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im 17 male and act like 21 ish but sometimes my age gets the better of me and i get really insecure and thats were my 26 year old fiance comes into it all she sometimes does stuff which can make me sad or insecure and i constantly say are you alright and it just annoys her then we argue i need a sure fire way to stop my insecurities. i also have really annoyed her soo much we live together how can i make it up to her please no emails saying buy her chocolates or flowers cos they wont work , i dont have much money just moving jobs at the moment pls someone be my guardian angel i can easily help other ppl in relationships but never mine .

2007-01-16 03:46:55 · 11 answers · asked by carl f 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

11 answers

You might want to sit her down and talk to her about what's making you insecure. Does she know that you feel this way, and if so, does she know what she's doing that's causing you to feel this way? If she knows and is doing it deliberately, then she might not be the best partner for you--you don't need someone who's deliberately going to make you feel bad about yourself. This sounds like an issue that needs to be resolved with a conversation if your relationship is to succeed (no fighting, accusing, or screaming; just a calm conversation) rather than something that can be glossed over with flowers or chocolate.

2007-01-16 03:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by athena1213 3 · 0 0

Well for one thing your 17 and she is 26. She is way more mature and she probably sees you as immature when you do certain things. If it's not working now, I would give marriage a second thought. Your 17! And by acting sad or insecure and annoying her by always asking if she is alright is proof that your not ready for marriage. It's a proven fact that women mature much faster then guys do but you only being 17 isn't helping. I hope it's a long engagement and I wish you luck!

2007-01-16 03:54:28 · answer #2 · answered by Lace 4 · 0 0

Hoo boy Carl. I wish there was a quick easy fix LIKE flowers. But relationships aren't that way.Insecurity is generally three things;based on another person,based on perceptions, and rooted in a self esteem issue.When these three team up, we can write an entire soap opera script in our heads that not based on fact! Maybe it's "she's too good for me/I'm not good enough for her so she must be planning to leave and last night she wasn't at work, she was plotting with her new man how to do it" The mind is an amazing thing capable of telling us all kinds of things and then convincing us it's true! Whatever leads to your insecurity, tell HER about it! Take her to a nice quiet restaurant, enjoy the meal FIRST, and then open up. Maybe even jot down some notes before hand because at least for me, if a girlfriend becomes upset/distressed while I'm trying to vent, I lose my train of thought.Think beforehand " Do I have anything REALLY to be insecure about" and if you do "Am I taking steps to solve it?" Do you love her? Does she love you? Are you homeless, unemployed, terminally ill? Then count your blessings, be grateful and stay OPEN in your communication!Say, " Honey, I know this sounds CRAZY, but I'm worried about you leaving me for Dirk at your office..." She'll probably say,"Sugar, I love you and besides, Dirk just got back together with his boyfriend..."
Good luck my friend and remember, like anything else worthwhile, relationships take WORK!

2007-01-16 04:13:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Dude, you're 17 living with a 26 year old woman, that's the first problem.

Relationships like this are great for just hooking up and phuckin one another from time to time but you don't have anything in common with this woman outside of sex and a couple of other things.

Secondly, give yourself some credit for bangin a 26 year old broad, but you gotta strt asking your self...what the phuck is wrong with her! C'mon...a 26 year old woman who chooses to live with a 17year old kid? She's not right in the head kid, that's why she's with a 17 year old kid. Eventually, she's going to find a new toy to play with and she's going to break your heart, what you're seeing now is the first signs of her becoming bored with you. There is nothing you can do to reverse this trend, just be happy you were able to hit it this long. You're a young guy...move on. If you like bangin older broads hey...that's your thing, go find another one.

2007-01-16 03:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by huckleberry 3 · 0 0

You're in over your head. You're way too young to be contemplating marriage right now. She is more mature than you and I guarantee that she will be the first to jump ship. I would break it off and find a girl your own age. May-December relationships only work when the "younger" has reached some sort of level of maturity. 17 year old males aren't going to fair well. Move on.

2007-01-16 03:53:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0 0

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2016-10-07 06:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by bugenhagen 4 · 0 0

Sit down and talk to her about your insecurities, get them out in the open. Then you need to look at yourself and figure out what is fueling them. You are the only one who can work this out for yourself. Try not to put them on your fiance, as it is not her problem, it is yours. She must love you very much to have said she would marry you, keep that in mind when you start feeling bad. As for making it up to her the best way is to work on being a stronger person for her.

2007-01-16 03:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by dlwderby 3 · 0 0

That is a big age difference and sorry to say it is always going to be an issue. She has to realize that she has way more experiences than you and she needs to give you some room. You two need to sit down and talk about what bothers you

2007-01-16 03:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0 0

stop bein a wimp. show up at her job in just a raincoat an take her out an give her some hot sex. or make her a candlelit dinner when she comes home.

2007-01-16 03:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

17 y/o with a 26y/o...... 1st, is that statutory....2nd, DUDE

2007-01-16 03:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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