need advice please?

Question

my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years now.. we live together and everything is going great.. my parrents are finally starting to like him and welcome him more into their home. the only thing is he has 2 kids which i love..jayvier(5) and dessenya(6).my mother is aware of the situation but my father is not. he's a very serious strict man. i want him to know but i don't want to lose him. what should i do should i wait to tell him more or get this weight off my chest and deal with the consequences? helpp me.. ( by the way i'm 20yrs. old ) this is also hard becasue he still looks at me like his little girl. HELP !!

Answer 1

If a man loves you (your boyfriend), he should marry you and make you his wife. This is out of respect for you. Once you are a man's wife (not his live-in lover), your father will see you as a woman and not a little girl.

Answer 2

I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to think of what you are asking your parents to accept. The man is obviously older than you are. The kids could not possibly look to you for a mother figure, you are just too young. You would have had to be 14 to be the mother of the 6 year old. I don't think this relationship has a lot of substance. What's going to happen when you want a baby of your own? Your boyfriend is already supporting 2 children, can he afford another one? You need to step up and tell your dad the whole truth. You are his little girl, always will be. He has to accept what he can;t change, and he can't change the fact that his daughter is involved with a man with 2 children. Happens everyday, he will accept it, maybe not like it, cause he knows what will happen in the future. You can't see it, you are too young. Not your fault, but please, listen to what your father says, and don't judge him cause he wants better for you. He probably just wants you to be with a man, have just your own children, and live happily everafter. It's every mans dream. for his daughter. Doesn't always happen that way though. It will be all right, be honest with him, kids are something you can;t hide for long! Good Luck.

Answer 3

If you want your Dad to treat you like a grown up and not a child then you need to act like one. He may get mad but then again it may make him look at you a little different. He also may say that you are to young to get tied down with kids you have your whole life a head of you. I am sure that he loves you and with in time he will find a way to deal with it. I can say if he is able to be ok with the two of you living together then who knows maybe this will not be to far out for him... I would how ever wonder why it was that after being in some ones life for two years that they never found there kids important enough to mention to the possible extended family. Actions speak louder then words.
I was wondering has he never seen pic. of you boyfriends kids at your house?
I would personally question why it is the both of you hid this for two years.. now you two want him to take you seriously.
I wish the best to the all of you.

Answer 4

The first thing is do you love this guy? If you do then you should definitely look into a way to tell your dad and face the consequences. You are an adult and are capable of handling any consequences this relationship might bring. Make sure your dad knows that you respect his opinion and wanted to let him know because you really love the guy! I hope every thing works out for you!

Answer 5

The sooner you tell him you're an adult, the sooner it will start to sink in. You actually do have to act like an adult though. He's your dad, how will you lose him? If he loves you, he will come to understand. It may take him a while to get over the lying though. If your boyfriend had any balls, he should have insisted on meeting your dad a long time ago. Good luck.

Answer 6

I know that I'm very old fashioned, but if he knows you two are living together, he might have expected that the guy had not been celibate his entire life. Living together means you might get pregnant. Being responsible for your actions means taking time for your kids. I commend him for giving his kids his time and involvement. If you can help your father think of it this way, he may feel better.

Answer 7

Tell your father as a matter of fact your dad isn't a fool.He feels maybe you could have done better without taking somebody with kids.But if you feel you want to be with that person then do that but remember it's the whole package kids and all.If your father doesn't want to except it then Oh WELL.Tell your father how you feel and if he chooses to walk away then let him but understand one thing you only have one father so try to explain it and have your mom with you.DON'T ARGUE with your father just listen.

Answer 8

If you really think your dad is so important in your life, then you need to tell him and deal with what ever happen next, the love for a dad is very diffrent then a love for a guy who one day might betray you or something like that. Dad is more important.

Answer 9

There comes a time in everyone's life where they have to make decisions for themselves and not based on what their parents/family/friends think. If you love this man enough that you are willing to accept his children then it doesn't really matter what your father thinks. He can accept it and move on or he can decide not to accept it and your life still goes on. This man can't make his children disappear to please your father and from what you said (...my parents are finally starting to like him...welcome him into their home...) then it seems that you have already proven to them that you are willing to stick by his side no matter what they think.

Answer 10

If you've been living together for 2 yrs, and your father doesn't know anything about him yet, and has never inquired about his past. It sounds as if your father could care less.