Should I continue to talk to my ex as a married woman?

Question

I was in a relationship with my ex some years ago. The only reason we didn't stay together is because he disappeared on me and when he came back I was already in another relationship. I still loved my ex and cared for him but I couldn't just end it with the current boyfriend at the time. Well I ended up marrying that current boyfriend.

Now 5 years later after losing contact with him I found my ex online (I always searched for him and I finally found him) but now I don't know what to do with the relationship. . .can we be friends? Maybe I am just tempted because things aren't all that perfect in my marriage right now. . . .

Answer 1

I would pray about it and let God be the one to give you your answers. I really believe you miss your ex alot. I miss my husband too! My husband & I have been separated for a few years and I am praying for a restored marriage. I get a daily devotion on my e-mails from a couple in Florida that help the separated & divorcees. If you ever want to look them up, their e-mail address is www.rejoiceministries.org. They can direct to the right person to talk to. I will be praying for you & your situation!

Answer 2

I dealt with this same issue, to talk to the ex or not. On the one hand we had gotten along so well and we just clicked. On the other, we were always trying to define our relationship since we couldn't agree on what we were to each other. We broke it off and I got married and out of the blue he contacted me. I talk to my ex, even though in many ways I still deeply care about him, but I care and I love my husband more. I don't have to deal with the temptation of cheating where as it sounds like you have the temptation to do something. Look ahead and ask yourself if you start talking to him again, how would this impact your marriage? Would you keep it a secret and if so why? No marriage is perfect, it never will be perfect and every marriage is work. If you start taking to him again, is it becasue you want something to happen between you and your ex or do just want to be friends? If your tempted to do something you might regret later now, I say no. Don't do it.

Answer 3

Things are not right in your current marriage. Transfer that energy you have for your ex to your husband and things might just get better. How would you like it if it were the other way around. Stop makeing the ex Mr Wonderful -he disaapeared on you that is how mature and responsible and committed he is. Your husband who has stayed committed to you has remained within the marriage. He has his faults sure you have yours read your posting. Give some thought to his misery as well, my bet is he is not overly thrilled with the state of your marraige right now. You might not have a sexual relationship seeing your contact is online but indeed will have an emotional one that will interfere further with your current one. If your marriage ends then dont blame anyone but yourself. I sound biased but if your marriage must die then let it go to its death with just the two of you. Remember how your ex treated you before, it was not as great as you recall it, time eases many a pain, look and see what this man really did

Answer 4

I cannot consider how a lot vigour you are giving this lady. You're addressing her accusations one after the other along with your emotional responses. Though you are saying it is time for her to develop up, I'm sorry to mention that you just lost sight of the truth that it is time for you too, as good. An grownup might under no circumstances have interaction in all this silliness. Moving ahead, you have got to difference your dwelling quantity, make it unlisted and under no circumstances supply it to any of those humans. Then your husband demands to get a cellphone cell and supply the quantity to his ladies, asking them to hold the quantity private. That would possibly not final without end, but if they do percentage the quantity it would possibly not be your dwelling quantity. The cellphone cell will have to take messages even supposing there is not well reception. He can assess them usually. If, come what may any individual will get your quantity, cling up on them with out even talking and go away it at the answering desktop for a couple of days. Just erase the messages. I believe you could, deep down be having fun with this clash, so it perhaps tough to only quit. If the cellphone cell quantity suggestion is unworkable, the women would be influenced to speak with their dad by way of e mail. It's infrequent that a real emergency happens, and this would be a transitority degree. When the ex's curiosity dies down, you would supply the women the quantity once more.

Answer 5

Although things may not be perfect in your relationship right now....there is no reason to continue to talk to your ex....and just maybe things are not going well in your relationship right now due to the fact you have not let feelings for a man that left you years ago go....When you get married you become one...your half (as in you) is messing things up...If you think your husband can't sense that you're not happy and that you're looking for somebody else then you're wrong...How would you react to your husband if you found out that he looked for his ex on line and now wants to talk to her...I am pretty sure you're feelings towards him would not be rainbows and butterflies...As a married woman don't waist time on a man that just disappeared on you...It's not that you still love him some people don't handle rejection well and want some kind of closures...Maybe you can get him to give you the "it's wasn't you it was me line:" that way you can get over him and concentrate on the right man...YOU'RE HUSBAND!!!!!

Answer 6

Why did your ex disappear to begin with? And who says he won't disappear again! Stay away from the past...things happen for a reason. Maybe things aren't perfect in your current relationship because you are reading too much into the past relationship.

Answer 7

You probably shouldnt have married the current boyfriend when you knew that you still loved your ex, you needed to get over him fully before got into a marriage. Cause all you have done now is just lied to yourself and the person that you were supposed to have love for, Im not saying this to be harsh but i really do think that you have been searching for your ex in hoping to find him, i dont really think that you should try and get into a relationship as a friend as you still love him and this will cause conflict with you current relationship, remember he left you and hurt you, why would you want to make that same mistake again. I know that it is hard to get over your ex as i am in that same situation, but my ex went to jail, and now hes out i want him back but im in a relationship where i have been asked to marry him, I am going to marry my current man, but im not going to try and have a friendship with my ex as i know this is going to be hard for myself.

Answer 8

Maybe things arent good in your marriage because youve spent the whole time trying to find an ex. You shouldnt have married this man if you loved someone else. You either one need to avoid all contact with the ex or tell your husband what you have been doing and let him decide if he still wants to be with you.

Answer 9

If your searching for an ex while your married then you shouldn't be married. If things are bad in your marriage then take the time your are spending searching for an ex and try to communicate with your husband.

Answer 10

You really need to figure out what you really want. It's one thing to talk to an ex, but it sounds like you want to get back together with him. If he left you like that before, odds are, he will do it again. If you're not happy in your current relationship, maybe you should spend a little time alone & get to know YOU.