I've been knowing this guy for about 4 months. We started off dating, then I eventually started a relationship with him 2 months aftter knowing him. We only were a couple for two weeks when he told me that he can't do the relationship thing. So I agreed to be his friend. We ended up still messing around and flirting occasionally. And he still acts like he likes me. But his ex of 3 years and him are back close and what he calls FRIENDS! But he admitts that he's tryna make it work with her. I'm like what! So now he talks to me about her, and says he wants to leave her it's just he needs something out of the relationship since he put so much into it. But I still like him and want to be with him. I want to be his friend but i don't think I can while I still have these feelings. Because I feel like I have to compete with her. Can I be his friend. I really don't want to just leave him alone, but I must find out whats best for me! HELP ME!
2007-01-16 02:33:54 · 9 answers · asked by ♥Truthfully♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I sympathize and empathize with you - you are between a rock and a hard place or jumping from the fire into the frying pan - yes, these are cliches, but it fits the situation you are in.
I think the key to the resolution to this problem is what you wrote "But I still like him and want to be with him. I want to be his friend but i don't think I can while I still have these feelings. Because I feel like I have to compete with her."
It seems to me that you have feelings for him that are more than friendship and if you try to keep it on a "friends" basis, it will be too hard for you.
You also wrote "I really don't want to just leave him alone". But actually this is the best solution at this time because it seems to me this guy is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He's playing with his ex-girlfriend and he is playing with you. Is that right and fair to either of you? It does show his character - which in my opinion, is not a very good one.
Even though, you want to keep a relationship going with him, I think it's better, if you would just remove yourself from contact with him. I think if you don't, you are going to experience a very painful situation. I don't think this guy is serious about either of you and for your own sanity and safety, it's better to get out while you still have the strength to do so.
2007-01-16 02:46:19 · answer #1 · answered by happy inside 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not you actually have already answered your own question.Re-read what you wrote you said you don't think that you can be friend's with him because of the way you feel.You know what you can handle and what is best for you.Sometimes it is in your best interest to remember the good times you had together and cut all ties.Don't ever allow yoursekf to settle for second best.You don't need to compete with his Ex you deserve better I suggest you leave him in your past and start new without him in your life.Good luck to you.
2007-01-16 10:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he is playing tagg'em and leav'em. He agreed to be your friend because he still got to tag you. You became his friends with benefits. What do you think his ex is, if there still close. What does he want out of a relationship that is over, only one thing.
To find out what's best for you, you don't need him to find that out.
2007-01-16 10:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by Bishop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in these situations before and I just play it off as the best friend like all guys want the girl to do, and then the guy realizes he wants to be with you, not her. Tell him to grow some balls and just be with you, compare you and her to him and make him realize you're the better girl. Fight for what you want, just don't sit at the sidelines.
2007-01-16 10:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Angel*Eyesz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be until he figures out what he's doing. Nothing is worse than a man who is confused because they do and say things that hurt people without thinking. You can explain it to him if you want or just put distance there.
2007-01-16 10:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by nightstar114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i been in da same postition tell him to stop talking to u about her and if u feel u cant be friends with him cuz ur feelings r getting deeper than just forget about cuz its just gon make u mo and mo different around him u need to let him know how u feel and dont ket it build up inside u cuz trust it hurts really bad just let him know how u feel about him and hopefully youll can put this behind youll r if he wasnt ready for a relationship he should of not tryed to start one with you from the get go do u understand whatim saying but homegirl trust booys come and go men whatevea just now dont waste your time behind just on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-16 10:43:09 · answer #6 · answered by tasashamascott 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like all he's trying to do is string you along. In other words, you're his back up girl. Keep your distance from him. If he has any feelings for you what so ever, he wouldn't be stringing you along the way he is.
2007-01-16 10:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont put your self through this. Let him be and if he cares he'll come back. But I would date around and go out dont let him see he has 2 girls waniting him he'll think he's the man, and he's really not.
2007-01-16 10:44:21 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those feelings will be there,but be good friends.you cannot finish those feelings at once .
2007-01-16 10:42:33 · answer #9 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋