Is this Harassment at Work?

Question

I've been working at a factory for a month and I work with a lot of men. I sort of became friends with one of the guys that is 20 years older then me but strictly just friends at work. He's married and has a kid so I don't take it passed work. He has started to say things to me such as I will miss you, and he's even asked me out to dinner on a few occasions. I have told him no. Then I confronted him through texting and told him that if he is telling me these things not as a friend then there is a problem. He finally spilled out to me that he is falling for me. I told him he's wrong he has a wife and we cant be friends, nemore he needs to lose my number. Then he asked me if its wrong to fall in love even though he loves his wife. I used the excuse im a lesbian to get him off my case. And now hes saying the reason he told me all those things is tofind out himself if I really was lesbian because eople are talkingabout me at work. Should I report this? I think now he will tell everyone.

Other details. I am not a lesbian and just used that excuse for him to leave me alone. Also, he texted me with he doesn't even like me because im not sexy and dont watch my figure, then he put jk. That is not a nice thing to say. I feel really uncomfortable now. What do I do?

Answer 1

Why did you give this guy your phone number? Anyway, I'd report it, especially since he's talking about you behind your back. It's technically harrassment. Or, tell him to shut the #@%$ up or else you'll report him. Give the jerk a chance, even though he doesn't deserve it. I had this creep keep hitting on me at my work, but when someone reported it (I told some woman while I was washing up in the bathroom, and she (without my knowledge or consent) told the bosses. I didn't rat him out, because having to work there is more punishment than being fired. Plus it's not like he touched me or anything.

Answer 2

You know, there doesn't seem to be many guys responding back so i would like to give my input if i may.

I can see what yuo are saying but at the same time we guys do stupid things at the beginning. We dont use our heads at first and we tend to fall for girls very quickly. From what i am seeing it looks to be a simple crush by this guy on you and he now got his feelings really hurt when you just proclaimed you were a lesbian. Obviously he knows its not true and you made it up and now he feels hurt that he wants to resiprocate. Obviously he is wrong for saying what he did by texting those things to you recently but understand the situation from an objective stand point.

I honestly think you should just go meet with him at work and let him know straight up that you just want to be friends and that you have no feelings and just act like all is fine with you...as friends. You dont want to blow this up to be some kind of confrontation because it really isnt that serious a big deal until after you brought up the lesbian thing. It just came off as a crush. It could have been difused early on by just reminding him that it was wrong but certainly not getting upset with him. Guys are weird but certainly not psychopathic to not understand...he just needed constant reminding because to him it was maybe you were playing hard to get.

So anyway, i think it is a little excessive to report him this early. I think talk to him in person and just let him know casually that it cant work and if he still persists even after you keep reminding him everyday then you can report it but i think it wont need to go this far.

His feelings were hurt when you made that up and he was retaliating with those txt responses....dont use that as ammunition against him since it was started by your comment. But definitely i can see your situation but trust me when i say he will stop coming onto you when you just say no and ignore him.

Answer 3

First off, you must NOT transfer. : ) Second, What within the hell is mistaken with the ones folks? Thirdly (and fundamental) Yes, dossier a lawsuit in opposition to the hoa and in opposition to the president for my part. TODAY, pass and dossier the restraining order. Just due to the fact that he's the president of the HOA, does NOT deliver him ANY authority to go into your residence or storage. EVER! My dad used to be pres of an HOA as soon as. Fourth. Did you understand that in case you shoot anybody INSIDE your apartment, it is regarded self protection? Just make certain he's INSIDE your apartment. With the children, you will have an hermetic case. Freakin pedophile! Suggest he used to be going to damage your puppies and your kids. Glad your different neighbor used to be evicted, that a few fear off your shoulders. Fifth. he used to be going to close up your puppies? If they were not barking, what EXACTLY did he imply. He's threatening your puppies! USE THAT AGAINST HIM! Seriously! Animal abuse is against the law. Sixth. The Cat will handle it inquisitive about you. He's well at "taking care" of undesirable matters, spiders, insects and mostly even folks. Good good fortune!

Answer 4

you need to stay away from him as much as possible ... if he still persists with this nonsense then speak to someone about it
as far as the lesbian comment ...just tell some of the other co workers that he freaked you out and you panicked and said that....I'm sure he probably has done this many other times...and they will understand. He's a PIG! Good Luck!

Answer 5

As far as I know, once you've told him to stop--stop talking to you/about you because it makes you feel uncomfortable--it's harrassment--hostile work environment specifically.

If however, you've hemmed and hawed and told him to quit but then talked to him about 'you two' again and tried to reason with him then you need to give him the "you are making me uncomfortable at work and any more talking about my sexual choices or telling me you love me will be construed as harrassment" speech. to report him without doing that isn't fair. people lose their jobs over claims like the one you are going to make. give him a final warning before you report him.

i had an older married coworker who I considered a second father confess his 'love' for me and it was very upsetting. i had told him personal things in confidence, never thinking he would think of me sexually. luckily when i told him to back off he did, but our friendship was never the same and sometimes when he looks at me it still creeps me out.

his loving you is not a crime. his telling you is in very poor judgement but he probably felt he needed to put himself out there just in case you would reciprocrate. make it clear that you don't and never will, and that it's offensive that he thinks you don't deserve better than a married man. don't lie to him about being gay or having a boyfriend because honesty is the only way not to send mixed signals. if he keeps bothering you after you've warned him, report him. it's your livelihood or whatever, you should be able to work without feeling threatened or umcomfortable.

Answer 6

It isn't harassment If you don't want to accept his propositions because he's married, fine, but don't jump on the harassment bandwagon. I thought women were getting over the idea of revenge for every little thing men did. I guess I was wrong in your case.

Answer 7

Yes it is harassment and it may get worse now since you lied about your sexuality. Go to the proper level and let them know and get it in writing with them. It will make your life at work terrible as gossip gets around fast.

Answer 8

I have taken multiple sexual harassment courses for volunteer work and multiple jobs.

This would be considered sexual harassment. Report it to your boss.

I hate guys who cheat or try to cheat. I'm a guy and that upsets me because it gives decent, respectable men everywhere a worse name and we have to make up for it.

Answer 9

Avoid him, stop answering his text, and if he persists tell him that you will talk to his wife about how is sniffing around you like the dog that he is.

Answer 10

You need to consult with your human resources department. They will do a full investigation. He will get to tell his side of the story as will you. They will also meet with others throughout the workplace.