we dated for 2 yrs in the past but broke up because we argued too much. and his parents raised him like a king so he's... a tad bit spoiled. ANYWAY he dated this new girl afterwards for about a month, but when he got in a fight with her, he lied to me by telling me he was going to dump her, and used me to cheat on her (the next day he changed his mind about dumping her). this is the big reason why i'm posting this question. after she dumped him (bc they also argued) he started dating someone new. then she ended up going for her ex. after a couple weeks, he wants me back. he says he's going to change... but i don't know what to think. we got back together... but there was a time when he was already moving on without me. i wanted to be friends with benefits, but he started putting my pictures on his dorm wall and being really nice like he was when we used to be serious. and now he says that he won't have sex with me unless we have a relationship. i love him but i'm confused as he**.
2007-01-15 16:50:30 · 7 answers · asked by stelze 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
we dated for 2 yrs but argued a lot.he mentioned marriage.i dumped him out of nowhere.5 months later,we tried to make it work again but break up.i force myself to see other guys,but can't stop thinking of my x.he moves on and starts a new relationship.after a month,he gets in a huge fight with her/tells me he's going to dump her/uses me for sex/next day changes his mind.this shook me bc he's not the type to cheat.she dumps him for other reasons.i later find out from the girl that they never had sex.during this,i meet a guy that's ok,but still not as great as my x.my x sees a new girl but spends way more time with me than her.she ended up going for her x anyway.2 weeks later,my x puts my pics on his dorm wall/wants to hold hands.we makeout.i still love him but am afraid.i tell him i only want friendship.he is hurt/ignores me.i agree to give him another chance bc we're best friends but the only thing in the way is our love that never goes away.so i think it's worth another try.
ADVICE?
2007-01-15 17:39:24 · update #1
Why would you want to be friends with benefits with someone who jumps from girl to girl? It sounds like he runs whenever there is a disagreement. That isn't very mature. Sounds like he's using all of you and he really doesn't know what he wants, except that he wants a girlfriend, any girlfriend who will be a doormat.
Let him get his act together before you give yourself to him. You deserve better.
2007-01-15 16:56:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, it seems as if this guy doesn't know what he wants and you don't want to end up a door mat because the more you let him use you like this the more he's gonna do it once some little cutie fancy pancty comes prancing around him. You can do better if you need (u no what) that much then you can go find someone else who won't treat you like that but it's comepletely up to you. I wouldn't even have sex with him I would get my life right with Christ and say whatever to everything else and God will send you someone who loves Him(God) because someone who loves God, fears Him and the more he fears God the less you have to worry about being dissapointed
2007-01-16 01:04:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUMP HIM!!!! If he is confusing you this much now, imagine what it will be like later on in your relationship if you do get serious. You will need a therapist just to sift through it all. Don't bother with him and move on, you can pick any guy off the street that would be happy to be a friend with benefits without the relationship.
2007-01-16 01:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by LilyDragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will admit it: when a guy says he wants to be friends with benefits (and it doesn't sound like this guy did) he just wants to have sex. This guy doesn't seem to have any interest in you for who you are.
This guy clearly mistreats/uses/lies to/doesn't seem to care about the girls he "dates". He used you to cheat on another girl and simultaneously lied to you telling you he was going to dump her? That's just sleazy, I'm sorry!
He is never going to change. When he says that, it's just one more of the ways he lies to girls.
It sounds to me as though he's afraid of being single, afraid of not being seen with a girl on his arm.
I'd like to say one last thing. Even men who beat women can be really "sweet and loving" for a while. Then they go right back to beating them.
The things he says to you are all a part of his strategy for keeping you around as his backup girl. Your confusion is also part of that; he's very probably using that against you.
I think you deserve far, far better than that. I think you deserve a man who wants to be with you because nobody else is good enough, not because nobody else is available.
Do yourself a favor and move on from him.
One more question: what else was on his dorm room walls along with your pictures? Take a good look. I'm betting it will tell you something.
Good luck!
2007-01-16 01:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up, open your eyes and grow up. Your "relationship" with this guy is bound to fail. Don't aggravate the situation by fawning over him and the idiotic way he treats you. Carry on with your life, you are bound to find someone who doesn't treat you like a door mat. He is an hypocrite and will only make your life hell in the long run. Think about it and I hope you will realize that he is playing with your emotions. Live your life to the fullest, don't get bogged down with a "relationship" that is only bringing you grief. Good luck. Cheers!
2007-01-16 01:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer hasn't changed ... LOSE HIM!! Answer to last post:
"This guy is very bad news!! Get as far away from him as you can! He uses people then throws them away. No one deserves to be treated like a candy wrapper. He's not going to change, his personality disorder is already fully cemented. Find someone who will see you as a person and not a thing. It's going to hurt, but so does cancer surgery, and, baby, you've got a big cancer in this guy."
Good luck ... oh, and did I say ... LOSE HIM!!
2007-01-16 00:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him...why???
2007-01-16 01:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋