My 15 yo boy is a great kid. Good student, honest to us and to everybody, has a good heart, shows affection and respect to me and his dad, though sometimes he doesn't agree with us. But he's not perfect and though I can't say he messed up, he was coming late sometimes, joining some guys older than him and I got worried. We had a heart to heart talk, we told him we were a bit woried, would like him to change in some points. He got a bit angry, cause he took our protection for critcism, but there was a happy end, he promised to change and kept hos word, though on some points he didn't agree with us. I'd say today he is 95% of what I wanted, but not 100%, sometimes he makes mistakes. I don't want to do anything harsh, I don't think punishment is in order, so what can I do? Anyway, I'm so happy that, after talk, he did his best to be as we want. Should I tell him I'm so happy?
2007-01-16 01:47:32 · 15 answers · asked by Melissa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, you need to show him positive reinforcement of his behavior, which means after he shows the good actions, you praise him.
2007-01-16 01:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always tell a child when you are pleased with him. As long as he's not putting himself in any danger with his actions, it is best to concentrate on his positive qualities instead of his negative. He will never be perfect just as nobody else is perfect. Think about how you were at his age. I'd say as long as he's not getting into any real trouble to leave him alone. He's a good kid and will come to you if he needs guidance. Don't push him away by being critical when he has so much going good in his life. There are parents out there in alot worse situations. Keeping the communication lines open is the best thing to do so that he feels he can talk to you about anything.
2007-01-16 01:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by Angela F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds liek you are doing a great job!! And I know that you know that kids are not put on this earth to be 100% of what their parents want. If they were they would never learn anything and would have very very hard adult lives due to a lack of personal decision making skills and personal experience.
To get a great insight on positive influence, I suggest that you pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to make firends and influence people"
Its a an awesome book and will show you great posiitve ways to influence your childs decisions and be a more effective leader (parent)
But be proud....tell your kid how great he is. I would imagine most parents would kill for a kid that they approve of his actions 95% of the time. Tell you kid how proud of him you are for making right decisions. Discuss how the decisions affect him, not how they affect you. And listen to him, let him tell you why he makes a decision you may not like...and be open to start liking it.
2007-01-16 01:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is acting act a little to show you he's not perfect (which he isn't and won't be) and maybe by disagreeing with you he is showing you he is an individual with individual ideas. He will never be 100% of who you want him to be. This is God creation with his own individuality's, I respect you for trying to be a responsible parent but remember he is not a clone of you or his father or both.And let him know your proud of who he is.Reread what you wrote and do some soul searching I think maybe you'll get the point. I'm disappointed in your grammar and spelling mom your not what I was excepting.
2007-01-16 02:25:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is one simple fact you are missing you guys arent perfect either and as a parent not only should you be teaching him right from wrong and how to be obedient he also needs to know you love and you see how he is such a fine boy and you appreciate how well he does.so even though he doesnt see how your decision works mean what you say and do all things for him out of love and give him your time and plenty of it to keep the behavior that you love about him strong so that it can counteract all the other things he learns when he is out of your sight.
2007-01-16 02:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by dontchawish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Praise... People learn and build up self esteem from praise.. If you were to tell him that you appreciate the effort he has made in the changes that you had talked about I'm sure in some way it would make him feel great. People are meant to make mistakes its how we learn, so try not to be too harsh on him... He'll soon grow out of his habbits...
2007-01-16 01:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Skiri 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that your boy isn't going to be "what you want"...he is his own person and you should love and respect him for who he is....
Every parent wants their child to change...guess what...YOU CAN"T CHANGE PEOPLE!!!!! He's 15...kids at that age will make mistakes, get into trouble...be thankful he's not into drugs, getting arrested or out killing people...
YES...since your son has changed his ways for you, you should tell him you are happy...I can't beleive you even have to ask that...it should be an automatic thing!
2007-01-16 02:31:18 · answer #7 · answered by Newmomofone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some parents aren't even 50% happy with their children and your complaining because your son is 95% ? Be grateful for what you have!
2007-01-16 03:29:13 · answer #8 · answered by ctsnowmiss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should tell him that you are happy, BUT is HE happy?
Did you do EVERYTHING your parents wanted you to do? He is going to be himself. He probably doesn't know who he is cause he is ALWAYS trying to please you.
Let him be himself and what he wants. There is no such thing as a 100% PERFECT child, so don't expect him to be. Oh, and by the way, he DOESN'T tell you EVERYTHING because he knows how you will react.
2007-01-16 02:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if hes 95% a perfect kid, what could you wnat more of? most parents dont have great relationships with their kids and so their kids are horrible. be thankful he isnt a little rotten, druggie punk who sucks money off of you.
face it, us teenagers will ALWAYS make mistakes, you cant not expect that.. we are young and dotn know EVERYTHING.
2007-01-16 01:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by kallissa b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know of anyone that hasnt made a mistake. ANd I dont care who it is. He is a teenager, of course he isnt going to agree with you and of course he is going to mess up. Too young to be an adult, too old to be a child.
2007-01-16 01:54:01 · answer #11 · answered by themom95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋