When people ask me why I am silent, what do I tell them in return?

Question

I am not a talkiative person so people may ask me why I am so silent etc. and I feel myself very bad.

What can I tell them in return so that what i say will sound logical?

I sometimes feel as if I am from the space when people around are all friends and talking at school. I feel isolated. I feel as if I am a foreigner.

Answer 1

You are not bad because you are a quiet person.

I sense from what you have written that you are a very sensitive person and worry about what you say so much that you avoid talking. You seem to worry that people will not find your views logical. The fact that they ask you why you are quiet means they are keen for you to join in and probably wouldn't mind whatever you had to say.

When you are with a group of people it is easy to shut yourself off I have done it myself. Try to focus on what they are talking about and don't worry about talking unless you feel comfortable enough to do so. I think that the more you concentrate on listening to people the more likely you are to feel at ease enough to join in. Just don't feel pressured into thinking that you have to speak.

Hope you start to feel more confident.
Good luck :-)))

Answer 2

Hi. I know what you mean. I suffer from Social Phobia. I am not too bad with people that I work closely with and learn to trust and get used to them. But amongst people I don't know very well I am usually fairly quiet and uncomfortable. I don't have any real friends or a social life so it can be very isolating. Little steps is the best. Just push yourself each day, even just to say something brief or a few words to get yourself used to talking.
The more you expose yourself to situations the better. But don't be mad at yourself for not being like all those outgoing confident people. Just because they are like that doesn't make them a better person than you. You are special and unique and cherish that. The world would be a boring place if everyone was the same.

If you want to make a joke of it when they ask why are you so quiet, just say that you are in training to be a ninja!!!! That should get a laugh.

Answer 3

Is it with people who you don't trust that you are silent with? You fear what they will think of you if you say what u r really thinking and that they will view you badly because of it or r u just quiet generally? I only say this because I have depression (not saying that you do) and when people talk to me I am maybe thinking 'how do I respond to that what they just said' rather than just not saying anything or saying 'i cant understand', 'i dont care' etc. I think myself bad for thinking these things so I immediatelt try to get an alternative but its difficult but I have learned that if people care for you then they will just accept that you are silent and not try to ridicule you for it.

There is nothing wrong with being how you are - although you might think there is because everyone else seems to be different from you - it maybe that you arent with the right people and what they say holds no interest for you. I find that a lot. I like listenign and learning and listening to interesting people with theories etc but at the same time people who will just accept you for what you are.

I feel like I am a foriegner but in reality that is not the case, remember that. Your view of yourself is only a perception it is not the reality. My view of myself tends to be shaped by how others think of and respond to me which is wrong (not a good word, maybe you should just give rise to your emotions, identify them and tell yourself they are valid and etc etc. I cant go on. Depreession makes me incohent I cant think straight so thats why this is rambling on with no structure. If you want to email me feel free.

Nic

Oh by the way if someone asked me why I was silent I'd say, because I am. Why do u ask?

Answer 4

Just say, 'I'm just one of the quiet people in life'. See there is absolutely nothing wrong with being quiet...it's often the quiet people who listen more to what others have to say.

However, a small tip for you, when you are listening to what people say, try to ask a question about what they've said, but, make it an open question.....in other words a questions that requires more than a yes or no answer.....so it could start with Tell me about.... or How.....then they will need to give you a longer answer and often there are more questions you can ask on from that.

People always used to say I was quiet,also my daughter, but as I used to tell her, we can't all be loud!

As you get older the confidence comes. Trust me, quiet people do not always go unnoticed in a negative way.

Hope this helps a bit.

Best wishes

Answer 5

Yeah dont worry about it man, just be yourself and you will fall into a group of friends that have the same interests as you.
Or you could try watching some news or read some mags etc and just expand your knowledge a wee bit.
As for telling people why your silent? Say your shy, or just lost in your thoughts, say you just like listening. Theres always one is the group.

Answer 6

Even the most confident people are sometimes the most silent, you know the old saying 'it's the quiet one you have to watch out for'. If someone asks you why you are quiet, tell them "I prefer to watch what's going on and sum people up before I comment" This line REALLY scares people and there's really no answer to it.

Answer 7

I feel the same recently and have stopped going out as much because I just feel I do not have anything in common with my freinds anymore, they always talk about lewd subjects which I am not interested in, then they compain that I am quiet, but I feel this is because I want to talk about real subjects and have a conversation, not talk about how to make the perfect girl!

Answer 8

I know it can be hard, I'm quiet and people often think I'm being stand-offish etc Just tell people you get lost in your own thoughts, someone once said: 'There's nothing more irritating than a useless voice' - so better to stay silent if you don't have anything interesting to say, that might make them think.

Answer 9

i too am sometimes a quiet person at school, but when i am around people i know im loud and talkative. maybe you dont express yourself because you dont know the people your with very well and dont want them to judge you if you talk alot - or if you just really are a quiet person then just say so, but if you are with friends and an interesting topic of conversation comes, dont be afraid do jump in and speak your mind.

Answer 10

People talk too much in this world, and the majority of it is rubbish. Tell the truth, that you are not a particulary talkative person. Better to tell the truth. I wouldn't feel bad about it, theres nothing wrong with being quiet.