shes in an abusive relationship, both physical adn mental, she refuses to leave him....i have no idea what to do, i need any and all advice.
2007-01-16 03:51:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be a friend for her, and be there when she needs you. You can't change her mind, she has to want to change. What is her reason for refusing to leave? He says he loves her? If thats it, it's bulls*it. is she scared she can't make it by herself? That's bullsh*t too. Keep trying to make her see that she will find someone to REALLY love her, and she can make it on her own. abuse isn't love.
2007-01-16 03:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by precious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have actually been there before. I had tried convincing her several times that she could do better. Then one day I tried asking her what would she do if my boyfriend was hitting me. Well she told me she would go to my boyfriend and see whats up and if that didn't work she would try talking me out of the relationship. And I said ok and what if I wouldn't listen? She told me she would keep trying for my best interest. And again I said ok then what? Would you eventually give up on me? After going on like this for who knows how long she finally told me she wants to leave, but she loves him and thinks he can change. I told her that love hurts and I will be there for her, but what will she do when one day he takes the abuse to far? Its better to hurt for a little while now than for the rest of her life. A week later he started chasing her with a knife, she came out fine and left him. One year later my friend got engaged to a nice guy and the guy she was with got thrown in jail. All in all keep on it, let her know you'll always be there. She may get sick of hearing it, but she needs to. Hopefully you'll get through to her, before something really bad happens. I'm sorry if this took to long for me to write I tried to make a long story short.
2007-01-16 04:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by Beautiful_nightmare 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything. She has to want to leave. For your mental health, it would probably be best to pull back from her a bit. Let her know that you'll always care about her and be there if she ever needs your help, but you can't stand to watch her let herself be abused.
I know it's a hard thing to do. I had to do it with my absolute best friend in high school. But the fact is, you can't force someone to change if they don't want to. And walking away from the situation hurt, but in the long run, it was better for me.
It may seem harsh to leave. But if the person is not willing to help themself, you should not hurt yourself on their behalf.
2007-01-16 03:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by Raising6Ducklings! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend is under 18 years old, you need to tell her family. If she is over 18, all you can do is encourage her to leave. You cannot make her no matter how frustrating it may be. If she is an adult, she has to make that decision. Encourage her to go to the police or her family to get away. She needs to file a restraining order against him.
2007-01-16 03:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by luvtheMarines! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tried to tell her she needs to leave and she doesn't. There's not much else you can do. You can't force her to leave. You did the best and all you can do is be there for her and let her know that no matter what you'll always be her friend.
2007-01-16 03:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she refuses to leave maybe she loves him to much but you have to make her listen to you make her realize she needs to get out while she still has her life I know it is going to be hard to tell her if she does not get out now she may end up losing her life but you gotta to do what you gotta do she might need to be scared straight both of you are in my prayers.
2007-01-16 03:57:13 · answer #6 · answered by Murders Princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot help. You telling her things will only keep her there longer, If you try to pull them apart she will hate you for it. She has to see who and what he is and decide to leave on her own continue to just be a friend and only offer advise if asked do not force your view. Let her see it on her own.
2007-01-16 04:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her family and the police, tell anyone who will listen, call a womens resource center, tell her doctor, tell anyone, How would you feel if she ended up dead and you did nothing... I know she won't listen to you but if she realized that she had more support and more people to help, this may change her mind, do what ever it takes......QUICK
2007-01-16 03:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Irish, she has to come that decision on her own. Just continue to give her helpful advice and be there for her as a friend.
2007-01-16 03:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing that you can do. All you can do is be her friend and let her know that you are there to help her get out when and if she is ever ready.
Sad - I know - but you can't force anyone to do anything that they don't want to do.
2007-01-16 03:54:25 · answer #10 · answered by lifesajoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋