My boyfriend Tom and I will marry in June. His parents are divorced. His father has not remarried. His mother lives with her longtime partner in a state that doesn't have same-sex marriage, but he calls his mom's partner, Liz, his "stepmother".
My question is, what do I call Liz? When I introduce people to Liz now, I call her Tom's mom's partner. After Tom and I are married, should I call her my stepmother-in-law or what?
I love both Tom's mom Sara and her partner Liz dearly, and I don't want to offend or disrespect either of them!
Have you had any experience like this? Thanks so much!
2007-01-15 15:58:36 · 19 answers · asked by farmgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
jus' call her mother-in-law.since u say u like either of them,either of them are equal in all respects to u.
2007-01-15 16:02:50 · answer #1 · answered by Prathan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was raised in a lesbian household and I know just how confusing and embarrassing the 'correct' terminology can be. "Liz" is not married to Tom's Mother so therefore She is not technically and in-law of yours. Your best bet is to do what I tell everyone else to do in a situation like this, ask Liz and Sara how They want to be addressed. Simple, straight forward and They cannot blame You if You are only doing as You were told. Good luck with the relatives, and the wedding.
2007-01-15 16:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No experience in this area but proper etiquette says when in doubt - ask. Just ask Liz or Sara discretely what they would like Liz called. Tell them you do not want to make Liz feel uncomfortable with the introductions at reception.
If they do not have a preference then call her what you are most comfortable with.
2007-01-15 16:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure you just call her Liz. It isn't really necessary to describe your connection when you introduce her. You could ask them how they would like to be introduced also.
2007-01-15 16:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by James B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issues with a brother.
I say this is my brother "sam" and his life partner 'joe'
I can't call him my brother in law as Texas Laws forbid same sex marriage...but they've been together a long time.
Now when he first started dating him I called him Joe, Sam's special friend" but it's been years now so...
Hope that helps.
2007-01-15 16:04:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her by her first name. I would think the same would apply if Mom's partner were a man.
2007-01-15 16:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call his mother "Mom Sara" and her partner "Mom Liz"
2007-01-15 16:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would call her Liz
2007-01-15 16:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask her what she would like you to call her, but look at it this way...You are a grown woman and she is a grown woman...you call her by her name. You can introduce her as a friend or as a friend of your mother-in-law.
2007-01-15 16:06:25 · answer #9 · answered by jeffery g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have to put a label on it, actually.
I think you would introduce her just as you always have and let it go at that.
Don't make something complicated out of it.
2007-01-15 16:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by Gnome 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call her by her first name.
2007-01-15 16:11:03 · answer #11 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋