my husband is very rude to me...?

Question

im married for 6yrs,with 2 kids.my father is an ill tempered p[erson.earlier my huband was very caring and loving but now he has changed,he behaves rudely with me and if i say anything he compares with my dad.he does not express his love to me also...if i say i love him,he doesnt even reply back.when we make love he doesnt even touch me...i just feel so dejected and sad.he doesnt want me to say anything and my point of view he doesnt consider.even in our financial decisions i have no say...even decesions about our kids.i feel like a dumbo...i love him immensely and there is no way that i can let go of him...im losing it and dont know what to do.no point arguing cos no one can win with him...he thinks he is RIGHT!!

Answer 1

The reason why he became so rude to you is because you are being too emortionally dependent to him. Since you love him and can't imagine your life without him, divorce is not the option you would take. First, stop telling him you love him. These words only spoil him. Just be nice as a wife and as a mother, start some activities you enjoy, like reading, watching movie, going out with your girlfriends, playing tennis, whatever. Live your own life WITHOUT him. It's the only way to gain his attention back to you. Be a happy person yourself is the best treatment for everything. Good luck!

Answer 2

I've read over a bunch of the answers, and some people have some great points. First, it totally depends on your culture background, country. If you have spent your life being told that you have to have a man around, that to be married with children is your goal in life, then you may just have to suck it up, and deal with his abuse.

However, my personal opinion is that this man is an abusive idiot. He treats you the way he does BECAUSE HE IS AN IDIOT AND INSECURE with himself. He needs to have total control and power over you because he doesn't have control and power over himself and his own identity. As far as him being stressed about work or something like that, THAT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. If he goes to work and has a bad day, he needs to leave that at the door when he comes home. It's one thing to listen to his troubles at the end of the day and sympathize, it's another to take the total brunt of his anger because he had a bad day at work!

And as far as you "can't let him go". You can and will when it's the right time for you. For your sake, I hope that is soon. No one deserves to be treated the way you are being treated, and your children certainly do not deserve to see their mother upset and have a role model like their father...they are learning to do exactly what he does...do you want your son to treat someone the way your husband treats you? do you want your daughter to feel the way you do?. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children so they don't grow up and do the same thing!

Best of luck, I really do hope that a miracle happens and you can work things out, but if not, I wish you all the best, it's not easy, but having your children see their mother happy is much healthier for them!

Answer 3

At the core of most marital conflicts lies an overlooked but vicious culprit: disrespect. According to Dr. James Dobson, this symptom is the most serious indicator of potential family breakup. In his groundbreaking classic that popularized the "tough love" principle, Dr. Dobson offers practical help for the spouse who wants to hold the marriage together. He shows how to rekindle romantic interest and draw the offending partner back home. For new generations faced with ever-increasing threats to stable and loving bonds, "Love Must Be Tough" offers realistic hope.

Answer 4

i know u must have tried to make the relationship enjoying and fulfilling but still there are many probs which you are facing.....try to know the reason for his such behaviour.........one more tip i would like to give....look a thing interests you till you dont get it right? so now become something your hubby would like to get.wat i mean to say is that these days u want your hubbys luv ....change in such a manner that he longs for ur luv....make him feel that its OK for u whether he says i luv u or not....do regular chores but dont show love to him .even when he asks to make luv do so but show some value...dont jump into bed...u know make urself wanted and desired.....excite him do watever...n also make ur frens who will definitely help u......but use this tip to the extent that he wants u not to the extent that he learns to live without u...and remember getting seperated is not the answer to every prob in married life.....u have 2 kids and u spent sweet 6 years with him
hope u will get over this prob and would enjoy your with him
take care

Answer 5

you have to realize that sometimes we can love someone and still not live with him or her. It sounds like he may even be having an affair perhaps but try to look back and see when he changed and perhaps you may find something you can do about that.
Although you do not want to let him go, I promise you that if he continues this way you will be happier getting a divorce and finding someone to love who will love you in return!!

Answer 6

Princess.......all that u could do now is remaining silent........u say he thinks he is right.......let him think......let him go on his way...... if u really love him try to tell him that u are longing for his love and u are no where if he isnt.....if he still doesnt fail to understand u and your feelings......stay apart for few days....even in the same home.......same environment.......just behave as if u don care for him.......and let this not be for more than a week.......let him feel that he misses u and how important u are to him......but handle it with care........i have given u a two edged sword.......if not handled properly.......it may lead to someother problem........

Try this if u can really make him know your love.......

Answer 7

I'm really sorry to hear all this and sympathize with you, but as hard as it is you either should convince him to go to couple counseling w/u or leave him, there's only so much you can take and one way or another you'll have enough of it one day. If you're thinking if your children, then you'll be doing them a favor as growing up in that kind of environment is very unhealthy for them as well.

good luck and god bless

Answer 8

only love and consistancy can win him over. what u need is keep on loving coz love is not a noun its a verb, its a sort of costant job. if u ,as u r doing, keep on ur work; a day will come when he will realise the wrongs he is doing and that will be the day when u will get all the dues paied.

Answer 9

Stop thell him that you love him, and explain him that you are equals, and talk with him about the possibility to divorce, if he dont change his behaviour.
Thell him that you are not his property, and show him the same atitude like he shows you.
Iff you want to be respected you must to be respectable, including pride, be in vertical position, defend your ideaas and so on.
You must to rewin your selfrepsect first, and afther that to impose this to him.
It could be dificult but not impossible!
Good luck!

Answer 10

obvious this is only your version of what's happening.

something has happened that has turned him off to you. did you gain weight after the kids? do you keep yourself up, like keep clean all over, personal grooming, personal hygiene?

normal men hate smelly overweight and hairy women. some women let themselves go after having litters of children and it's not fair to the man.

he may have a secret love that he is hiding from you and that may be why he's turned off by you. you may have driven him away into another womans arms...