He just told me it's been long now that he just open it & he's afraid to tell me bec. I might leave him. I already forgave him but when I remember it, it hurts me a lot. He said he loves me that's why he opened it to me that time longing for sex bec. he's far from me working overseas. If he loves me he should think about it first before doing it. Do he still deserve my love inspite of those things. I love him that's why I accepted him and he promise me that he won't do it again. Need advice to continue loving him.
2007-01-15 17:26:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you love him but have trouble understanding his behaviour. Which is quite normal under the circumstances. Absence or a long distance relationships can make it difficult but it is no excuse for infidelity after all you have had to abstain as well. There is two ways of looking at his confession one he feels the need for honest open communication and shared his sin or two now he has told you the guilt has now transferred to you meaning you are now the one emotionally dealing with it. Seeing he has had sex outside your relationship and it could be more than two people you need to go and have yourself tested for STD s To resume normal intimate relations with you he too needs to go and have tests done. Whilst wating for the all clear you two can now start to rebuild your relationship and he is going to have to do more of the work in order to gain your trust.. The power now becomes yours, the decision to resume your relationship is now yours, gain that power and use it to your advantage I don't mean via manipulation but by setting boundaries in your relationship. Firstly he needs to take responsibility for his actions you might be away but he chose to have sex with someone else there are other personal means of satisfaction if the urge is so great. Many an affair has caused a relationship breakdown but has also in many ways saved some because it makes people acknowledge the reality of loosing their loved one and address the issues presenting. For him to stray there would have been other issues as well that you both need to address. Dont ignore it it wont go away.
2007-01-15 17:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband how forgiving he would be if you got sex from a male prostitute. After all, women need sex too!
Hopefully, he's being honest when he said this was the only cheating he's done.
You are the only one who can decide if he's worth it. Do you believe that he's being honest? Will you be able to trust him again? What about when he goes out of the country again?
Make sure you're willing to live with his past if you decide tto stay. If you can get over it and trust him, there's your answer. If you can't get over the hurt, you probably should walk away. Good luck and remember, there are some men out there who don't cheat.
2007-01-15 17:36:23 · answer #2 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound mean but if he truly loves you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. And to add insult to injury, a prostitute? It is great that you have forgave him not only for him, but for yourself as well so you can heal and move on with your life. I'm pretty sure that he will always have a place in your heart because at one point in time you guys truly loved each other. But if he did it a second time, then that is totally disrespectful to you. People deserve to love and to be loved but they sure as hell don't deserve to be treated like s**t. If you feel in your heart that you can trust him, then there is light at the end of the tunnel but if not, then don't put yourself through that. Ask him and yourself these questions:Is it really worth us trying to make our relationship work? What did I do to you to make you go out and cheat on me? If you did it to me twice, how do I know you won't do it again? Why should I trust you? Remember, he did that to you, you didn't do anything to him so make sure he doesn't try to change the scenario by acting like he is the victim. Hope everything will work out for you!!
2007-01-15 17:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by frakmomma04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time maybe he deserves to be forgiven but not a second time. I would not put up with cheating of any kind there are to many diseases out there that can be passed to you. It does not matter where you work that is no excuse at all if he really loves you he would have never cheated in the first place.
I say you should move on and be strong..
2007-01-15 17:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by lisa_sonydadc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating with a prostitute shows a problem in the bedroom-not the relationship. He may merely want something there you are not willing to give (oral, anal, some fetish). If the relationship was bad he would have found a new relationship; NOT just a sex partner. It's like deciding you don't want your car anymore cause some funky kid took a joyride in it. If the rest of the car is fine (and one hell of an investment) then you wipe the seats off, get her detailed and drive on...
2007-01-15 17:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by D4gotten1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally I feel that you should be able to answer the question yourself rather than us. What you worry is that if you continue to love him, he will betrayed you once again.
If your husband loves you truly, he should not have done such a thing. Did he think of the consequences when he have sex with prostitute. So the final decision is with rather you than us.
2007-01-15 23:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to haer about that. but whatever has been done is done and rest comforted that he still have a conscience to tell you that.
do you still love him? is it worth divorcing him because of such and regret later? if your answer is no and still loves him . . .
give him another chance and that would be the last! make sure he remembers that and understands!
think of the children and not yourselves when deciding such for its the children who suffers.
the pain will be there for a long, long time but take it as a lesson in your marriage for him and hope it would be better.
think with your head and not heart . . . good luck.
2007-01-15 20:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by Peggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That' s really for you to decide. You can still love him and not want to be with him. Love isn't an on/off thing.
And honey if he really loved you "It wouldv'e brought him home in that moment of weakness."
And a person can say they won't do something again, but how much is saying that really worth?
2007-01-15 17:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by gravytrain036 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men had sex with prostitude and didn't tell the wife. As least he told you, shown that he is serious and love you. But whether want to forgive him or not is up to you, as you can never forget what he did.
2007-01-15 17:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cheating is not allowed by either party, no matter what the circumstances are.
2007-01-15 17:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋