My Ex and me broke up right after Thanksgiving. When I got home from New York, she accused me of doing something I didn't. She hasn't spoken to me since. She didn't even care about my side of the story. My Mom said that any excuse is as good as the next. That she wanted to get rid of me. I haven't done anything to her just lots and lots of things for her. I feel basically used. She told me so many times how much she loved me but how can someone who loves you just walk away and never return a call or an email? I haven't heard anything form her since the 30th of November. My bday was the 13th and she didn't even email to say a word. How do I get through to her? She won't return any of my emails. I'm basically tired of trying now. It's getting annoying. Any suggestions?
2007-01-15 23:08:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She probably found someone else while you were gone but rather than admit that, she is shifting the blame to you to make her feel better about dumping you. Give up and find someone who is there for you and not just for herself!!
2007-01-15 23:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It does not mean that she never loved you before. It means she has closed the chapter wherein you appear. She might have made the story in order to break up with you, but that's far better than if she remained in a loveless relationship. You would perpetually remain under the impression that you were being loved. Now that she has made her decision clear, it's your turn to move on. Hey, it hurts but you can come through this.
I don't want to assume that she's found someone new. She might be alone, but not interested in going on the relationship. She might have decided that unless she shuts off completely, both of you might get further hurt.
You might feel that you'd never make it with anybody else, but take it from me you'll be alright. You shall overcome. Just don't allow the situation to sag you down. There are many women out there who would warmly accept your love. Good luck!!!!
2007-01-16 07:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several good answers here already, but I want to talk about where to go from here.
First, when someone says, "I love you," that can mean a myriad of things. I often hear in counseling troubled marriages, "I don't know if I ever really loved him/her in the first place." My response is that they probably don't really know what love is in the first place. Their love wasn't the "til death do us part, forever and ever" kind of love, it was more like "what have you done for me today" kind of love. No matter what was said in the wedding vows few people actually mean what they're saying, as evidenced by our divorce rate. That's why I put a high value on pre-marital counseling and the discussion of what they're really saying in their vows. Don't blame her for being confused, she's in good company.
Secondly, write her a letter of closure, not an email. In your letter briefly state your side of the issue she accused you of so you can clear the air. Don't expect her to agree and change her mind, she probably has already headed in a different direction in her "love life." In your letter tell her the memories you enjoyed from your time together and that you will treasure those memories regardless of the demise of the marriage. Ask her if there is anything about you that you could change to be more acceptable in your future relationships. Tell her you will think of her often, but you are going on with your life and then go on with your life and leave her alone.
Finally, the normal inclination is to end one relationship and to start looking for another. Usually that's not a healthly mindset. My suggestion is that you take some time to clear your head/heart of the hurt suffered and get focused on who you are alone before you partner up again. Start imagining the kind of partner you would really like to spend the rest of your life with, how she looks, her likes and dislikes, etc., and then believe God for her to cross your path.
Your spouse leaving you could very well turn out to be one of the best things that ever happened in your life! Move on, go forward and get better. Peace!
2007-01-16 08:26:01 · answer #3 · answered by Blood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is to let it go. How many more hints do you need. You state you feel used there is a possibilty that you were so why do you want to enter back into such a negative relationship. Move on, find someone who genuinelly cares for you.
Passing the blame as your girl did is an easy option to get out of a relationship. Makes it a bit easier for her to have an excuse based on your fault. Your conscious is clear let her deal with it, you know you have did nil wrong, get out and enjoy
2007-01-16 07:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't about anything u have done, she accused u of the wrong u didn't do to justify getting rid of u, so she could find a reason, any reason would do really if someone don't want us. the problem lies when we fail to accept their choice, when we don't want to believe the obvious, we will remain in denial until we face the facts. staying in denial keeps us tied to that person with no more idea what to do than when they left us. she does not want to be with u, accept it, it happens, and we can't do anything about it, but start the grieving process, and get through it, and find someone else to love. takes time, and a strong will to get over the wrong done to us, that by the way we didn't cause or have anything to do with. stop taking the blame here, let her go, and accept it, and u will begin to heal, by not accepting it by continuing to ask why, we are not going to be able to move past it, and run the risk of becoming permanently depressed after awhile.
2007-01-16 12:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience years ago. A girl broke up with me and never gave me a reason why she did this. I called and even wrote her letters, but she never returned my calls and never replied to the letters. I got over her and moved on, and eventually found someone much better and we got married. The old girlfriend actually did me a favor, even though it was very difficult at first. You deserve an explanation from your ex, but you may never get one. The words "I love you" can be the most hurtful words in the world if they aren't meant. My ex never really loved me at all even though she said she did.
2007-01-16 07:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She found it so easy to walk out on you, do yourself a favour and get on with your life. You may thank her for it one day. It hurts I know but soon you will forget and find someone much better. It's unfortunate that it always happens like that. Your mum may be right. She just wanted an excuse to dump you. Hold your head high and enjoy your life. we never know whats on the other side.
2007-01-16 07:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by fluffy38 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as hard as it may be, u need to forget this person because she obviously doesnt care for u the same way u care for her. If your certain u didnt do anything wrong then u have nothing to feel bad about and eventually she will eighter come around or u will find someone who deserves u.
2007-01-16 07:25:49 · answer #8 · answered by elizaday83 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to contact her anymore, just let it go. She didn't give you a chance to explain anything and by her fasely accusing you, sounds like she was just using that as an excuse to end things.
2007-01-16 07:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SO be it, get on with your life and getting yourself another gal or gals as now that you are free... ENJOY your freedom... and has as much FUN as possible...
PS: Be safe than be sorry. Practice safe sex!!!
2007-01-16 07:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by Jason Lee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋