how can i get my 21 month old son to sleep in his bed?!?

Question

my son just went in a toddler bed about 5 days ago, it is quite a low bed, he seemed ready for a bed (has slept in other peoples beds before) and was getting too big for his cot. he just wont go to sleep in it, he gets out straight away, ive tried just putting him back over and over again, but that didnt work and ive tried putting a stairgate on his door but he just screams for hours! the 1st two nights, i slept next to him til he fell asleep, then the past 3 nights, hes gone to sleep in our bed then we've put him in his once hes asleep. has anyone got any tips please?

Answer 1

lie next to his bed and every 10 mins move slighty further away. he knows your there and will get used to it. i saw this on supper nanny and it worked. im lucky my boy has always slept through. also found out a great way to make them eat veg, buy a rabbit¬ he would nevr eat fruit n veg before, now the rabbit does he does!!

Answer 2

Well hopefully you'll be pleased to know you're definitely not alone in this scenario.

I'm not promising this will work for everyone but it's worth trying a gradual process of teaching him to sleep on his own like a big boy.

What's important is that you stand firm whilst you are helping him adjust to the new routine and don't buckle to tears or tantrums no matter how tired you get!

I'm sure you already have a set bedtime routine of bath/book/bottle etc - so stick to that as much as possible so the only change is the new bed.

Initially, start with sitting on the bed with him or cuddling him to help him try to get to sleep. Once he seems to be happy with that, sit closer to the end of the bed and reassure him you won't leave him. Each day progress your distance a tiny little more - moving onto a chair beside the bed to a chair across the room towards the door and eventually move to standing outside the door for a time reassuring him you're just outside so you can keep an eye on him.

It sounds drawn out but if pleading/bribery/threats or telling him off don't work then this gradual method is a good way to teach him a new habit without breaking his existing routine.

Good luck and don't give up!!

PS! J Smith - with all due respect I'm sure you must have exceptionally bright children as I don't know many 21 month olds that can read!

Answer 3

Don't talk to him when he gets up. Pick him up or lead him by the hand and say "bed time" nothing else. Put him in his bed. If he gets out, do the same again and again. Do not give in to his demands and he will eventually realise that this is his bed and that he is not getting the attention he is craving. The most important thing you can do is leave the room. By you staying you are giving his cries attention. It will be hard work the first 2 nights but after that he'll be fine. Just hang in there - you can't have him sleeping with you when he's 14 - he has to go to his own bed at some time.

Maybe you could also endear him to his new bed by taking him with you on a shopping trip to buy a new pillowcase or duvet cover and he can choose the design he likes for his "new fabulous big boy bed". My little girl loves her big bed - she moved into it about the same age. We brought her with us when we bought it and she chose the one she liked. The great thing about them is that you no longer need baby monitors because if they're upset about something, they just come and get you.

Answer 4

I'm afraid this can't be achieved without some effort. You neeed a routine and a set process - but with patience you can probably crack it in a week. Unfortunately you might lose some sleep in the process.

Do you have a bed time routine, we always used a bath with songs and fun while getting fried then to bed for a book. This routine (what ever you chose) is important as it triggers set of steps in your child's mind which lead to sleep.

You might want to do some play or fun in his new bedroom, so that he feels comfortable there. At bedtime start your set routine. At the set point for bed then settle them down, soothingly, read a nice story and then explain that it is time to go to sleep. Settle them down, and say good night, lots of cubbles and kisses, tell them you are only downstairs then leave.

The first time they call/or get up, go up and repeat the process but with out too much fuss. Kisthem explain where you are, then leave.

The second time say It's time for sleep now, put them to bed, say goodnight and leave.

Every time from then on they get up, then just lead them back to bed no fusss, no explanation, and leave.

You need to have the determination to carry on with this. Don't give in.

The next night repeat the pre-bed routine, and repeat the process.

You will crack it by the end of the week.

Good luck.

Answer 5

My daughter is 18 months and she is sleeping in a toddler bed all ready at first it was hard she kept getting up and getting up!!!!!! I kept on putting her back and back it was not working at all. Until I bought her a night lamp, and a stuffed animal that she liked and I made her feel comfortable with what she liked!
It worked because the next night i put her into bed and she went right to sleep, and it has been like that ever since then!!!!

Answer 6

I have just gone through this with my 19 month old son. For two nights I went in every 5 minutes and put him back into bed. Even though he got straight back out I still walked out, closed the stair gate and went back 5 minutes later. It took two nights then he seemed to get the idea. He slept on the floor by the stair gate for over a week and i let him, just covered him over with a blanket and one night I went to check on him and he was asleep in his bed. The first two nights took 3 hours of relentless crying but you have to be really tough. I sat in my room crying with him! Just bear with it and he will sleep on the 2nd or 3rd night. Trust me, it works. Email me if you need some support.

Answer 7

With respect, you are clearly doing this all wrong.

He has no idea that his bed is now the one you bought for him if you are still permitting him to sleep in another bed.

What you need to do is put his name on the door of his room, in BIG letters, and also on his bed so that he can see that it is his 'property'.

Then, you need to do the same with your own room 'Mummy and Daddy's room'. BIG letters so he can see.

Then, make a little chart with the days of the week on it. When he is a good boy and sleeps in his own bed, be sure that the next morning you give him a little sticker that he can put next to his name with the appropriate day of the week.

Yes, I know he is young, and that he cannot read very well yet. BUT, the sooner you start this, the sooner you will sleep well too.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Hi, really hard trying to convince kids to stay in their own bed isn't it? I take it this is your first - well by the time you have three you will become a dab hand at this! My first child, also a boy, went through this. I would suggest that you do not make a big issue out of this he is merely finding it great that he can get out of bed himself and get up to mischief! I would suggest maybe going out shopping and get him a nice duvet cover/blanket that he picks himself for his 'big boy bed' and have a special teddy or toy for the bed that stays either on the bed/in his bedroom for bedtime (suggesting this because one of my children took their bed toy out and lost it - boy what a bother!). Read a story to him whilst he is in bed and then kiss and tuck him in and leave him. Keep returning to him and put him back to bed, give him another kiss, remind him it is his 'big boy bed' and this is where he sleeps now. Keep doing this without hardly talking to him/turning on the light and he will find it really boring because it does not get attention and he will soon get the hint and stay in bed. I would say dont get into bed with him - I had a friend who did this and still does it now her child is five! Remember praise is the key to getting kids to do what you want and so are star charts. Good luck.

Answer 9

look love do whatevers easily and makes the kids happy and secure, don't worry if little timmy down the road has been sleeping from 7 till 7 since he was born. All kids are different, let it be, and i can tell you now in a couple of years you will look back and wonder why you got yourself into such a state over it, but you will have a little lad who is confident and happy and secure! Who sleeps in his own bed! I have 4 kids and people always compliment me on my older 2 boys behaviour, and I used to lay in bed with them until they were asleep, as I am doing with my 4 yr old and my 1 yr old! In fact quite often my older boys will stay with my 4 yr old while she is going to sleep.while i get my 1
yr old to sleep. It just makes kids feel loved and lets face it they have proved all these supernanny techniques cause kids stress!!

Answer 10

Try making it fun to go to sleep. You could try reading or making a game out of it. I always fell asleep to my mother's singing. It was a calming effect. Teach him a song that he sings every night before he sleeps in HIS OWN bed, then keep the musical portion of the song playing in a nearby CD player on a low peaceful volume. Try old lullabies or something that has a piano or an acoustic guitar. My mom sang old hymns or the Winnie the pooh song. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 11

Don't let him scream for hours, this will only make him hate sleeping in there more. Try getting a CD player and make a deal with him. Tell him, do you want music or not? Then try playing something soft, like classical. Good Luck, this is not easy but if your persistent you should be able to get him out of your bed!