If my boyfriend has pushed or shoved me, is that considered physical abuse? Recently while away on 'holiday' we had a big fight, & he was verbally abusive, he just got home very drunk & got angry, I dont even know why, continued to yell for two hours, he pushed me reasonably hard 3 times, threw smashed glasses towards me, not at me... We had another fight & he emotionally blackmailed me, said he was going to leave if I refused to agree to have a threesome (not there & then, but some other unknown time)... I wanted to leave him then, but was scared of being alone in a foreign country, & other reasons...
Now we're home, He's being nice again, he says he's sorry, I do care about him, but I know that anger is still in him, & cant forgive & know another fight will come up. I dont know what to do, wait for for another fight so its easier to leave him when I know the temper that's inside. It's just hard! Is pushing considered physical abuse? Please help.
2007-01-15 20:05:42 · 9 answers · asked by idk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
With just the verbal abuse already that is not a good sign. You usually get treated the best when you are dating and if you are having these things already the relationship does not look very well down the road. Think of it this way if my boyfriend pushes me hard and I fall down a flight of steps due to his pushing me is that physcial abuse? If you already see his temper that is not a good sign and I would not want a long term relationship with him until he went to get help with his temper or could prove to me for a long time he had his temper under control. It is not worth risking you own life to be with someone that cannot control there self.
2007-01-15 20:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Ginny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read some articles online. I believe abuse escalates. At first maybe there are a few harsh words towards you (name calling and such) and then a push here and there and then more. If a man threatens to break up the relationship if you don't have a threesome then this, in my opinion, is not the man you want to be with. If you mutually agree that you want a 3some then that's ok. You said he came home drunk and then behaved this way. Drinking is not an excuse for being abusive. Don't start making excuses for him or you will enable him to behave this way. You deserse someone who will treat you with respect. Respect yourself, make it clear that this behavior will not be tolerated. Tell him you don't want to have a 3some and if that is more important that your relationship then let him move on.
2007-01-15 22:02:24 · answer #2 · answered by denise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is physical abuse! If he shoves/ pushes you out of anger (other than joking around to annoy you), it is an abuse. Being under influence or drunk is not an excuse to be abusive.
You should think over if you want to be with him because he already made threats to leave you if you're not following his desires. It was threesome thing, and next maybe money, next who knows what... you will be forced to obey, and that's not even a guarantee that he's going to treat you right if you do whatever he wants.
2007-01-15 20:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a smart girl by the why you can express your self and feelings...
So this will be no suprize to you when i say that NO he's not going to change and that YES it's only going to get worse...
Dont wait untill a other fright to brake away from him because then you leave in the heat of the moment while you feel angry and you'll find that you will return to him....YOU need to leave because you have decided your not putting up with it anymore .
2007-01-15 20:22:29 · answer #4 · answered by priscilla d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No guy should ever use abusive language or lay a hand on a gal. Since he's doing both, he's not one who's worth your love or care. There are better fishes in the ocean so why waste time on a small fish in the drain.
2007-01-15 21:36:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse can be physical, verbal, or emotional. Abuse is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in the relationship.
You're boyfriend is insecure and therefore uses bully-tactics to "control" everyone around him. He is a bully.
I think you already know the answer to your question.
My answer is move-on to someone who isn't an insecure little bully.
2007-01-16 05:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know its not good just think if your mom had the same thing you would tell her to get out now {RIGHT} same with you it will never get better might stay the same or get bad with him but if he is doing this he is only there to put ya down so he feels better.he will always take it out on you if he gets stressed out you can find another guy there is alot out there just learn from this its why it hap-pend to you. or if you ever have kids what will ya do then huh, teach them its ok to treat people like that just think girl.get a good guy that loves you NOT what you do for him.
2007-01-15 20:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be considered abusive behavior, and if was not just one incident I would be especially weary and careful, because you don't want to have to deal with this. Get out if it happens again, if not now.
2007-01-15 20:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this IS abuse, he will NOT change, it WILL get WORSE. get out now, before you're married, before kids, etc.
2007-01-16 03:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by nerdy girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋