My wife and I have been married for 30 years. She is a wonderful person. Very faithful and moral. When dating, she had admitted to having sex one time each with 2 other boy friends. She seems very loyal, in fact she has never given me a reason to be suspicious. She has told me that she has no desire to even look at other men. However, she refuses to talk about her old boyfriends. This seems odd. What could be a reason why this is a problem for her? Or am I making too big a deal of this. Thanks for your input.
2007-01-15 15:14:24 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is very normal ... She obviously is a very loyal and loving wife to you... I don't look at other men and i love my husband very much... I am totally happy and in love with my husband and that makes all the difference! She has let go of the past and she truley loves you and her marriage... You should really count your blessings for the wonderful wife that you have and don't knock it!
2007-01-15 15:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
After 30 years?? Why would you want her to talk about old boyfriends? She has no desire to look at other men, she has no desire to think about boyfriends she had over 30 years ago. You're the man in her life.
I think you are being unreasonable, and maybe just looking for something about which to disagree?
After living with you for 30 years, there's probably not much about her you don't know. She's probably shared 99% of herself, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, with you, kids if you have them, and everyone else she's taken care of. If she wants her old memories to belong just to her, she has a right to them. Be grateful you have such a loyal, wonderful, moral wife and respect her wish to keep something that belongs only to her.
2007-01-15 23:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
30 years thirty 3-0 three and zero 30 years???
and you now think this is a problem? come on are you just looking for a fight? who cares about her x b/f im sure they were loosers maybe she really doesnt even remeber much about them now i have been married for 20 yrs and i had sex with a couple of my x b/f too but they were not worth my time and i couldnt even tell you any of the details now they were in my past as is your wifes why do you want to know about them anyway? come on pal you should be proud and happy you have been married to the same person for 30 yrs now that doesnt happen very often now days stand up be proud of that and stop inviting problems into your home where they dont need to be..... they were loosers thats y they are called xxxx you are the man the husband the one she loves
2007-01-15 23:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by crazyme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's ashamed or embarrassed by some past activities. To me is sounds like it's just a part of her past and she doesn't consider her past relationships as part of who she is now. Which is a great thing, in my opinion. She has good boundaries...keeps the past in the past, and so on.
Since there has been no problems or even inclining towards problems in this area after thirty years, I would let it slide..
If she doesn't want to talk about it, drop it. Don't forcibly bring things up for her that she's put in her past for a reason...She's been faithful and loyal, right? So she must have a good reason for keeping it all in the past.
You know, curiosity killed the cat as they say...
2007-01-15 23:30:58 · answer #4 · answered by Midnight Butterfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been married for over 30 years why do you care? It isn't odd, its her past in the past and there is no reason to discuss it. I think most people don't talk about their past boyfriends. What is the point? I've been married 17 years neither of us talk about previous relationships. Frankly I don't care about the boyfriends my wife had before we were married, they aren't in our life. I don't need details.
2007-01-16 06:04:50 · answer #5 · answered by Guinness Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not that it is a big deal, but that you feel it is a big deal. What more info could she possibly give you that is important...i know you think after 30 years there should not be any secrets but there always are...rule of thumb...don`t ask questions you already know the answer to and don`t ask questions to which you are not sure if you want to know the answer.
2007-01-15 23:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Therapist King 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems odd that, after 30 years of marriage, you still try to quiz her about her old boyfriends! You are making too big a deal out of this. I know I don't talk about my old boyfriends because I don't care what they're doing or where they might be. They're like a couple of pairs of socks that used to be my favourites then they got wore out anf I threw them out. Now I have a super pair of socks that hold their shape and are always comfortable. (got it?) Why the hell would I ever think about, much less talk about those icky old socks?
2007-01-15 23:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by bigclaire 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Her ex-boyfriend's are none of your business and it sounds like she has great boundaries. There is absolutley nothing positive that can come out of you having any knowledge of her past experiences. I have the same rule as she does. I don't want to ehar about your ex's and I will do you the same courtesy! What would you do if she told you one the guys she slept with had a monster C _ _ K!? You wouldn't like them apples would you. I think the real questionayoua re wanting to ask her is if you are better then them in bed? Right?
2007-01-15 23:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
your making too big a deal of it. yall been married 30 years. Some people are like this when it comes to discussing past relationships with someone they are really commited to because they don't want you thinking of them with some one else. Thats not whats important.
2007-01-15 23:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by josh/julie m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you've been married 30 years. Who really cares about boyfriends from that long ago? She doesn't want to talk about them because it is not something that needs to be discussed. She has been with you for 30 years and is HAPPY. Isn't that enough?
2007-01-15 23:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by schoolot 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋