My husband and his brother are 30 and 35 respectively. Yesterday when I came home from work I caught the two of them in the shower together. They were both soapy and wet and happily washing each others bodies. When I asked them what in the world they were doing, they said that they wanted to spend some time together bonding and this was the perfect way to do it. I was stunned. My husband acted as if this was not a big deal and says that he and his brother do many things together that I am not even aware of. Should I accept this behavior or should I ask them to stop? Should my husband still be showering with his brother? Help please!
2007-01-16 01:22:14 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Absolutely not! If your husband should be showering with anyone, it would be you. If your husband and his brother want to do some bonding, suggest hunting, fishing or shooting a game of pool. This is not healthy and both seem to have some issues that need to be resolved. Were they sexually abused as children. This is not the norm for adult behavior. Consider talking to your husband about how you feel and maybe even suggest counseling. If he doesn't see anything wrong with it, perhaps you should tell him that society would veiw his actions as unacceptable. Also, if you have children, what kind of message does that send to them. This is not ok. There is something wrong with this situation. If it were another male friend, I would suggest that perhaps he is harboring same sex tendancies but the fact that they are siblings.... just ask them to stop and find out what is actually going on in his mind.
2007-01-16 01:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay this is weird! Don't let him tell you that you shouldn't feel uncomfortable with this. Adult men 30 & 35 do not shower together to bond (doesn't matter if they are brothers). They bond by watching or playing sports, fishing, just hanging out--NOT BATHING TOGETHER! I'd be worried about these other things he and his brother do together that you're not aware of! Tell your husband this upsets you. Also, tell him you want to know other things they do together that fit under this category. Please get yourself check for STD's and go to a marriage counselor (with or without him) . If his brother is married, tell his wife--she should know. You shouldn't accept this behavior. I would question his judgement on so many levels. Good Luck!
2007-01-16 01:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends. Be sure to talk with him about how many things he does with his elder brother that you are not aware of though. Chances are that he might get angry with you about telling something he shares with his elder brother however he might tell you just how many things they and how close they are.
As for the norm, it is not normal for them to be showering however think like this--would you mind if two brothers who are like 4 or 5 are showering with eachother? I'm guessing that they are so close that it is a bonding habit between them just how how guys bond over watching tv or sports etc.
You just might want to make sure that you know what's going on between them more though or why they are so close (if you don't already know).
If you are really uncomfortable with the idea, then you should defintely tell him about it and try to make him understand your point of view without getting angry or making him angry ok? This way, you might understand him better in this issue.
Hope this helps ^_^
2007-01-16 03:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by Lunais 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you already have plenty of answers but I just feel the need to respond. You definitely have to tell him that this bothers you a great deal. I would speak to a counsellor about it, first on my own. Then I would insist that he come along and discuss this issue. Personally, after witnessing this shower thing, I wouldn't likely feel good about sleeping with him. Two grownup brothers who think showering together is a way of bonding is just too weird for me!
2007-01-16 01:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not judge your husband by just one event. Even though showereing together is kind of odd, it is not so bizarre that people stop and say "that would never be right". I think your husbands character should be judged by ALL of the other things he does everyday. Is he educated? Does he have gainful employment? Does he treat you with respect and love? Does he speak about others disparigingly? These are the qualities by which he should be judged. Unless of course your instincts tell you he is a really bizarre and unsafe individual to be around.
2007-01-16 01:33:33 · answer #5 · answered by nukehoop 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They definately shouldn't be showering together. Its just not natural at their age. I would be worried about the other things they do together too that you don't know about. Bonding in this way is bull. I always thought male bonding was more like hunting and fishing and 4 wheeling and stuff like that. Watching football, whatever. This is not a healthy relationship.
2007-01-16 01:27:53 · answer #6 · answered by Angela F 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is very perverted action on behalf of your husband. This is not how brothers spend time together, there are a million things to do together but not showering. Of course you should put an end this. I am sorry but this is very sick.
2007-01-16 01:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by maran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband and his brother from another country? The reason I ask is that I am friends with a couple and the man is from Venezuela, and he takes showers with his mother when they visit each other. Apparently, there is nothing wrong with this in their country, even though I found it quite odd. I was just wondering if it's a culture difference.
2007-01-16 01:29:21 · answer #8 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all that it inappropriate. They me be brothers,but they also fu@king each other. That is not right. I think that you should be careful, and not be surprised if it is true.No your husband should not be showering with his brother at that age. We did **** like that when we were babies,but they are taking this **** to a whole norther level.Don't accept or condone this behavior. You might need to question your commitment to him as his wife and him as your husband. This behavior is taboo.
2007-01-16 01:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by lhpretty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with u, that is really strange. And soaping each other down??? hmm I have never heard of a story like this. If they think it's perfectly normal then they probably won't stop, but I definately would talk more about this with him. Good luck and let us know what happens.
2007-01-16 01:27:44 · answer #10 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋