what can i ask to find out if a person is a lesbian with out putting them or myself on the spot?
2007-01-15 16:17:10 · 11 answers · asked by carmenapple33 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I take it you are afraid of offending this person if she turns out not to be lesbian.
That is a ticklish predicament.
Generally I observe people to interpret a good many of their inner workings.
Observing body language and how they walk, manner of speech and tone of voice especially in reference to when they are speaking to a woman or a man, If I have been to their home I take note of how it is decorated, what sort of reading material (if any) do they have laying around, what type of music and favored artists do they listen to, artwork it usually a big tip off, what are their hobbies and are they more masculine or feminine in orientation, have they mentioned any dating history or recent outings and other details too numerous to mention.
I can usually decipher a person's orientation and whether or not they are aware of it or have acted on it.
but when all else fails I would probably be lazy and just take the direct route and ask.
You might just say that you do not want to pry but you were wondering if she would share some of her romantic history with you just because you were curious.
That is a way to ask without labeling.
Or I don't mean to offend you but I was just wondering if you might be gay?
Other than that I got nothin'.
But Justine is quite right if you have just met her you better hold off for a while.
It's one thing to ask someone you are becoming friends with but quite another to pose the question to a virtual stranger.
2007-01-15 16:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by octopussy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can introduce yourself by announcing your sexuality and then ask them theirs. "Hi I'm Betty, I'm a lesbian, how bout you?"
You'll get one answer or another. If you can't afford to be put on the spot, then don't ask people personal questions.
2007-01-15 16:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't ask someone you don't know very well what their orientation is without putting them out or on the spot.
2007-01-15 16:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
just carefully flirt softly and see what her reaction is.. i'm sure most lesbians realize how tough it is to approach someone about this matter.
you could also bring up the topic of lesbianism in casual conversation and see how she reacts..
other way would be to talk to the person's friends and see if they can give you any hints..
2007-01-15 16:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jeff 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what business is it of your if a woman is or isn't a lesbian, I personally do not care what peoples sexual orientation is as long as it is between consenting adults.
2007-01-15 17:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are a woman, you can ask if she wants to have sex with you.
Well, maybe that would put you on the spot...
But seriously, do you often ask people about their sexual relationships?
2007-01-15 16:22:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask her if she has ever made out with a girl. Also ask her her sexual fantasies and what she likes in bed.
2007-01-15 17:22:51 · answer #7 · answered by prettyprincess 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, do you play softball? lol, classic "r u a lesbian" question!
2007-01-15 17:01:13 · answer #8 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None, if they want you to know they'll tell you. It's simply rude to ask such a personal question.
2007-01-15 16:24:07 · answer #9 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really depends on why you want to know... if it's just curiousity, none of your business. If they feel comfortable with you knowing, they will let you know.
2007-01-15 16:26:16 · answer #10 · answered by lauritachiquitabonita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋