My mother and sister in law smoke like chimneys, they go outside when we go to their house per our request but my question is this. When one of them comes to babysit our 3 month old daughter who will be watching her while they step outside? How do I handle this one? They can't seem to understand that we don't want them smoking around her even though his sister has small children of her own.
2007-01-15
22:48:07
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12 answers
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asked by
addisonsmom17
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Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Newborn & Baby
The problem is when they both watch her they go out together and chit chat for longer than a baby this age should be left alone.
2007-01-15
22:55:20 ·
update #1
I simply told them either they can smoke outside or we won't be down to visit. Also...I have no problem paying a reliable babysitter but all I hear is how its a waste of money when they are both home all of the time and want to watch her. I would rather her have a smoke-free babysitter. I feel that when its a small baby they should not have their lungs filled with smoke!
2007-01-15
23:05:08 ·
update #2
i'm so glad to hear that you dont allow your family to smoke around your child. Maybe get some literature from your nurse or doctor on the dangers of smoking and leave them casually around the house for them to read, or tell them that you are going to get a babysitter who will look after your child properly because a young child should never be left alone whatever the reason.
Good luck, i know its harder to explain to a family member without hurting their feelings but your baby is relying on you to keep her safe and it sounds like your doing a great job.
2007-01-16 00:55:01
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answer #1
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answered by kittykisskisss 3
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If it is an occasional thing for them to be around your baby, I would just ask them to continue to step outside. If they are able to stand at a doorway with a baby monitor while the baby naps, it would be no beg deal. But if they can't wait for nap time to smoke, or your home is not where they can be right outside the door with a monitor, then I would get new sitters. They may work free or cheap, but you baby's health is worth the cost of hiring someone who you can order "Do not smoke while sitting". When my kid were babies, they only saw my parent (both smokers) once a year when we were on vacation. I just asked the folks not to smoke while holding the kids, since being in the room with smokers 10 days a year was not too terrible. You just have to do what feels safe for your daughter.
2007-01-15 23:02:20
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answer #2
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answered by mrslititia 5
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Well, ive never been shy about telling my family what i think. I say things to my brother all the time. Personally i would just make the kids a plate without asking for her permission. Your the host after all, its your prerogative to serve your guests in the way you choose. The discipline is a bit more tricky. Maybe you could suggest a spare bedroom to her when she starts yelling if its really uncomfortable for everyone. I agree that people should be able to parent as they see fit (within boundaries of course) but its not a matter of how the children are being raised when its in front of everyone, its a matter of simple social etiquette that shes flat out ignoring. Be gentle in bringing up these issues, and make sure your not sounding like your accusing her of being a "bad" parent. Just let her know that it makes others a bit uncomfortable when she starts yelling while everyone is around. Hopefully she will at least take it to another room of the house like a civilized person.
2016-05-24 22:06:51
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Whatever you do, don't keep them from babysitting. Isn't there a deck or porch with a see through door where they can step out? Come up with a plan that all will be satisfied. Don't get defensive and maybe they won't either. They both know it's a terrible habit, so don't read them the riot act. Just get together and decide the best solution for everyone.
2007-01-15 23:04:20
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answer #4
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answered by Gabby32 1
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Make you you discuss this situation BEFORE they ever babysit. Just put it plain and simple. No, need to be mean, be polite...I would just stae, they are more then welcomed to come and babysit, however, you do not want the baby left alone. If they want to go smoke, please take turns, so someone is always with the baby (Don't say keeping an on on, say "with") If they can't comply with ruls in your home, find other means for a baby sitter. I do have to warn you...Chances are if the baby is at their house, it is going to be their rules.
2007-01-15 23:24:02
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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If your worried about your child being watched so that they can go out to smoke then you probably shouldnt ask them to babysit a three month old cant be left alone for five minutes and its lungs cant handle the smoke,Im sure they can go a few hours without if not thier lack of self discipline may warrant some therapy
2007-01-15 22:56:40
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answer #6
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answered by JOHN D 6
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Are they stepping into the backyard, or the next county? Who's watching the baby when they go to the toilet?
At any rate, the solution is simple: find another babysitter if bothered.
Re. details you added: okay. You _definitely_ need to find another babysitter -- not because they're smokers, but because they're kind of stupid. Hmm. Is the issue their smoking, or their going outside, presumably out of earshot and sight, for extended periods? I'm confused.
I assume they actually are going out for genuinely extended periods and not in sight or earshot, yes?
Be reasonable about that. I assume you and the father sleep at times.
2007-01-15 22:54:23
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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So your issuse isn't the fact that they are smokers, but that you feel they are irresponsable in caring for your child? Try approaching them from that amgle-your concerned for your child being unsupervised no matter what activity the sitter is particapating in.
Wouldn't it be okay if they took a baby monitor outside with them?
2007-01-16 01:35:56
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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They go outside when you visit them? WOW how amazingly kind of them. When I smoked (3 years ago) I would never have refused to smoke in my own home., if you don't like my smoking in my own house, You leave. Simple! You should recognise their kindness and thank them.
As for their smoking at your place, they should always recognise and respect your wishes in your house and not smoke, but if they do, the risks of a small amount of exposure to second hand smoke is massively overstated. Your baby is far more at risk everyday from traffic fumes, pollution and the chemical additives in foods and drink. Particularly the poisons of aspartame and flouride.
2007-01-15 23:00:49
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answer #9
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answered by kenhallonthenet 5
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I just wouldn't let anyone who smokes babysit for my daughter. Call another family member who doesn't smoke.
2007-01-16 00:05:13
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answer #10
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answered by Erika 7
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