how do you deal with, cope with, handle the perception that you have been "brushed off" by the opposite sex?

Question

gracefully? harshly? covertly? eye for and eye? weakly? powerfully? denial? cool? emotionally? masculinely? how?

ergonomia: WTF!!!! will somebody please read that for me and give me the condenced notes!!!\

Answer 1

It doesn't affect me as much as it used to. I can handle brush-offs with the grace of any dancer.

Answer 2

You accept the situation for what it is. Obviously you can do so much better with someone else. Whether they tell you or not at some point down the line they might feel bad for how they treated you. To top that off they might even start to have feeling for you. So, you move on "gracefully", "powerfully" and harbor no bad feelings at all. :#)

Answer 3

Oh man thats too funny!! You better not give that Ergo guy best answer just because his answer is a long as the US Constitution!

Moving on....I deal with it pretty gracefully. I just let it roll of my shoulders. I mean someone else is out there for you. Im not going to waste my time looking for them. Ill take my time and enjoy life and when they, whoever they are, are ready they will find me.

Answer 4

My personal thing I do is... I set myself up beforehand, for example: If I'm going to the club I say to myself I look good and feel good and I'm going to have fun. If someone tries to talk to me I will indulge them, if I see someone and they don't indulge me I walk away, suck it up (it was not meant to be) and have another drink. Do not let any man/woman get the best of you, if they don't want to get to know you for you then f*** it, another one will come.

Answer 5

i do deal with it everyday too im being brushed off by my boyfriend even and i dont know why

Answer 6

It depends but usually I try to pretend like nothing is wrong till it goes away.

Answer 7

Its almost impossible, unless he freakin blind.....but if yes then i would feel harsh.

Answer 8

I stalk them....

Hahahahahahahahaha. Not funny anymore because of that but I had to or some prig would remove the response because they need to be shot.

Anyway. Women brush you off for a lot of reasons. Nothing to get down on yourself about. I ask a lot of random girls out, sometimes I ask for like 5 girls numbers a day and every one says no (at like a grocery store, bookstore, gas station etc., not where I go to school or whatever I don't crap where I eat) - but then sometimes all 5 say yes. I'm not a big pimp some days and some days not, its just that a lot of reasons are out there why one girl will brush you off - I brush girls off sometimes too. The key is that you keep yourself straight - if you want to be with a woman, get other women; shrug this one's response off. If you want a SPECIFIC woman, you're going to have a rough time. Its probability either way, but if you ask 50 girls for their numbers vs. work hard on one, the first one is you stacking the deck in your favor. I prefer to win. But if you are a balls-to-the wall or a stupid hopeless romantic kindof Don Juan, then it can't hurt to say the same basic idea to yourself: she could have a boyfriend, she could not find you attractive physically, she may find you too masculine/feminine for her ON THAT DAY, she could be trying to go through you to your best friend, she could be hungry when you pop the approach, she could have a bad contact or maybe a self-esteem problem. She could be the type to just for the hell of it arbitrarily turn down every guy that comes up to her and blinks during the first sentence they say, no matter what, or something. Maybe her room mate just got broken up with and she doesn't want to make her feel bad by hooking up. Maybe she's embarrassed she still lives at home. Maybe you're too hard for her to control. Too easy to control. She considers you a friend, like a brother. You look like her father and it creeps her out. You don't look enough like her father for her subconcious. You drink too much. You don't do pot enough for her. She likes a man to be "above" caring about what his hair looks like. She wouldn't be caught dead looking at a man who doesn't wear versace cologne. She's on the wrong part of her menstrual cycle. A loved one just died. She's about to go on vacation. She's a lesbian. She has a thing for big/fat/black/asian/nativeamerican/poor/skinny/stupid guys. She doesn't HAVE a phone. She didn't like your approach. She was busy with homework. She's not doing well at school now. She's a mother already. She has herpes, and doesn't want to let anyone know. She was abused as a child. Her sports team just lost. She just left her therapist's office. She doesn't like guys to approach her. You look like a serial killer to her, in those Dockers and nice buisness suit and flowers in your hand. She just say a horror movie. She just saw The Notebook again. She just saw a comedy. Drama. An action movie with a guy that could run faster and jump higher than any guy on the planet with arms 20" around, like he had in the film. You used incorrect English when speaking to her, as in "lay" versus "lie" and she's a lit major. She was just looking at herself in a mirror thinking she's fat and no one would want her like this, then she turns when you address her. She has a hangover. She burned herself on the curling iron earlier today. Yeast infection. She thinks she may be pregnant. Her shoes don't fit right. She has a cold. A cold sore. She is cold. Her feet are sore. Her feet are cold and she has a sore throat. She's too hot. She wishes she was shorter. She's made a deal with God that she won't get a boyfriend till she gets her life in order. She's mad at someone. Her stomach feels sick because she ate half a serving of anything (happens a LOT). She has a crazy ex and doesn't want him to attack you. Someone broke her heart about 15 years back. She broke some guy's heart a couple of months back and now feels bad and is afraid to date anyone else. Her dog died. Her 8 cats ran away. Her house just burned down. She got in a fender-bender. Her nail just broke. Her nail broke three weeks ago. Her breasts are too small. It "looks wierd" down there on her. She thinks she smells bad. It makes her feel superior to turn hot guys down. She has to do the dishes when she gets home. Her plant that her grandma gave her died despite her constant attention. Her best friend is pregnant, and she sees it as pathetic she's still being hit on by guys in the supermarket, so she blankets out rejection there. She won't date anyone who isn't an engineer of some sort. Her lipstick bothers her. She needs a haircut. The last guy she was with liked really rough sex; she's still recovering from something, hopefully emotional. She doesn't like your shoes. And the most annoying thing of all when its a girl that you've pursued for a while:

Ok, look, let's deal with this. I know how you feel and you're a really great guy. But I just don't feel it that way for you. Don't worry, you'll get some great girls, better than me. Let's just be friends and take it from there, ok?

!!!

I've dated or at least eventually made out with almost every girl that I've been good friends with in my life, but let me tell you - when the opportunity rose. Not by pursuing them. These problems mentioned above are all viable, believe it or not. I've heard EVERY one, either personally or in a reliable story. And plenty more I can't remember. I made a joke out of the cold/sore thing. Can't remember it anymore. But like I say, if you gotta go for a specific one, wait till you've already got one on the backburner so that (or if you find this unethical go right out if you are rejected and find a lot of girls to ask for numbers from so that) you maximize your chances of getting with someone, and at last not being lonely. Try not to be too possessive; I don't know one guy who has ever not been mad at some point because he saw a girl he liked with some LOSER not even worth the air he breathes giving her the time of her life. Take care of yourself. And good luck.

~Ergo.