We have been married for 6yrs had our ups and downs but pulled through each time. Things appeared good when disaster struck. We visited my daughter and partner she is 24, while there my husband was left alone in the house while we went out to the local supermarket. He saw here mobile phone and decided to have a look to see if she had any new jokes ie. [the ones people text each other with pictures ,sometimes rude] He came across some personel photos of herself that she had sent to her partner as he works away alot.[very personel] My husband then proceeded to download these to his own phone.He was found out as he had not turned of the infa red on her phone because he was disterbed by har partner returning home.I did not get to know about this untill 2 days later as my daughter was embarrased about the content of her photos. When I confronted my husband his answer was [it was curiosity thats all!] and addmited all. I was disgusted and to keep the story brief, left him .filed for divorce.
2007-01-15 21:53:07 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stepdaughter
2007-01-15 22:31:36 · update #1
He's disguisting. You're right.
2007-01-15 21:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
let's see...married 6 years....daughter is 24. So i'm taking your husband isn't the father of your 24 y/o daughter. With this in mind, pretty much all men are attracted to younger females. Since this is not "his" daughter biologically, it may not be "gross" for him to see her "personal" pictures.....nude i'm guessing. He can be "curious" ...us guys are like that. She was already a woman when you guys were married, 18. He probably never developed the "father" roll with her so instincts weren't telling him it was wrong. The fact that he was honest about it when confronted is a good thing. He didn't come clean on his own because he knew he shouldn't have done it. He made a mistake, but admitted it when asked....probably embarassed actually. Divorce might be a little strong. It's no different than if he had playboy nudies hidden from you.....the only difference is, it's your daughter. That's why it bothers you the most. But remember, he doesn't have the bond with her like you. She's not his daughter so although he knows it's wrong because it's your daughter, doesn't mean he's not intrigued like he would be with the young vixens in playboy..........there's no bond.
2007-01-15 22:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by dylancv62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that was severe enough to cause divorce.
It sounds like a convenient excuse for you to escape.
There is a whole lot of stupid in this story.
You don't do naked pictures if you don't want anyone to see them.
You do not snoop in other people's phone.
You do not get divorced over something so minor.
You all had better take a step back and think a little about your behavior.
That you would give up on a marriage over this really shows why you will never be married long term, ever.
2007-01-15 22:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think going down the divorce road is taking it a bit too far!! firstly, if your daughter had personal pictures on her phone she should have a lock on her phone in the event someone could pick up her phone etc. common sense! secondly your husband was wrong to snoop, but like he said it was genuinely for jokes. his only wrong doing is downloading these private pictures to his own phone. thats inexcusable, but not unforgiveable. i would be p......d off with him if it were me, and made sure he knew about it for some time. but to go as far as leaving him and filing for divorce is too extreme sorry!!!
i would sit him down and really make it clear that what he did was morally wrong, but try to reconcile with him taking things day to day. perhaps counselling for both of you to rebuild the trust would help. its probably a good idea that he's not around your daughter and her husband until this matter blows over. if you had a solid relationship before this happened, then why divorce??? its not over unless you want it to be over. tell your daughter to lock her phone in future, that would be my advice as a parent myself. good luck, hope you make the right choice. don't let anyone else do it for you. its your marriage/life at the end of the day. your daughter is obviously upset at what he's done, but make it clear to her also that you have to make your own decision if there is any interference on her part which has led you to the extreme decision of divorce.
2007-01-15 22:07:11 · answer #4 · answered by emzc 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, he's a pervert. To begin with, if he had any integrity at all he would have NEVER picked up something that didn't belong to him. Then to see those pixs was bad enough, but to download them? What did he plan to do with them after he downloaded them?? EWWWWW
Your daughter did you a favor. I know it hurts now, but it would only hurt more later when he did something else equally as disturbing. You did the right thing. He wouldn't change overnight and he sure didn't even seem apologetic. So the behavior would most likely continue.
2007-01-15 22:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by Marissa M 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You must be totally devastated you poor thing. He is one sick puppy and the further away you and any other female that knows him the better. Do you have a good friend that you can sit and chat with otherwise go and see a councillor, you do need someone at this terrible time
2007-01-15 22:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by kerrynlinda 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not at all ... that is your daughter after all, and he was acting just like a perverted jerk with porn. You need to be able to trust a spouse not to stray, not to abuse the relationship, and to treat your daughter as HIS daughter ... by downloading the pictures, your husband basically was saying "Hey, I've got to have these pictures! This will be great to look back at and see again!"
You don't need that in your's or your daughter's life.
2007-01-15 21:59:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Curiosity doesn't download pictures to their phone, looking probably could work out the issue but the action in downloading speaks far louder. I think you made a wise choice.
2007-01-15 22:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ivory 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well if thats the only reason for a divorce i guess if thats good enuf for you then you did the right thing.He sounds a little twisted to me.Hard to let go of that.Good Luck
2007-01-15 22:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by P.Bunyun 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You did the right thing. He is a disgusting creep and a sicko. Also your dau. should sue the s**t out of him.
2007-01-15 23:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong. You should be angry. But don't file a divorce for something like that. Try to talk about it with him and work something out.
2007-01-15 21:59:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋