Is it okay that as a homosexual man I prefer NOT to be called gay?

Question

Gay, by definition is the following;

Gay is an adjective meaning "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy"; however, in modern usage, gay usually refers to homosexual men or women. Gay sometimes also refers to the culture of homosexual men and women (as in "gay history"), to things perceived by others to be typical of gay people (as in "gay music"), or to same-sex relationships more generally (as in "gay marriage"). Note that while gay applies to men and women equally, the term lesbian is gender-specific: it is used exclusively to describe homosexual women. There is no corresponding word for gay men.[1]

Therefore I prefer to be called a homo. It's my choice, right?

Homo is the genus that includes modern humans and their close relatives.

I am not showy, carefree and always happy.

I prefer to be called a name...not an adjective.

I am quite comfortable with myself. Thanks.

Puff...no thanks. Don't smoke.

Thanks Natalie. I can handle the heat !

No Indy. I simply detest being called gay ...an adjective, The "black" ref. is totally irrelevant.

My life defines me as well, Kedar. If I were a straight "basher" or troll and wrote this..I am quite sure you'd "report" me for writing the word "homo" on this board.

Adam....read my post. I'm gay. I didn't "blame gays for being called gay".


I

Indy - I'm a homo. If this is hurting your cause or you consider it selfish then you may need to analyze your being. I'm perfectly fine.

Answer 1

Sure, but be realistic. Your fighting against the tide. I never wanted to be called "gay" in the first place, they never ASKED gays if THEY could call us that, they just DID! Don't BLAME GAY PEOPLE FOR BEING CALLED GAY. That's like blaming every stereotype for being called its worst slur, no one wants to be called WHAT ITS CALLED, we just are. I prefer Queer, however, many people are offended by it. The thing is, its was Pansy in the 19th Century, then Nancy's and Fairies and then Gays. We didn't drop "names" in a bucket to choose any of those.

So, don't be surprised when straight society KEEPS calling you gay.

Answer 2

Yes :D it is quite all right that you prefer to be called a homo.
Homo may seem to some to be a bit derogatory. However, gay means happy, and we as a whole are a happy crowd. You see back in the day the only word one could use to identify our sexuality was homosexual, but this in public would out them. So those in "know" decided to find a keyword, and gay fit. It was a positive word that meant happy and joy. So they started to ask if one was gay or gay this and that. Now everyone seems to have forgotten gay is happy and the secret is out so gay has become an identifier of a homosexual.

But you by your own right can be called whatever you want and if you are out, why not a homo? You have that right in your personal nickname.

Answer 3

So you would choose a word more often used as a derogatory slur instead of one that has more inclusive connotations? Sounds like an African American that chooses to use the N word for him/herself instead of choosing to follow something with a far more positive derivation.

Actually no it isn't irrelevant, it's quite an apt comparison.
Both groups have their detractors, both groups have been opposed for one aspect of their being which does not make up the entirety of their being, and last but not by any means the least, both groups have those members that seem to enjoy making light of both the efforts others have made as well as the accomplishments that have been achieved for their own selfish reasons.

Answer 4

The word "gay" is just shorthand - far easier for a lot of people to say than homosexual and far more understood by the majority of people.

I prefer to refer to myself as homosexual and have many discussions with friends about the term, however, I really don't care how others wish to label me.

Need I say more?

Answer 5

That is perfectly fine. But don't always expect people to respect that you want to be called "homo" not "gay".. infact, most people will just sling the word "gay" out. I would most definately think that "homo" is more derrogatory, but around here, they like to be called "queer" .. so I guess "homo" is better then "queer"...good luck

Answer 6

I think you can refer to yourself in any way you want. However you should recognize that the culture you live in won't cooperate.

You know women have been called all sorts of names over time, and it bothered me when I was younger, but as you age, you concentrate on more important issues, so I would just give it some time and it won't irritate you so much.

Answer 7

You can ask to be called anything you want, but when you are categorized as "gay", it's kinda hard not to hear it. You do have a first name right? I'm assuming it's not "Gay" ... so why would you think people would call you "Gay" instead of your real first name?

Answer 8

Of course it is ok! If the term gay offends you then just politely correct anyone that says it to you. It is your right to be called what you want to. People that are close to you will understand and people who are not, well who cares. Labels are usually hurtful and shouldn't be used at all in my opinion.

Answer 9

The correct way to address someone is simply as "Sir" or "Ma'am" or leaving that out and asking for a name. When referring to gay men and women, saying "gay" and "lesbian" are perfectly fine. Do not use "a" unless in the phrase "a gay man" . . . in other words, you never want to say "I know a gay." or "A gay lives down my street.". "A lesbian", however, is perfectly fine. "Homosexual" sounds a little too clinical and is often used by trolls and homophobes, so I'd avoid it generally. We like "gay" just fine.

Answer 10

"homo sapiens sapiens", actually... some masculine homosexual men dislike the term 'gay' because it also seems to denote a degree of feminism (as in the term 'queen')....
One confrere (NOT homosexual) deliberately used the word 'gay' in its original context - not that he objected to the term being associated with homosexuals - because he felt it a loss of a perfectly good word!