I am soo nervous. Help?

Question

This is my first pregnancy...I am 31 weeks and terrified of labor. I am soo afraid that it will hurt soo bad that I just wont be able to deal with it...and die or something lol. I know that I sound really dramatic..but I am not a big pain person..and I am terrified. Please...help me out...am I gonna be able to do this? I am gonna get an epidural and everything but still..I heard that those arent always soo hot for pain. I mean...Just from your experiences..do you think I have labor built up a lot worse in my mind than what it really is? Erg..please help...some comfort. Thanks..NO RUDE ANSWERS.

Answer 1

I think every woman goes through those thoughts before labor. Yes, labor hurt really bad, but I actually don't remember the pain. I remember screaming and all that jazz, but if I think about giving birth I don't think about the pain-I think of the tears that my husband shed when he first saw my son and I think of the warmth I had when I got to hold him.
Practice breathing and relaxation techniques-if you tense up it just makes the pain worse. I got an epidural and it worked so great that I told the man that gave it to me that I loved him!

Answer 2

Your body as with all women, is meant to reproduce & give birth. You can handle it. I had an epidural...It worked exactly as they said I was totally pain free, until near the end when they turned it down so that I could push... (I ended up with a c-section). However I do not recommend an epidural. There are a lot more risks & side effects of an epidural than Dr.'s let on.

The cons of epidural (that you don't always hear about) are:
(Paraphrased from The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Hanci Goer)
- They slow labor, which increases the need for pitocin to stimulate stronger contractions, which leads to higher episiotomy rates, especially in first time mothers. You'll have to have constant electronic fetal monitoring & IV's and a catheter. You will be more likely to develop a fever. Constant fetal monitoring increases your risk for needing a c-section. IVs can cause fluid overload, which can lead to fluid in the lungs of both you & the baby. Catheterization can lead to UT infection. The use of pitocin can cause fetal distress.

I don't want to scare you more...But you should know what you are putting at risk!!!

I was induced at 41 weeks. My Dr. said I was late (I was actually early 1st time pregnancies average 41 weeks 1 day & you can safely pass that by 2 weeks)... I had an 18 hour labor augmented with pitocin, had an epidural 8 hours in at about 6 cm's, they did an amniotomy (broke my water, which also isn't good for the baby) pushed for 1.5 hour then had a c-section... I wish I had waited & studied more about natural childbirth... EDUCATE yourself...With both sides of the stories, weigh your decisions hard!!! Having a c-section was the worst experience of my life the only good that came out of it was my son!

Answer 3

It's normal to be a bit freaked out about labor. It's not nearly as bad as you think. The doctors can give you some pain medicine if you're really in a lot of pain before you're able to get your epidural, and most of the time people feel very little or no pain once they get a epidural so don't worry about it. You're body was made to go through labor and women have been doing it for thousands of years, and trust me, after your baby's born you'll forget all about your labor no matter how great or painful it was. In any case it's a great experience so relax.

Answer 4

I felt the same way going into my first labor, I am not going to lie to you it does hurt BUT just remember your body was designed to have a baby. I am not a big pain person either so naturally I was nervous, just remember to walk get into comfortable positions and use the birthing ball (it helped me) Also take a nice hot shower if you can it not only relaxes you but can help with back labor. Instincts will kick in and you will make it through, before going in write a birth plan so your Dr. is aware of what you want, if you are set on an epidural make that clear. Epidurals are good and I have spoken to many moms who didn't feel the pain just pressure and heat. In my experience my epidural wore off just before I started pushing and they could not give me anymore so I felt everything...it was painful but not unbearable. Also share your thoughts with your significant other that way if you are tense or jittery you have another person to speak for you. Just remember you are in control, you will do GREAT and the bundle of joy at the end of the road makes it all worthwhile. Best of luck!!

Answer 5

Well, think of it this way: there's no way out at this point. You're going to have to deliver this baby one way or another. (And a C-section, while perhaps less painful at the time, is WAY more painful after the fact, and for longer.)

With my first, I labored for 52 hours, pushed for 3, and then had an emergency C-section due to preeclampsia and fetal/maternal distress. Turned out I had a skeletal abnormality that would not allow her head to pass, and it took two sets of hands and a vacuum extractor to get her out, even in the OR!

I didn't get an epidural until the last minute, and I only did it because the docs thought it might help control my blood pressure and bring the situation back under control. The epidural definitely took the edge off things, although her head was jammed against my tailbone, and it couldn't do anything about the bone pain.

But contractions, while intense, and nothing I want to repeat any time soon, were really not SO terrible. Everyone has a different analogy because it's so hard to describe, but I like to ride my bike, and I like to ride long distances, and I don't mind climbing hills. And I found that labor was a little bit like that. It had its own rhythm, which I couldn't control. But it was bearable when I just focused on the job at hand and the next contraction, just like I'd focus on turning the pedals one revolution, then another, then another. Looking straight at the top of the hill can freak anyone out, but enjoying the ride, and watching the ground pass beneath you can get you to the top sooner than you'd ever expect.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, and you'll do fine. Even though this is your first time, women have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years. :) You're gonna do great.

Answer 6

First thing is first, CALM DOWN.
It is not that bad. I dont handle pain well and am a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to pain. But I managed to give birth twice.
It does hurt but you can handle it. I didnt have an epidural cause I was to scared nor any other form of pain relief. And I managed fine.
You have to calm down, I was freaking out with my first and I think it made the labour longer. If I was nice and calm I think it would have been easier. I didnt have a any bad experiances or a long labour but I think if you are calm it helps alot.
It may sound weird but what helped me was my Mum laughing at me when I was getting hysterical. She was like been there done that. So having someone there to suppourt you how you need it is great.
Trust me you will be able to handle it and if your getting an epidural it will help.
I'm sure you will be fine darling just remember to breathe and try and relax.
Congratulations and I wish a quick and painless birth. And a healthy baby.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

You will be fine. It is not as bad as you think. It is scary that you can't imagine what the pain is like- but it is tolerable. Do not wait to long to get your epidural. I would say to request it about 1/2 hr before you think you will need it because that is about how long it will take the anesthesiologist to get to your room to give it to you- so I suggest not waiting until you can't stand it. After I had my epidural I felt NO pain at all. I even sent my husband home to take care of our dogs and to get something to eat and I just chatted away with the nurses. The epidural itself did not hurt at all being done. Just a little prick like drawing blood would feel. I ended up having a c-section and I thought that would be horrible but it wasn't and the recovery was not as bad as I expected either. Just don't work yourself up! The best advice I can give you is to not go into this with any expectations of having either a great easy delivery or a difficult one. Everyone's experience is different but you will be able to deal with it. By the way- I was freaking out everyday about how scared I was to go into labor because of the pain factor. I laugh about it now- and I had back labor which was really no fun- but the epidural instantly relieved my pain.

Answer 8

You said you will use pain medication which is a plus but don't build labor up to be more then what it is. Yes it may hurt depending on how you deal with pain. Meditation is good for when a contraction hits. Try to enroll in a child birthing class or buy a book about what to expect. You will be fine as long as you have your emotions under control. If you tell yourself this is gonna hurt and is gonna be hard then honey you will make it worse then what it has to be. If you have someone around to support you then focus on them. Again yes labor depending on how long you have it will hurt but it is the best experience ever don't be afraid you'll be fine focus on the new little one you'll love forever and befor you know it he/she will be here and you will forget about half of pain. Good Luck

Answer 9

You need to RELAX...easier said than done I know!! Okay now that your breathing again! My mum once told me this....Woman all over the world give birth all every second of the day! If it was sooooo bad wouldn't every woman only ever have 1 baby. Have you ever seen a cat or dog giving birth? Maybe that's what you need to see. Sure I'm not going to say it is painless but just keep in focus what your going to achieve!!! YOUR VERY OWN BEAUTIFUL BABY !!!!! I have done it 3 times with only gas for pain relief, (my 2nd I only got 2 puffs on it!!) Believe me when I say its worth it...after all what wouldn't you do for your baby! I have never really believed the people who say you forget the pain straight away, however when you see your little tiny miracle it all really is to great a feeling to describe. Read up on breathing techniques or take some classes. During labour remember to listen to the midwifes! they really do know what they are talking about even though at the time you wont believe me! Put you trust in someone to bring you what ever you may want as quickly as possible like ice cubes, wet washers etc. You really don't want to be waiting for these thins for long!!! Above all keep it all in perspective!!! A BABY IS ON THE WAY, HELP THEM TO GET HERE!!!

Answer 10

My first labor lasted 19 hours; the second 6 hours. The difference was my attitude. Just like you, I feared the pain with my first one. With each contraction, I held on, clenched my teeth,etc. During my second labor, I tried to flow with it. I know this sounds corney, but I envisioned a flower opening as I dilated (I read this in a book). I repeated the mantra in my head, "baby come out" over and over again. You need to relax or you will have a hard, long labor. I believe the mind has a lot to do with it. I did not have any drugs with both of my labors, and yea, it is the worse pain you will ever feel....but it is worth it! I also have a low threshold for pain. Remember, it will not last forever and you do forget. You will be able to do it because you have to! I would read as much about labor as possible. I recommend any book by Ina May Gaskin. Both of my children were born in water. The warm water offers a great relief to the pain. Another trick is to squeeze combs with your hands, as there are pressure points in the palms of your hands that relieve pain. Good luck! If you are interested in natural toys for your baby, visit my blog:
http://www.ecochildsplay.com

Answer 11

Hi! You are going to be fine. Modern medicine has advanced so far beyond the popular conception of "painful childbirth" that it's almost a thing of the past. I will NEVER say that childbirth is painless, but it's certainly gotten easier to deal with. As new medications are developed, the doctors and scientists are finding new ways of blocking pain without risk of injury to the baby. The epidural is efficient, but make sure they know you want it, and that they give it to you in a decent time-frame. My wife's epidural came almost too late to help, for example. Also, relax! You are about to see your baby for the first time, and admit it, you're already madly in love with him or her! Oh, one last thing! Make sure you have someone to hold your hand. It may sound silly, but it helps. Oh, yes, I am a guy, but my wife is looking over my shoulder. If I were getting it wrong, trust me, she'd let me know!