My girlfriend & i have been going out for over a year. We're 19 & both virgins. We've tried unsuccessfully to have sex, & everytime I put the condom on, and in the missionary position attempt to insert. (Politest way of saying that!). It never happens, and its more to do with me that anything else. I get so stressed worrying about where exactly it goes, that I get all nervous and lose my erection. Then she gets angry and starts laughing at me.
I feel like the biggest idiot in the world, and I'm not really sleeping. What can I do in future to make sure it works. & Yes I am ready to have sex and so is she, foreplay's great!
2007-01-15 20:56:39 · 8 answers · asked by g s 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
why do you worry about where it goes, it only goes on one place. (i guess just poke around untill it goes in, sorry if that sounds offensive to any girls ou there). i don't think she cares seeing as she is a virgin as well, she should be helping you rather than laughing at you.
2007-01-15 21:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is lauging at you for not being able to perform, then she does not care about your feelings and needs to be kicked to the curb!!! What a....I will try to restrain myself.
It is perfectly understandable that you are nervous, having never penetrated a woman before. Try not thinking about it. Use foreplay as a way to get the condom on so that you are focusing on that one thing. Try having her put it on (if you insist on staying with someone who is emotionally abusive!). Instead of focusing on what you are about to do, focus on how it feels to have her hands touching you. Focus on how your body is feeling and the sensations you are experiencing. Once it is on, contiue with foreplay for a few minutes then let the penetration happen naturally.
It is not all you. If she is laughing at you, it is her fault as well. She is putting too much pressure on you. If she really loved you, she would tell you that everything was alright and not get upset. She would try to help you relax, not belittle you. If she really loved you she would be happy with just cuddling if things went no where. Her laughing at you is only going to put more stress on you and make it less likely that you will succeed the next time, because you will be dreading the result of failure. If she loved you, she would not see it as failure but would see it as an enticing obsticle just waiting to be straddled...I mean over come. :)
I hope everything works out for you. And I hope you either give that silly, immature little girl a good idea of how it makes you feel when she laughs at you (let her know that her laughing is only going to prolong her wait), or better yet, tell her she can laugh all she wants at someone else and look for love else where. (She is not healthy to be around.)
2007-01-16 05:12:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, ur g/f is not being very nice at laughing at u if u are new to the whole thing. she's one to talk since she's a virgin too. secondly, it might take a fewq tries to make it work. just try easing it in. rock back and forth, slowly, and soon enough it should penetrate her. she also may be "tight" and a little difficult for u to get inside of her. my b/f and I have trouble every once and a while. if ur big and she's tiny, it'll definitely make it a bit harder to have sex, especially in the beginning. just keep trying and dont let ur g/f hurt ur feelings by laughing at you. that's just mean. the sex part will happen eventually, don't worry.
2007-01-20 00:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Brig 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I agree with everyone else that says get rid of a girl that's going to laugh at you. It doesn't sound like she's nervous as well, she would have more compassion.
Now, if you're going to stay with her...after you slip on the condom, use your hand and fingers to guide you or do it with the lights on and look. If you're both comfortable with each other then this won't make either of you nervous. Love making/sex shouldn't be a stressful time. Relax and explore...have fun!
2007-01-16 06:06:03 · answer #4 · answered by st3psp8 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, you may have "performance anxiety".
For now, forget about the sex.
Just get some massage lotion & both of you strip. Have her lay on the bed, & start massaging her arms, legs, back, neck, etcetera. Take your time. Light some candles. Put some instrumental music on.
You'll be focusing on intimacy; not on sex. But, chances are good that within a little time, you'll be sporting a woodie & ready to go.
So; go!
2007-01-16 05:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not a problem at all. Just direct it in the right place. Don't be shy and watch where it goes if you are so worried.
And don't think about it so much! Relax yourself and enjoy!
P.S.: and be sure that your gf is relaxed too. Her laughing doesn't mean that really-it's the way to ease an uncomfortable situation.
2007-01-16 06:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by Natalya Ch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to read this article http://www.healthadel.com/articles/9/1/Depression-Treatments/Page1.html i found will be useful also has info on different treatments.
2007-01-16 17:50:09 · answer #7 · answered by gooner1212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hai loose ..... do the work in the time .Then you will miss out every thing what you have at present...
2007-01-16 05:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by natarajan p 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋