What men really think? This is funny?

Question

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

Answer 1

uhhhh....
for once I almost didn't read this and was ready to just type

"TWO POINTS"

but you are lucky I like your boobs and gave you the only thumbs up here!

Answer 2

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
Sometimes, but not for me. If I'm going fishing, I'm going fishing, end of story.

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
Sometimes, that or I'm blatantly lieing... to my step-mom

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
Not usually, that's often truth, that or what you're saying they don't find particularly interesting.

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
Sometimes, but for me it's usually "I can't concentrate on my homework over the sound of you surgically cleaning the carpet for the fourth time today." Seriously, you don't really need the house to be THAT clean.

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
Yeah, usually, or at least "Are you still talking about THAT?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
If a guy forgets your birthday, he doesn't know you well or doesn't care.

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
Not true usually. Roses are expensive, so usually when a guy gets you roses he doesn't care that his gift costs a lot. He wants it to mean something.

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
Here's an interesting one. I will seriously look everywhere for something and not see it when it's right in front of my face. That's not lack of trying, I don't know what that is...

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
Kind of, usually it means "I'm not going to admit to anything." unless you really do blame him for tons of stuff.

"I HEARD YOU."
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
Sometimes, sometimes it's honest though.

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
Don't listen to that line, it's a flat out lie. It's always possible to love someone else, it's a matter of commitment that's important.

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
Sometimes, but more usually "I can't tell one outfit from another unless it's laungere, so I'm going to be nice and not piss her off by telling her that."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
No, means "I don't know where I am but I can probably find where we're supposed to be if you give me a little time."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Not in my world, but here's the deal I'd like... You do housework, I'll do yardwork... then if I get done first I'll help you.

Answer 3

it fairly is a non secular "beginning," which potential growing to be a sparkling individual. it is our cultural language game for signifying that this individual has replaced, and the ritual that is going with it (water baptism) symbolizes a 2d beginning. it fairly is a public confirmation that this individual has been made sort new. And snice we proceed to be sinners even after this happens, we are being born returned all of the time, as we admit our errors and attempt to correctly suited them and do better. we are continuously growing to be new. the large element approximately this metaphor is that no rely how some distance you have long previous down the different direction, no rely how evil you have been, there is often wish in being made new.

Answer 4

Oh yea...every one of those is ABSOLUTLY correct. And what do they say when you inform them of their real answers??? Huh, what, I don't know what you are talking about.

Answer 5

Alright.

But not true for all men or even most men.

Answer 6

Dang! I knew my wife knew all that, but how did you find out?

Answer 7

True. Good one as well.

Answer 8

That's funny

Answer 9

why does every women assume all men are like that?

Answer 10

damn that was long you got some good point though, i like the fishing one...!!!