how can i tell my husband of 25years that im bored with him im only 44 and been with him since i was 15?

Question

i dont love him what am i doing here

Answer 1

25 years a quarter century. All is not lost. Have you tried to talk to him. It's distressing to see a marriage fail after so many years have been invested.

All of us in this age group experience a mid-life crisis at this stage of our lives. What i started doing was "Dating" my wife again.

Instead of doing the same ol, same ol, stuff we'd been doing for way to many years. I started taking her to dinner, plays, movies, home shows, concerts and spending alot more time with her. Kinda like when we first met and started dating. It brought the romance back into our lives.

When 2 people have been together for this long a period, the relationship can become stale for lack of maintenance. You've been with this man for along time. Experienced quite alot together.

Because you have been together for so long, experienced so much, you can ask him to sit down and talk about how you feel. He may be feeling much the same way. But, instead of talking about divorce, instead talk about each other's idea's on how you can bring back an active romance in your life where both of you show your love for one another. Don't leave him, you'll regret it.

Love in any relationship just doesn't sustain it's self, you have to do maintenance on it just like you've done all these years on your relationship. You still love him, you just are bored with the current situation the way it is.

You may wish to seek the advice of a marriage counselor on your own or with your husband and there is nothing wrong with doing this.

I wish i could be of more help. I wish the best for you Good Luck.

Answer 2

Listen Tina, i was a year older than you when i realise that i no longer wanted to live with my husband. He was totally boring and our sex life was crap. I also had someone else in my life which you may not have. I left him and in the four years since then, divorced him, moved in with other guy and now remarried and very happy. Life is short and you realise this in your 40's! You are right, you ARE only 44 and lots of living left to do!

If you really dont love him, and there is no hope even if he was to take up new interests with you, then just tell him that you want a separation or divorce. He won't like it cos he will have to come out of his comfortable rut, but well, tough t*ttie, life is hard. Your life is as important as his, and if you want something different then go for it and i say good luck to you!

Faith x

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that you feel like this!
Don't rush into anything, a marriage is a commitment that isn't taken lightly
What exactly are you bored with?
I know myself that the same old mundane routine can drive you mad- taking kids to school, cleaning, cooking etc....
Both myself and my husband-of 13 years (been with each other 17 years!)- need to make time for each other which often isn't easy but we also need time to do our own things individually too!
You really do need to have a heart to heart with him and try and figure out whether you want to try and work things out or not!
It would be a shame to throw away a relationship that has lasted this long but on the other hand, if you REALLY do want to end it then thats your choice.
My advice would be to think carefully about it and don't do anything in haste
You both deserve to be happy

Answer 4

wow. thats sad. not just for you but for him too. Ive been married 10 years..and ive been with the same guy since i was 14. well.. im now 27. There are times when id like to throw in the towel to, believe me.. however.. then i realize how blessed i am to have someone who loves me and who has been with me through the good and the bad most of my life. So what if he's boring? atleast he's not dying! Make it exciting.. bring back that fire..it all starts in the bedroom. Then make sure to put forth some effort and take a night every week to go on a date. REfall inlove! seriously, would you want to see him happy with anyone else or can you see yourself happy with someone else? what if you get bored of the other guy too? Love what you've got.

Answer 5

Are you bored of him as a person, or are you finally bored of the everyday routine of life that you have known since you were 15 and you want change? Are you not attracted to him, or are you seeking to finally find out what else is out there since you didn't do that when you were younger? Is it your curiousity that is pushing you 2 apart? Do you want to sort out your marriage, or you just want out, full stop? You have a lot of history behind you. I would suggest a change of everyday routine, say once a week you go out somewhere together, dressed up nice for each other, make the effort. Go on holiday. Rediscover your marriage again. Seek therapy if you want to make it work. In any case, you 2 need to chat. Marriage is for life; life is what you make it; therefore, marriage is what you both make it.

Answer 6

Leave him before you cheat on him. I don't know if you would ever cheat or if you've ever thought about it, but divorce him if that is a thought. Never put your spouse through the pain of being cheated on.

Just out of curiousity, have you ever thought he may be bored with you? You would think that you are a great spouse and trying to make life fun and exciting based on your feelings of your husband, but I bet that's not the case.

You could try working with him instead of against him, but unfortunately it sounds like you already have your mind set on leaving.

Forest Gump's statement that 'stupid is as stupid does' can work with most negative traights....'selfish is as selfish does' comes to mind here.

Answer 7

If you have been together that long, then you should be able to be honest with him. First, figure out why you are bored. Then, figure out what it is that you want to do -- start the flame again? Have a whole new life? Then talk to him from your heart. If it is simply that you are bored, figure out ways to make your life together interesting and refreshing. Don't be in a hurry to throw away what may become a vibrant relationship again.

Answer 8

You need to realise that marriage is for life despite statistics. How would you feel if after 25 years he said he's bored with you? For a marriage to last a lifetime relise it is for life then ask yourself now that I'm in this relationship how do I make it bearable, then interesting, then fun and work your way up to ecstatic. You need to rediscover yourself and what you both had. Sounds like both of you have reached the stage where you take yourselves for granted but if he were to drop dead today you wouldn't be booking the next flight out would you?
Have you stopped dressing to impress? Has he? Do you appreciate his looks or that he's all yours and does he do the same?
Yes you need to tell him you're bored with him but you need to know why and tell him so. You might be suprised if he comes back with the same responses as you.
Finally both of you need to reclaim your lives, go out, eat, talk, talk dirty, talk about when you guys first met. Talk about what used to make your hearts race. If you have nothing to talk about go out and find something.
Here's a good one, take up latin and ballroom dance.
Good luck

Answer 9

love isn't a feeling, it is a choice

the sparks always fade at this stage in the game. you are not bored with him, you are bored with the situation.

get busy and find some new things to do together

I've been through this stage. am so glad I didn't pack it in like most of our friends did. It has been so great to go to our children's graduations and weddings still holding hands, and now that our bodies are sagging and we are looking at becoming old farts together, the comfort of knowing eachother so well.

Choose to find new things in eachother. Get creative.

Answer 10

I thought I didn,t love mine till I nearly lost him.
After twenty years of marriage we talked and talked
spiced thing up and now we are happier than when
we first met. Like teenagers now.
If you do leave him that will be life changing and
may or may not break you. Imagine, how would you
feel if you saw him loved up with someone while
you were out? Just imagine.....