i am 21 years old with a 4 year old boy and no baby daddy.?

Question

i feel like i am never going to find a new man i gained lots of weight during my pregnancy and i have not been able to lose a lot of it. I think this is starting to depress me. And i feel like i am not being such a good mother. Does anyone know what i can do to be a better mother to my baby boy who deserves to have a good mother. I just don't know how to play with him or how to discipline him

Answer 1

Don't worry about "finding a man"! Spend time with you son. There is lots you can do with him. Color,video games, play dough,pizza party, McDonald's play place, the park................Its endless. Don't let the weight get to you. You have a beautiful son and that's all you need in life! Chin up and good luck. (When your depressed, just think.........."it could always be worse" ;-)

Answer 2

So let me understand you are looking for a father so someone can discipline your son? Are you receiving child support from the father, does he have visitation? If so then that is all that matters. Because you are young and dont know any better, I hope you are not just shopping around for a man, to get pregnant with again so he can leave u too. Here is what u need to do! 1) Get a job, making over 10.00 an hr. depending on where u live, 2)apply for state assistance since it is aimed to TEMPoralry assist people like you, 3) buy or finance a computer, and take college online courses. Let me tell u something little girl, you should have thought about all of this before creating a child with loser, but everyone is intitled a mistake now you must fix it. Go to school work and do it alone. You child is rebeling because you planted the seed and now here is your fruit. Stop the way u are living now and follow the above. Is he in preschool? no $- srs can help u. There is no need for a man, NONE! U can do it, alone like many women before have done it. You are not the first, and will not be the last but u can be an example of how a smart motivated woman can make it alone! Stop worring about your weight, and focus on what is important. Why do u need a man, so he can molest your son? Or abuse him, because turn on the tv. honey this is what happens to women like u. Come on girl u can do it.. !! Please email me if u need someone to talk to girl.. I will always give u the cold hard truth!

Answer 3

Take it from someone who is in your same situation.. single mom of a 2 year old only difference I'm much older than you so I'm sure this must be VERY tough for you.

As a mom you should know what your son likes or dislikes... he's 4 now so he has an idea of what games he enjoys playing, books he likes to read... spending time w/ your son is VERY important - get creative.. go to the park w/ him, get down to his level & sit on the floor... get dirty, cook together.. there's tons of things to do -- there's nothing wrong w/ asking your toddler - what would you like to do today?

I truly know EXACTLY how you feel about your weight. I was sooo skinny (even during my pregnancy), but AFTER I gave birth, I gained 60 ugly pounds and they still haven't come off. I, too, sometimes don't feel like going out b/c I feel so disgusting BUT when I look at my son - I don't care! Who gives a rat's butt what anybody has to say or who's looking -- the one person you should be caring about is your son!

Being a single mom isn't sooo bad -- yes, easy it is not but don't focus so much on "finding a new man" focus on your son and you shall both be happy... a healthy, fit mom is very important too.. it means we're trying our best to live just a bit longer so we can continue to take care of our kids...

I must shed the weight too! Good luck!

Answer 4

Hey!Who has told you that if you are a bit overweight you won't find the man of your life?
I know it's hard for you(at least you make it look like that) but I know it's not that way.It's a lot better than you think it is.Look at yourself in the mirror.Remember the happy 17-year-old beautiful girl who was happy and didn't have to take care of anything?Well,here it is the same girl 4 years later with a gorgeous little child.Look at your son.Is he happy?Yes he is.Because he is with you - his lovely and only mother!You are the one who knows everything!
You have to make some changes in your life.First start with your weight.Take up a sport which you ca do for a few hours(while the boy is in the kindergarten or with a baby sitter).Second,find friends in similar to your condition(in parenting classes there are some single parents as well and there are a lot of potencial friends for you).Work on your dignity.You are not worse person than anyone else(even the fact that you have asked that question shows that you are better than some of us - you are worried for yourself and your son).Spend some more time with him and you will find out what does he think of you - THE BEST!And isn't his opinion the most important?:)
Good luck!

Answer 5

Sometimes it is just not very fun for us to get on the floor and play with our kids. Try to find things that you enjoyed as a child to share with him. I love to read to my kids, play Candy Land, watch movies I used to love, go for walks, etc. But I have a hard time getting down on the floor and playing cars for more than 5 minutes! Start taking walks with your son so you can get some exercise and spend time with your son. Do not worry about finding a man. Take care of yourself and your son and eventually the right man may come along. If not, at least you are enjoying your life.

Answer 6

Start going out and playing with your son. Concentrate on him, not getting a man. I'll tell you what to do, go out and buy a kick ball, you and your son go out to the park or in the yard if you have one and you start kicking the ball around. This will get you moving (so you're getting exercise) and playing with your son at the same time. If your in the city, get roller blades or bikes. Boys are so easy, just get them outside and once you get them started they will wear you out! I know, I have 2 sons and I just don't know what I would do without them. They are 19 and 16 now, enjoy your son while you can, he'll be all grown up before you know it! Good Luck!

Answer 7

I gained 80 pds when I was pregnant with my daughter! I lost it all and then some....What you need to do to lose weight is???? No sweets, try the Special K diet, take your son for a walk with you (he will love that) measure your portions (1/4 cup) this will shrink your stomach and help you loose weight!! You are a great mother, you have kept your son, you haven't gave up!! :} Just play with him, color, paint, watch movies, read books etc..... There are tons of things to do!! :} GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

Look around and/or ask people if they know of any parenting classes if there is then take them. You need to be there for your son. There are many ways that you can play with your son. Take him to the park,go to the store and buy games for his age and play those with him. There are many possible things you just have to find out what he likes. Do you talk to your mother and/or father? If so talk to them I'm sure they could help you. Do you have any friends? If so talk to them and see if they have any insite in it. Good Luck

Answer 9

Take him to the park and push him on the swing or buy him some toys or something, you dont need the father to help you do that. You dont need the father for you to disclipine him, he is four so a time out should work.

Answer 10

i'm going to be 21 in april. i have a 19 month old daughter and i'm expecting another daughter in april. my children's father lives in a different city and its hard because i'm here with his babies and he's there for work. i don't have him here to help so i'm basically raising our daughter on my own and it gets frustrating. sometimes i don't think that i'm doing the right things for her. now being pregnant again im gaining this weight and i thinking about if he's attracted to me. does he still want me. is there someone else where he lives. who he's talking to and whatnot.

what i've realized is that i've put myself in this situation. it is what it is and i can change it. once my daughter comes i'll go to the gym. i'll think my decisions out when it comes to my daughter. i won't worry about him or what he's doing because it's not worth it. basically i'm taking control of my thoughts and my body. basically im getting my confidence back.

some man out there thinks that your beautiful and wants to be the only man in you and your sons world. you've got to take control of the things that stress you out in life and deal with them. you got to get your confidence back.