because they know they shouldn't and do it to fit in. Has he learned the "entitlement" thing from his father or other close relative? I'm assuming not you, because if it was you, I wouldn't think you'd be so concerned about it. I think the best thing you can do is live by example, alcohol only in moderation and limit his time with alcoholic relatives when they are drinking. Remember, kids learn by example, good and bad. If his father is an alcoholic, that will be a problem. Good luck. My daughter, only child so far, isn't anywhere near that age yet, so the only experience I had with this was when I was a teenager (I'm 26 now). I didn't drink much, an occasional one or two, when I was in high school, and I think that's because I didn't see my parents drunk (I did see my dad drunk once or twice, but it was a very, very rare occasionk, like once every few years, and not until I was a little older, and I never saw my mom drunk). I knew they drank some, but rarely saw them have anything unless it was with a meal or at a cookout or party or something, but never just sitting at home, and they didn't keep alcohol in the fridge for me to see everytime it was opened. All the beer (not much) was kept in a spare fridge in the garage or at their lake property. I did drink quite a bit in college, but I grew out of it as soon as I got in the real world. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Go to AAA meetings with him. Yes, that will inconvenient for you, and initially he will fight it because he will be embarrassed. He is an alcoholic who is in denial.... just like all alcoholics. You realize, of course, that he can not be allowed to drive as long as his problem is allowed to continue. You cannot, in all good faith, expose other innocent people to his problem. You need to save their lives and his. But there's something else he is in a fog about... and it seems like you are sympathetic to this. He says he has been working hard all week at school. Well, YES!!! He is no exception to rule. This is what most peopke do all week... work hard. Work, and more work. Why does he expect the reward of drinking for that. This is why you need AAA... they can make that clear to him. Good luck.

Answer 6

I and my friends regularly drank at that age (sometimes really scary amounts). Some of them still drink regularly, but most of us now are just social, occasional or non drinkers. Don't pester him so much that he doesn't tell you how much/often he drinks. Be firm (make it clear that you don't approve) but supportive (don't make too big a deal of it).
Give him space to discover for himself that it's a bad idea to get plastered all the time. It's what most teenagers go through, a sort of right of passage.
If he's sensible, he'll get over it. If he's not then he has to discover for himself that he's gone down the wrong road.

Answer 7

Hes already an alcoholic....if you cant fess up to it you are hooked

Have him go to aa once and he'll see wheres hes headed, not a good path to go......

Answer 8

get him help now thats a huge problem. he does it because he is depressed about somthing and it makes him feel better. i was like that when i was younger and ended up in foster homes and programs. it will only get worse if you dont get help now. you will soon lose all control.

Answer 9

you are very wise and see things very clearlty..good for you....He is most likely a adict I seen it alot.Can he stop?Give him a ebsite or agree to trya meeting with him.Teens are acoholics too//Keep atching and helping before you see him in a coffin

Answer 10

He needs an intervention ASAP!!