I need help really badly. An old friend of mine fell pregnant with a bloke that I have never liked, me and this girl have always been friends but we had a row because of him. I then met my boyfriend as he is good mates with her boyfriend and have since discovered that I will need IVF treatment if we ever want children. I feel so bad for feeling like this but we completely stopped talking because she was pregnant. Not just because of my stubborness and spitefulness but because she used it as an advantage and a disability and I dont agree with that. I have always wanted a girl and secretly hoped sahe had a boy because then I might get one up on her (I know I sound Horrible), but she had a little girl last night. I am happy for them dont get me wrong but I am not interested in going to see it, how much it weighs etc and I do feel bad but I cannot get the hatred out of my head. Its not like Im with that with everyone, u may think Im jealous and I am I suppose but what can I do ????
2007-01-15 21:58:27 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Swallow you stubborn pride and go visit her, let her have her moment, and be glad for her.
she is the one with sleepless nights and dirty nappies to change for a while.
2007-01-15 22:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
So, you're jealous. There is reason to be jealous. Some people get pregnant really easily, some people need a lot of medical help, some people are just infertile and have to accept that they will have to foster or adopt.
Letting jealousy get in the way of your friendship and other relationships though, is something you need to deal with. At the very least, you need to do it because most of us were not conceived by perfect people in ideal situations. Most of us owe our beginnings to an unplanned mistake. You too, were once just an egg in the right place at the right time.
Secondly, negative emotions are stopping you from taking control of what you can control about your own fertility. IVF is not a game. The treatment itself is going to take your complete dedication emotionally, physically and spiritually. It will be a handicap, but you will still have to work and do your other duties. Physical and emotional responses are not beliefs you can have until you experience them and recognise every woman is different.
You also have to save energy for your own self care. Doing yoga, laughing, alternative medical treatments and other activities (links to the main article below) can all help improve the odds that your IVF treatments will be successful.
And, I really hope you are successful and will have the family of your dreams. Good luck.
2007-01-15 22:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by baggyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt that for a long time whenever friends and close family members fell pregnant. My bro and his wife had been trying for 10 years to have a baby and when we all found out they were expecting I was overjoyed, jealous and full of envy, even tho by then I had 2 girls of my own I still wanted more and couldnt. When my niece was born (3 other girls in the family were born at the same time) I couldnt see her or even talk to my bro about her without crying my eyes out. I felt so selfish, there she was in Intensive Care (even at 10lbs 2oz) as her mum has developed diabeties. I realise that all good things come to those who wait just as my niece had come into the world to my bro - she is the most precious gift they could ever have and how could I be jealous and envious of her when I had to of those gifts myself. Talk bout change of prespective. My girls are 17 and 14 now, I have a 8yr old step daughter too and am waiting for results on my preg test this wk - fingers crossed - ALL good things come to those who wait - please do go and see your friend your disliking of her partner is not her fault or that of the baby - good luck with the IVF too x
2007-01-15 22:15:37 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can tell you how to feel or what ot do.
But it does sound like you've got alot on yourplate just now and this has all manifested itself in you.
If I were you I woul djust send a little card with best wishes on it. It is alot to exoect you to visit even without the argument. Not been able to have children naturally can be alot to get your head around.
But at the end of the day do you want her to be thinking y our being spiteful by not sending your best. She probably misses you alot. She has been through more than anyone cna understand.
and if she is doing this all for the wrong reasons then hopefully soon it will turn to the right ones when she bonds with her daughter.
Dont punish yourself for this but try and do the right thing
2007-01-15 22:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy is a natural feeling, but you need to grow up as you can't just throw away ppl in your life because your jealous of what you're lacking in your life... and yes, you do sound like a childish jealous person, which is horrible. You know it yourself so work on changing your view of the world.
2007-01-15 22:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that the baby is born, your friend will need you now more than ever. She will need help with the baby and she will need you there to talk to when she is exhausted and miserble.
Swallow your pride, buy some flowers and a babygrow and get yourself off to see her NOW.
Tell her you are sorry about the fight you had and that you have missed seeing her these past few days.
2007-01-15 22:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, it's perfectly natural to feel like that, given the circumstances. I'd say just put that aside and at least pretend to be happy for them, but I don't know how I would respond to something such as this.
2007-01-15 22:03:22 · answer #7 · answered by actor_girl_1986 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand you would feel upset, because you need to have IVF treatment and she seems to have everyting you crave for, maybe in time you will come around and not feel so negative towards her in the future.
2007-01-15 22:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up. If this is the way you behave then you shouldn't be thinking about having children right now. Sort yourself out, become an adult and then ask yourself why on earth you would be making such a big deal about something so petty.
2007-01-15 22:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by Diarmid 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you need to get this outta your system, go speak to her and see the baby, i understand your feelings coz i can't have children either. Don't worry bout it tho, let her show off her baby, it won't be long til she needs her friend to moan to about sleepless nights, teething babies and dirty nappies. Be a good friend. The guy can't be that bad if your boyfriend likes him...
2007-01-15 22:27:41 · answer #10 · answered by nelli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ; you are just grieving in a way for the fact that you are going to have to go through various procedures to get pregnant instead of just letting nature take its course. try and be happy for them and go and see the baby when you are ready. in the meantime send flowers and a nice present.
2007-01-15 22:03:49 · answer #11 · answered by D B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋